Ironically, piracy control has itself gotten out of control

Not a long article, I know. Wednesday may bring something more substantial.



I just don't see what Electronic Arts was thinking. I can understand that a company would want to protect sales of their software by adding layers upon layers of anti-piracy measurements, but this recent implementation of Digital Rights Management is hurting everybody but the pirates.

For those who don't know, digital rights management (DRM for short) is a new security feature integrated into Will Wright's brainchild Spore. Basically, DRM limits how many times a particular copy of a game can be installed to three. That may work fine for some people, but imagine you have a habit of uninstalling software when you're done with it, then re-installing it later to play it over again. Well, Spore and DRM are here to throw a wrench into those plans. In order to install it a fourth time, you'll have to contact Electronic Arts directly, verify that you bought the game (That should be fun), and then get a new verification code in order to once again play a game you've already payed for. All this messing around with the enjoyment of honest, paying customers just to stop some pirates.

Well, it isn't working. In fact, Spore is ironically becoming the most pirated game in history. People are so upset with this whole DRM fiasco that, instead of going through all the legal channels, are just downloading the game illegally. It's easier, it's faster, and it's more reliable. Of course, I want you all to know I in no way condone piracy. On the other hand, though, I don't at all support what Electronic Arts is doing, either. It's wrong on both ends of the spectrum.

Since DRM seems to be doing nothing but increasing piracy, I have a shocking idea on how to fight back: Go back to the good ol' CD keys, and nothing more. That way everyone can legally enjoy the game easily and quickly. Sure, it won't stop piracy, but it will surely light up the Pirate Bay servers a whole lot less. Besides, I'd like to play my games, not endlessly fuss about registering them. Thanks.

Discuss This Article On The Forums

Poll #57: "Do you know someone with a pet named after a video game character?" results, banner, and a logo for One Duck's Opinion

"Yes! In fact, it's my pet!" 5 votes (13%)
"Yes" 9 votes (25%)
"I don't think so" so 5 votes (13%)
"No" 13 votes (36%)
"I'm not sure" 4 votes (11%)

It's interesting to see just how much video games have affected our mindsets, even to the point of us naming living creatures after their characters. Nothing wrong with that, of course.

For this week's banner, I decided to do something new. Behold, everyone: The One Duck's Opinion logo! It seems like as good a time as any to get a logo for the blog, so here it is. Of course, this is nothing compared to the things some truly artistically talented people can do. Just something to replace the boring text that plagued every banner!


So then, that brings us to this week's poll: "Do you have a working NES?" Looking over at my game console-covered dresser and seeing my two NES (One works sometimes, the other never works), it made me wonder how many of you guys have functioning NES consoles. If only mine were more reliable, I'd actually be able to finish Dragon Warrior...

Well, tonight's article should be up later. Should be. I'm not sure, we'll just have to see.

The Duck Has Spoken.

Portal review

Remember, this review will be using the new review scoring system as outlined in this post. Let's take this baby for a spin!

Developer: Valve
Publisher: Valve
Release Date: October 9th, 2007
ESRB Rating: T for Teen
ESRB Notes: Blood, Mild Violence

Around the time of holiday 2007, all anyone would talk about was Portal. They'd go on about the Companion Cube and "the cake is a lie", focusing mainly on the dark humour of the game. What they often didn't talk about, though, is the quality of the game itself. Personally, I think Portal is a fantastic game. Here's why.

First off, the narrative in Portal is just amazing. As the game starts, the player awakes in some sort of holding cell, with no explanation given as to why they are there. That's pretty much how the rest of the game goes, with your only source of information coming from the booming voice of the computer program GLaDOS. As it turns out, you're a test subject in the Aperture Science Enrichment Center, and you must work your way through the facility's many puzzles to test their new invention: The Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device (Commonly referred to as the "Portal Gun").

The Portal Gun is a truly amazing piece of technology. It has the ability to create portals on any flat, non-metallic surface. Up to two portals can be created at once: One blue, and one orange. The blue portal will always lead to the orange one, and vice versa. The speed of whatever enters a portal is transferred over to the exit speed, meaning something going in at 50 miles an hour will exit at 50 miles an hour as well. Or, as GLaDOS put it, "In layman's terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out".

Orange leads to blue, and blue leads to orange: A two-way ticket!

As the game progresses, the tests get more difficult, as well as quite dangerous. Moving platforms over pools of deadly liquid, balls of energy that vaporize victims on impact, and even small sentry guns that fire live rounds (As well as speak to the player, assuring them upon their deactivation that they "don't hate you"). As the game gets more difficult, GLaDOS starts to seem a little less benevolent than before. She seems to care little about your well-being and survival, making light of all fatal hazards in the trials. Looking closer, things get even more scary as you notice there's nobody in the observation rooms watching your progress. Also, GLaDOS starts glitching out, the lights begin flickering, and equipment malfunctions. What's going on here? Where is everyone? Is GLaDOS insane? Is there any cake? I won't say, but the way things turn out is expertly written, and definitely leaves the story wide-open for a sequel (Which, apparently, is already under way).

Like all other titles originally released in the Orange Box, Portal is a real treat both visually and audibly. The special effects of the portals and the lighting are just amazing, though I should expect no less from Valve. They've always managed to turn out amazingly beautiful titles in the past, and Portal is no different. From the models to the animations, Portal is nearly flawless in appearance.

Nothing about this screenshot is anything less than amazing.

Yes, that's right: Nearly. There are quite a few textures with writing on them that, even with the graphics turned up full, are virtually impossible to read. I had to back up quite a few paces to read the word "WARNING" splashed across the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator. Perhaps I shouldn't have been standing on top of it...

As for the audio in Portal, I need say only two words to express how awesome it is: "Still Alive". This amazing original song plays during the ending sequence, and serves as somewhat of an epilogue to the game. It's funny and has a great beat, and I just can't stop listening to it! As of now, I have heard it over 200 times according to Windows Media Player. Yeah, it's that good.

Also serving to make Portal as much a treat for the ears as the eyes is the excellent voice acting given to GLaDOS and the turrets. GLaDOS manages to say even the darkest things in such a happy voice, that I just can't help but laugh at times. As for the turrets, the way they say "There you are" and "Hello" is so haunting and creepy, yet strangely funny. Definitely a success in this category.

As you've probably noticed, this review is turning out to be quite short. This is mainly due to the fact that Portal is a short game. Between 7:55 PM and now (10:49 PM), I've had enough time to write this review and play through Portal one time. It's not a long game by any means, but it sure packs a lot into a few hours. To help extend the live of the game a bit, Portal also includes a selection of "Challenge Chambers". These challenges are basically levels taken from the actual game and made more difficult in some way. For example, one level has almost the entire floor replaced by a pool of lethal fluid, requiring nothing less than the utmost in precision to complete it. Finish these levels, and you'll be considered no less than a master of Portal.

-----------------------

What can I say about Portal that hasn't been said already? It's just an amazing game up, down, left and right. The game's dark humour just can't be missed, and the main gameplay mechanic is the most unique idea in a very, very long time. Without a doubt, Portal deserves all those awards it's received, as well as one more: The first ever...



So then, what do you guys think of the new rating system in action? Let me know in the comment section or in this forum thread!

Defining the "perfect 10", and a big change for One Duck's Opinion

Four. That's how many perfect 10s I've handed out in the history of One Duck's Opinion. Pretty much every time I've done it, people have gotten a little angry. "A perfect 10?! But this was wrong, and that part was bad, and such-and-such could have been better!" I don't disagree with these comments at all. In fact, I think they're right on the money. The thing is, to me, no game is perfect. It's impossible to even fathom such a thing. However, I can see a game being perfect in the way that it is fun 100% of the way. It could as be ugly as sin with a terrible soundtrack, but if it plays well and the gameplay is solid, it's a hit. Why is this? It's because games are about one thing, and one thing only: Having fun.

So if in the past I said a game deserved a 10/10, I meant it was just amazingly fun. For a good example of what I mean, let's take a look at my Super Mario Galaxy review. Of all the individual aspects to the game, graphics was the only category in which the game scored a perfect 10, with gameplay receiving a 9.8/10. In the end, though, I gave Super Mario Galaxy the prestigious award of 10/10. Why? Because the game was incredibly fun. The only reason gameplay didn't get a perfect score was because the camera control was crappy at times. Otherwise, it was fun, fun, fun all the time.

And the same goes for Team Fortress 2, Metroid Prime 3 and Super Smash Bros. Brawl. I experienced nothing but fun while playing all of these games, with the only notable exception being Brawl's online issues. To be honest, I thought at the time that those issues were based in my then-iffy internet connection. I now know this isn't so, and Brawl probably wouldn't have scored as high had my internet been up to par at the time. Still, I felt at the time that the game was nothing but fun, so it received its 10/10. I stand by all four of my "perfect" reviews.

As I sat down today to write another review, I began to think that this whole numbers system was flawed. It doesn't matter what I think a 10/10 is, since the hundreds of people who view my blog probably all have their own understanding of the ratings system. After considering this, I came to a conclusion: Numbers have got to go. So, from now on, there will be only three possible ratings on One Duck's Opinion: "YAY", "MEH" and "NAY"




These new ratings allow me to more easily get across my feelings about a game without having to assign some arbitrary number to it. If a game is fun, it gets a "YAY". If it isn't, it gets a "NAY". And if it's somewhere it the middle, it gets a "MEH". These three new ratings are a key step in making reviews more easily interpreted.

What about the summary, you may ask? Well, it's basically going to be scrapped. The only remaining part of it will be the "OVERALL" section, which will be followed up with one of the new ratings images.

The standard number system served me well for a while, but now it's time to move along. Even a plain old "9.2/10", as simple as it may seem, really is a complex and open-to-interpretation way of expressing how fun a game is. Also, looking at some other publications and review outlets, I see they all have their own scales for what number identifies a good game, and what number indicates a game is crappy. What EDGE Magazine considers to be a 7.5 is usually what IGN would consider a 8.5-9.0. As for me, I'm not sure where I'd fit in. The point is, interpreting a numerical score changes from person to person, yet everyone can understand that the word "YAY" on a green background means "This game is fun", that the word "NAY" on a red background means "This game sucks", and that the word "MEH" on a yellow background means "This game is okay".

The only exceptions to the new rating system will be product reviews. After all, I'd hardly consider a NERF DS case to be "fun". Well, unless that "fun" was just part of the word "functional", in which case it would work. Whatever. Product reviews will retain the old rating system, at least until I think of something better (If that ever happens).

So, that's all for tonight. There will be a review posted on Friday to demonstrate the new ratings system. Until then, you guys have fun.

Discuss This Article On The Forums

No update ton- er, this morning

Yeah, so... No article tonight. It's past 2:00 AM, I'm tired, and my brain is, well... Fried. I think it's best I just don't try to write something tonight rather than write something incredibly bad. Well, I suppose you can giggle at the above image for a while, then ponder how incredibly accurate it is. Or you can make up your own here and laugh it up a bit. Laughing's nice. So's sleep. So... Goodnight. Something good on Wednesday, I assure you. I've got it thought out, but too tired for it tonight. So, uh... Stay tuned or something.