Monday, September 1, 2008

Captain Rainbow: Longing for a US release and an ESRB rating

This article was actually written at about 2:00 AM Saturday morning. Greetings from the past!

As of late, plenty of news has been pouring in about Captain Rainbow. From the makers of Chibi-Robo, Captain Rainbow is bringing back several old Nintendo characters to the frontlines, with cameos ranging from Punch-Out's Little Mac to the guy from Golf (NES). Another thing the game is bringing, though, is a lot of risque content. Birdo has a "vibrating and buzzing" device, while the aforementioned guy from Golf scratches his "balls" in another scene. It should go without saying that this will be a hard sell to Nintendo of America. Is there even the slightest chance Captain Rainbow will make his way over to our NTSC Wii disc drives?

Well, in my opinion, it just might happen. As far as I know, the two previous scenes are the only real problems with the game, with the only other problems (Exhibit A and Exhibit B) being fairly easy to "fix" for the North American audience. So, how can these two offenders be brought to order? Here's my thoughts.

As for Birdo's "vibrating" device used to prove her femininity, I think it could be easily replaced by something as innocent as a electric lady shaver. They both vibrate, except one is used for shaving legs, and the other is for... Something else. Other than that, I don't see any other steps needed to be taken. Sure, you and I may thing a lady shaver is in no way proof that someone's female, but hey, robot cops are gullible. Also, it's a videogame, so give it a little slack.

As for Mr. Golf's itchy "balls", the fix is quite simple. Have him sitting there scratching himself just like in the Japanese game, with the bulges and all, but simply manipulate the text to have nothing to do with it. Just make the scratching this something Mr. Golf just does, like a quirk. And really, that's all that has to be done there.

Now then, what about an ESRB rating for Captain Rainbow? I think that if the previous steps are taken, Captain Rainbow could easily pass as a E10+. Not quite a T, but certainly too much to be an E.

Still, though, the biggest problem remains if this game is suitable for a North American audience. If past track records are any indication, Skip and Nintendo probably won't take the risk. Both of the Chibi-Robo games (Also by Skip and Nintendo) sported similarly bizarre stories and concepts, neither of which selling very well at all despite the generally positive critical reception. I think that no matter what tweaks are made to the more risque portions of Captain Rainbow, it just won't make it to North America. The title is just too bizarre for the general audience here. A real pity, too, considering the game looks like a blast.

Well, at least this way I won't have to look at Birdo's... Nose.

Discuss This Article On The Forums

No comments: