Showing posts with label Valve. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Valve. Show all posts

Friday, December 4, 2009

By This Time Next Year: Volume 3

This is but the first of two annual traditions taking place this month. Tune in on the 23rd for the second annual Golden Duck Awards!


Beginning in November 2007 and continued in December 2008, "By This Time Next Year" (Now properly capitalized!) comes back for its third iteration, with past predictions reviewed and a whole new set crafted for the upcoming year. First up, as usual, revisiting those predictions made on December 3rd, 2009!

"...at least one more console will be added to the North American Virtual Console" = Correct!

Released the same day it was announced, Virtual Console Arcade was added during the 2009 Game Developer's Conference this March, bringing classic arcade games to the living room, bedroom, or wherever the heck you stuck that console!

...Star Fox Wii will have been announced for an early 2010 release (I'm not giving up on this!) = WRONG

I've been posting this one for two years now, and it still hasn't happened. Eh, I give up... Which, of course, means it will now happen.

...the true successor to the DS line of handhelds will have been announced = WRONG

You know, I'm honestly not sure what I was thinking here. It was preposterous to imagine Nintendo doing such a thing. The system's still flying off the shelf like mad, and it would be stupid to stem sales by pushing out a successor. They did release the DSi XL, though, which makes my prediction slightly less inaccurate... Slighty.

...Nintendo still won't have released a true solution to the Wii storage problem = WRONG

This one requires a little backstory for anyone either new to the site or prioritized enough to not bother remembering the ramblings of a random internet weirdo. At the time the previous edition of "By This Time Next Year" was written, Nintendo had announced a solution to the Wii's greatly-limited storage space, but the wording was so cryptic that it sounded as if it solved no problems at all. In reality, though, it appears to have been lost in translation, as the solution did indeed arrive in March 2009 (Same day as Virtual Console Arcade), and it sure did deliver. In short: I misinterpreted a cryptic Japanese press release and made an ass of myself. Next!

...Wii sales will surpass 60 million worldwide = WRONG

Oh, but I was so close! The Wii didn't quite reach that landmark, stopping just short of the predicted number with... Oh, this is painful... 58.37 million, according to VGChartz.com (Which I find to be quite accurate, thank you very much). Now this is just crazy. Well... I was close!

...the combined sales of the Nintendo DS, DS Lite and DSi will overtake the Playstation 2's record sales of 140 million+ = WRONG

...here, however, I was slightly less accurate. The DS, DS Lite, DSi and DSi XL (Man there's a lot of them!) came up 23.53 million short at 116.47 million. My predictions aren't faring so well this year, are they?

...Mother 3 will still be landlocked in Japan, without any sort of announcements made for a release outside of its homeland = Correct!

Okay, I admit, this was a bit of a "Well, duh!" prediction, following in the painfully-obvious footsteps of 2007's prediction of "Duke Nukem Forever will remain unreleased." Sadly, Professor Obvious couldn't be here today to cover this prediction, as he's having a stick of chalk removed from... Uh, on second thought, you don't want to know.

...at least two more Pokémon games will have been released (Main series and/or spin-offs) = Correct!

In fact, four have been released since then (Seven if you count the slightly different versions some games were released in)! Pokémon HeartGold/SoulSilver, Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky, Pokémon Mystery Dungeon (WiiWare), and Pokémon Rumble have all seen release since this prediction was made. Oh, that Nintendo and its Pokémon!

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And this year's overall prediction accuracy is... Five wrong, three correct. Heck, that's almost the exact opposite of last year's results! Well, perhaps these new predictions will fare better:

...Pikmin 3 will have been formally announced
...Half-Life 2: Episode 3 will have gone another year without any sort of official announcement
...a long-standing, long-since-forgotten Nintendo franchise will make its triumphant return
...Project Natal will have been delayed until 2011
...people will still be erroneously calling the Playstation 3 and Xbox 360 "next-generation"
...Mario Party 9 will have been released
...Zelda Wii will have been confirmed for a Summer 2011 release
...yet another same-as-before Call of Duty game will have been released, and people will still be yet to tire of it
...a brand-new Nintendo IP will have been announced
...SEGA will once again bring shame to the Sonic brand

And thus ends the list of predictions for the year of 2010. Hmm... Ten predictions, tenth year of the century... COINCIDENCE?!

...okay, yeah, it's a coincidence. Neat, though. Well then, what do you think of my predictions? Good? Bad? HORRENDOUS? Let your opinion be heard (And maybe even make a few predictions of your own) in the comment section, or in this forum thread.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Left 4 Dead review

Here it is, as promised (Although slightly later than expected): The first full-fledged video game review since September. Also, for any who may be wondering, the PC and Xbox 360 versions of the game are nearly identical, so you'll get the same experience either way.

Platforms: PC, Xbox 360
Developers: Valve (PC), Certain Affinity (360)
Publisher: Valve
Release Date: November 18th, 2008
ESRB Rating: M for Mature
ESRB Notes: Blood and Gore, Intense Violence, Language


Ever since the first zombie film was unleashed upon the world back in 1932 (Yes, it's been that long), the living dead have infected every form of media imaginable, from books, comics and TV shows, and all the way up the technological ladder to video games. With most zombie games, there's one player, on their own, against hundreds of thousands of generic zombies. Leave it to Valve to shake it all up and drop Left 4 Dead in our laps.

In Left 4 Dead, it's still you against the horde of the undead, but this time you're not alone. After the mass-infection that lead to the zombie onslaught, four average folks grouped together and began to fight their way out. The four survivors are Zoey, an angsty teenager; Louis, a store manager; Francis, a biker; and Bill, a Vietnam veteran. All equal in capabilities, nothing sets these four apart in terms of gameplay. It's more a matter of choosing the one that suits you best. Personally, I usually go with Francis or Louis; for the former, it's the pessimistic comments; for the latter, it's the extreme air of nerdiness.

Zoey, Louis, Francis and Bill in the "poster" for the game's third campaign

The zombies have been changed up a bit, too. First off, as I suggested above with the word "infection", these aren't technically zombies. These are humans afflicted with a terrible new virus strain (This game's release timing is either great or awful, I can't tell). Instead of rising from the dead to eat flesh and brains for no apparent reason, these humans are suffering from Rabies-like symptoms, basically leading them to go absolutely freaking mad and undergo a few physical changes (Claws, pale skin and glowing eyes are the major changes). Based on the fact that the "zombies" never seem to attack each other, one could assume that the virus targets the healthy in order to propagate its species. I'm probably looking a little too far into it at this point, but hey, speculation is fun.

Aside from your generic, Land of the Dead-like infected (The commonly accepted name for the "zombies" in Left 4 Dead), there's five "special" infected, another welcome change to the generic hordes of days gone by. Oh, Valve and their class-based multiplayer games... The "special" infected are as follows:

Boomer: Bloated and swollen to the point where it no longer resembles the human it once was, the Boomer is chock full of a disgusting concoction known simply as "bile". This is no ordinary vomit, though. Get this stuff on you, and not only will you be temporarily blinded, but dozens of infected will basically spring out of thin air and go for you. Boomers can "spread the love" either by projectile vomiting (And when I say projectile, I mean it) or via the gigantic explosion that always accompanies their deaths. Contents under pressure? An understatement.

Hunter: Next up in this horrific menagerie, and sporting a fashionable grey hoodie, is the Hunter. Leaping into the fray (Sometimes seemingly from outer space), the Hunter has the ability to pin a survivor and savagely tear away at it with his claws. Accompanied by low growling and piercing shrieks, the Hunter's often-sudden appearances are definitely one of the scariest parts of the game. As a threat, though, I don't personally consider him too notable. On the mid to lower difficulty levels, a few short bursts from an automatic weapons is enough to at least knock him off, if not kill him. Can be devastating on a survivor that's strayed from the pack, though, emphasizing the team-based play of the game.

Smoker: Identified by his coughs, swollen face and incredibly long tongue, the Smoker is the third stop on this infected bus ride of a lineup. Limping about and coughing up a lung, the Smoker doesn't sound like much of a threat, mainly because, up close, he isn't. Once he puts a bit of distance between him and his target, though, things get dangerous. That long tongue isn't just for looks; The Smoker can fire it at long distances, chameleon-style, to grab a hold of its prey. Once captured, he reels in his tongue and tears away at it with his claws. At this point, the survivor can do nothing to escape, and must be saved by an ally, once again highlighting how important teamwork is to survival.

Tank: Behold the Tank, who makes the Boomer look downright normally-proportioned by comparison. Absolutely bursting with muscles (Almost literally, in fact) and devoid of even a shred of clothing (Save the mercifully-intact jeans), the Tank is by far the strongest and hardest to defeat of all infected. It's going to take everything the survivors have to tear down this brick wall. Unlike normal brick walls, though, the Tank has fists and can move. Even brick walls tremble in fear of the Tank. Strong enough to bat around cars like toys, rip up and throw huge chunks of concrete and send survivors on unexpected long-haul flights, the Tank is the one true "boss" infected.

Those are the four infected that pop up most often, but there is a fifth one. Elusive, deadly, and entirely immobile until you piss it off. As if Paris Hilton didn't give us enough to fear about rail-thin blondes, Left 4 Dead brings us...


...the Witch. She's not magical, nor does she ride anything even remotely resembling a broom, but Witch is still definitely the best possible name for her. She sits perfectly still, weeping, and will do nothing to hurt anyone... So long as you don't set her off. One stray bullet, one wayward step, one errant twitch, and kablooie! Startle this witch, and she'll cast one heck of a painful spell on you with her insanely-huge claws. One hit is generally enough to knock a person down to the ground, and a few more can easily finish someone off. If she does manage to kill someone, though, she'll just run off and not be a problem anymore. Every cloud has its silver lining! She has twice as much health as either a Smoker or a Hunter (Even more in harder difficulty settings), making her the second most difficult to kill of the infected (Second only to the Tank, of course). Usually, when a Witch is spotted, it's best to just keep walking and leave it alone. An enemy you're encouraged not to attack... I never thought such a thing would work, but here it is.

The objective of any level is to either get to the next safe house to continue the campaign, or, in the last level of the campaign, be rescued. Many obstacles are thrown at the survivors through the course of each level, each of which must be overcome to reach the ultimate goal of safety. Almost every level has some sort of button-triggered event that will clear the path, but not without alarming every infected in the country to your location. The infected are attracted to loud noises, two words that basically define every single obstacle in the game. From lowering a forklift's arm to bring down a makeshift walkway to using a runaway train to take out a bridge, the survivor's trip through the land of the infected isn't exactly a quiet one. Triggering car alarms also causes the game to hurl the infected at you, as does walking through an airport metal detector (Hint: Guns aren't made of wood). Thankfully, the infected can't set off either on their own, lightly throwing a bone to the survivors.

The final level of a campaign is referred to as a finale, and rightly so. Like the quickened pace of the flying fireworks at the end of a 4th of July celebration, infected pour in from every direction to make your life a living Hell. So considerate, those infected. It's not just the generic horde that will be bombarding you, though. Rest assured that plenty of Tanks, Boomers, Hunters and Smokers will be dropping by to say hello as well. Huddling together in a nice little safe haven is nice, but it's not going to do you any good once rescue arrives. Once they show up, it's a mad dash through walls of infected to your once chance at salvation. Of course, after surviving the long wait for rescue to arrive, the game's not about to let you just waltz up to freedom. Infected of all kinds pour in from all directions in absurd numbers, because your day just isn't complete without seeing another thousand zombie chunks flying around. Manage to make it out, though, and that's the end of it all... Until you decide to start up the next, alternate-timeline campaign that sees the survivors right back where they started.

In most games, after a few playthroughs, you begin to remember where all the weapons are and where the bosses lie. However, this isn't "most games". Left 4 Dead contains what Valve likes to call the "AI Director", a system that distributes weapons and the infected differently each time according to the condition of the survivors. While significant obstacles will always be in the same place, no round of Left 4 Dead is every truly the same. Tanks may appear in different places, or not appear at all. Instead of one Witch to deal with, two might appear right next to each other. The AI Director makes sure that players never know just what to expect, keeping even the most seasoned of veterans on their toes.

Of course, while the AI director makes each run different, eventually the same old levels do become stale. Thankfully, Valve seems to be keeping up the same stream of free additional content for Left 4 Dead they've been providing for Team Fortress 2, adding the Survival mode detailed below just last month. While little has been announced so far, rest assured that more will be on the way, perhaps even going so far as to add entire new campaigns to the mix. It just wouldn't be a Valve game without this sort of support.

To fight their way out of this Hell on Earth, the survivors have more than their fair share of weaponry. At the beginning of any campaign, each survivor is outfitted with one pistol (Unlimited ammo), and can pick up their choice of a submachine gun (Uzi) or a pump-action shotgun. Later on in a campaign (Sometimes hidden in a side room or some other place where it may be easily missed), improved weaponry can be found in the form of assault rifles, automatic shotguns, a second pistol (For dual-wielding) and a scoped hunting rifle. Again emphasizing the teamwork aspect of the game, teams generally benefit from a variety of weaponry among the group. Nobody's going to be getting very far with everyone toting a hunting rifle.

Two types of health items are also available to the player: Health kits and pain pills. Health kits, of which there's always four available at the beginning of a campaign, restore a major chunk of a survivor's health when used. The major downside, though, is finding a good place to use it. It takes about five seconds to heal with a heath kit, during which you're completely vulnerable to attacking infected (And friendly fire. Francis, check your fire!). If interrupted in the middle of healing, one must start all over again. No healing halfway, running, and finishing up. It's all at once or not at all. It should go without saying that, if you're about to patch yourself up, you're going to need to rely on your allies for cover. Survivors can also use health kits at each other, but this is even more risky than using their own; Both are rooted in place until the healing is complete. On the bright side, the one being healed can provide covering fire during the process, meaning one isn't completely helpless during an attack. They sure do make great Boomer targets, though...

Pain pills can also restore a fair-sized chunk of a player's health, but it's a temporary effect. The health it restores constantly depletes until the recovered stamina is completely gone, leaving players right back where they started. This descent is sped up when receiving damage. Also, pain pills are never found in the beginning of a level, and must be picked up throughout the trek to the next safe house. Pain pills do have their benefits over health kits, though. Popping some pills is practically instant, leaving you prone for a far smaller amount of time than patching yourself up. Also, unlike health kits, pain pills can be handed over to allies, giving them the ability to heal up whenever they want.

Both pills and health kits are available only in incredibly limited supply, so they must be used wisely. Quite often, the health kits available at the beginning of the levels are the only ones in the whole map (The AI director likes shuffling things around, you see).

Guns and health items aren't all the survivor's have at their disposal. Also available are pipe bombs and Molotov cocktails, although in a far more limited supply. Pipe bombs, as illustrated in the game's opening cinematic, will attract all common infected in the area up to the moment it explodes, turning them all into a glorious red mist*. Molotov cocktails don't explode, but they do cover the ground in flames over a fairly generous area. A great defense considering how vulnerable the infected are to fire. In addition, scattered about the levels are propane tanks, jerrycans and oxygen tanks. Propane and oxygen tanks explode much like the pipe bomb, and jerrycans spread a field of fire similar to that of the Molotov cocktail. All items can be carried around and thrown or dropped when wanted for strategic placement.

A final environmental weapon available to players is a mounted minigun, of which there are only a handful. Firing out 40 incredibly-powerful rounds a second with a limitless supply of ammunition, the minigun is definitely a good weapon to have access to. Holding it back is an incredibly limited radius in which it can turn, and the cloud of smoke that pops up after a few seconds of firing sure doesn't help, either. These facts aside, the minigun is still a magnificent asset for holding off the infected for a short while... As long as they stay in view.

Something that must be monitored closely when in the field is ammunition stock. Each player can only hold so much, and once it's gone, you're not going to be finding much more of it until you reach the next safe house (Why the game doesn't allow sharing ammo among survivors is a mystery to me). While the trusty pistol never runs out of ammo, it's not exactly a powerhouse of destruction. Rome wasn't built in a day, and that Tank wasn't felled by a piddly little pistol.

Of course, ammunition conservation means little to the game's AI. Whereas, ideally, a team should fire equal amounts to help prevent ammo from running out too quickly, the AI always relies on the player to take point. This can lead to some big problems, one of which is illustrated in the below screenshot. To scout ahead, I hopped up on an air vent and onto the top of the roof access room of this building, when a Hunter came out of nowhere (Like always) and pinned me. So did the AI jump up the air vent like I did and come to my rescue? Nope. They just milled about, mere meters away, jumping around like a bunch of morons, seemingly awaiting the sound of my death rattle. AI units are not credit to team.

"Oh, don't mind me. You guys enjoy your tea party while I have my throat ripped out, okay?"

The letdown of the sometimes moronic AI is taken care of by Left 4 Dead's greatest asset: Online multiplayer. Screwing around offline can be fun, sure, but the game doesn't really get going until you take the plunge into the game's online component. As of this writing, there are three different modes available to be played online: Campaign, Versus and Survival. Campaign is the same as offline play (With all four survivors being player-controlled), so that begs no explanation. Versus and Survival, though, are where things get interesting.

Versus, as the name suggests, can only be played online. As far as the survivors are concerned, Versus is exactly the same as Campaign; Run to the safe house, and ultimately to rescue. The twist, however, is that the infected are not AI-controlled. And thus is the main reason Versus is my favourite mode in the game: We can play as the special infected.

As most would hopefully assume, the infected play very little like the survivors. Last I checked, Bill couldn't projectile vomit on a target 20 feet away. You never know with those army vets, though... Anyways, taking advantage of all the abilities available to the infected is the highlight of the game for me. Binding together with three other survivors is great fun, too, but nothing compares to a coordinated attack with Boomers booming and Hunters hunting while I stand on top of a building and grab stragglers with the Smoker's tongue and pull them away from their allies.

One additional ability the infected have over the survivor's is the ability to climb up what some refer to as "zombie ladders". Marked by the image of hands climbing, zombie ladders are commonly placed on map features such as fences, rock walls and drain pipes. Allowing access to tactically superior angles, the zombie ladders help balance out the infecteds' greatest weakness: Their incredibly low health. Like I said way back near the beginning of the review, it takes only a few shotgun blasts to tear a Hunter away from its pray, with Smoker's having similar amounts of health. Boomers have even less health, with one blast usually being enough to set off the bloated time bomb (Making the Boomer an excellent suicide runner, but incredibly weak in any other situation). No amount of strategy at street level is going to keep any of the three infected alive and killing for long. Spawn high, and spawn sneakily!

Left 4 Dead multiplayer: Turkey nipple frequency may vary

Helping to keep things fair, the special infected never outnumber the survivors, as it's never more than four on four; Four survivors Versus four special infected. If there's less than four players on the survivor's side, the remaining will be controlled by the computer. If the same thing happens with the infected side, AI won't take the helm, but respawn times will be greatly shortened. Yes, unlike the survivors, the special infected don't stay dead when killed, and just respawn about 20 seconds later. When you die as a survivor, though (An incredibly ironic sentence fragment, no?), you're dead, and you stay dead until the end of the round. Pretty good incentive not to die, huh? Generally the game's practically over once even a single survivor dies, putting teamwork on the front burner yet again. Even then, I've seen the remaining three survive despite my best efforts at tearing them to shreds. It's like the old saying goes: It ain't over until the Boomer projectile vomits. Or something like that.

After hearing this, you're probably pretty excited to play as the Tank and the Witch, huh? Well, I've got good news and bad news: The Tank only spawns in certain places (Like in Campaign mode), and the Witch can't be played at all (Quick refresher on the Witch: She's sliiiiiightly overpowered).

Playing as the Tank is a somewhat unique experience. In order to help with balance and keep the game from absolutely sucking if a player pointlessly abandons their computer mid-game (A phenomenon known as "AFK", or "Away From Keyboard". A phenomenon which I hate.), players will lose control of the Tank if they don't constantly attack and knock survivors around like deflated soccer balls. If this happens, control shifts to the next player on the team, letting them have a go at Left 4 Dead's take on extreme sports.

A round ends when one of two things happen: When all survivors (Minus any that may have died) make it into the safe house, or when all survivors fall to the infected. After a round ends, teams switch (Infected players become survivors, and vice versa), and the level is played again. After both teams have their go at the level as both sides, the next level in the campaign is selected, and it continues from there. Basically, Versus mode is Campaign mode, but both sides are player controlled, and it's even better.

The other mode, Survival, may seem a little redundant in name. After all, isn't the object of the entire game (Excluding half of Versus) to make it out alive? Actually, that's where Survival differs from the rest; the object isn't to make it out alive. In fact, nobody ever will make it out alive. The object is to just survive as long as you possibly can against unending hordes of the infected. Except for Witches, infected of all kinds are constantly bombarding the survivors, and all the quartet can do is delay their inevitable demise. Stages are pulled from various levels in Campaign mode, as well as one exclusive to Survival mode: The Last Stand (The level's "poster" can be found next to this paragraph). This campaign's tagline perfectly describes Survival mode as a whole: "It doesn't end well".

In Survival mode, players can only play as survivors (Which should go without saying, but I'm tossing it out there just in case). They have an infinite time to set up before hand, as a round doesn't start until the players trigger it. Once begun, though... It never ends until you do. Rounds commonly end in less than four minutes, with few players ever making it past ten (Even Valve employees often fail to reach this lofty goal). Survival is certainly the most brutal mode of all, and only the utmost of skill, planning and teamwork will see the players survive for any significant amount of time.

Something that always amazes me about Valve games is how they look. Whether taking a more unique art style like in Team Fortress 2 or going for the realistic look in the Half-Life series, they always manage to hit the nail of quality right on the head without pounding it too deep into the plank of high-end computing**. Left 4 Dead is no exception to this trend, with the game looking simply amazing without putting a major drain on my mid-range PC. Outdated graphics card, processor, CPU... You name it, I've got a primitive version of it in this computer. Grand Theft Auto 4 skips more than a CD after sliding across pavement, Fallout 3 looks like a nuke hit my monitor as well, and Mirror's Edge's sparkling in-game world sure looks a lot less "sparkling" than it should. With Left 4 Dead, though, I can crank all settings up to full, run it at my native 1024x768 resolution (My monitor's not too great, either) and experience a game that looks far better than the aforementioned trio of resource vampires, yet runs like a dream. I don't know how you do it, Valve, but keep it up!

The sparse and faint lighting in Left 4 Dead provides just enough to see where you need to go, without blinding you with its "next gen" bloom and crap. Cinematic filters dramatize shadows and fade colours to give a movie-like effect similar to what you'd see in a film like The Watchmen. On the left is a comparison of the game with (Above) and without (Below) cinematic effects. The difference is drastic, yet takes up far fewer computer resources than you'd expect. An additional graphical option is film grain, to add that one last final cinematic touch. Not quite my cup of tea (As you can tell by the two screenshots I posted above), but the option is great. It really goes to show how much Valve wanted to make a tribute to the realm of zombie cinema.

Of course, a bunch of fancy filters won't do crap for a game if it looks terrible without them. Thankfully, Left 4 Dead provides great material for the filter to improve upon, with excellent character models, environmental props and textures. Animations are also great, with injured players limping (And moving slightly slower), realistic flames stretching across the ground from a gas tank bursting, and incredibly expressive characters. There are a few rough spots texture-wise in the far-off places the special infected can go via zombie ladders, but besides that, Left 4 Dead is an all-round great-looking game.

Audio plays a major part in Left 4 Dead. Growling, screaming, gurgling, crying and more all faintly come into earshot when the infected approach; musical scores build up to a crescendo in tense situations and finales; and the back and forth commentary between the survivors is worthy of the cheesiest of zombie film scripts. Perhaps the most tense moments come when nothing can be heard. Dead silence, except for the whirring of machinery or whistling of the wind. Left 4 Dead expertly uses both presence and absence of sound to create a engrossing and sometimes scary experience.


Valve has very few franchises in their name. Team Fortress, Half-Life, Portal and Counter-Strike are the only four they can fully claim as theirs. I like to think they do so because they only take on projects that they truly feel can turn out great. If that's the case, their feelings were right on the money when they went forward with Left 4 Dead. A worthy addition to Valve's small but excellent portfolio, Left 4 Dead is a fantastic, zombie-filled adventure that manages to provide a satisfying gameplay experience without having to become overly complicated. Looking back at all the games I've played that were released in the last twelve months, Left 4 Dead is definitely within the top three. If you like hordes of zombies, strategic shooters and team-based gaming, you're going to love Left 4 Dead.

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*In fact, just about every game mechanic can be explained by watching that video, but I figured I'd write it all out and be, you know, a reviewer.

**Dang. I'm like a graphics poet or something.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Shouldn't downloaded games be cheaper than retail?

Just a short little thought I need to get out


I went on a bit of a shopping spree on Saturday, with Left 4 Dead being one of the main reasons for the trip. However, there were no copies in stock, so I couldn't get it. I thought "Well, maybe I'll just download it off Steam instead". So I get home, look it up on the Steam Store, and... It costs $50 to download the game? But it would've cost me $50 to buy it in a store! Why download it here when I can just go find it in another store for the same price and get a box, booklet, and a physical copy of it for the same price? Seriously, the downloadable version of the game costs practically nothing to produce, as opposed to the physical material and shipping expenses of the game we can buy in a store. In my opinion, downloadable games should cost at least 25% less than the retail copy. Server fees aside, each download of a game costs the seller absolutely nothing. The lower cost of distribution should be reflected in the price the buyer pays. It's ironic, really, considering Valve president and founder Gabe Newell himself has recently been quoted saying that games are too expensive nowadays. Start practicing what you preach, Mr. Newell. And no, a limited-time-only, 50%-off sale doesn't count.

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Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Brainstorming possible Team Fortress 2 class packs

All the below headers were made from screenshots shamelessly pilfered from this post over on PlayerzBlog.com. For some reason my screenshots of the class select screen didn't work, so I turned to Google for an easy way out. It is my way. Please don't kill me, PlayerzBlog.com staff!


Any day now, we'll be getting our hands on the new weapons and achievements for the Scout in Team Fortress 2. My intense anticipation for this has really sent my imagination into overdrive, with a whole bunch of future weapons and achievements beginning to surface in my mind. So, rather than wait for the updates to actually surface making it too late for speculation, here are some things I've thought up for upcoming class packs.


After the Scout, it looks like our mysterious European friend will be receiving the next class pack. Unarguably the most complex of all the nine classes, updating the Spy will be no small task. Nonetheless, I have thought up one new weapon for our international man of mystery.

My idea is The Whittler. It's a far smaller alternative to the Butterfly Knife, and unlike its infamous older brother, The Whittler can NOT backstab. However, it has one distinct advantage over all of the Spy's weapons: It works when cloaked, and won't break your disguise if used undercover. This is great if you see some ignited enemy retreating while you skulk around his base. You just know his health has to be low. So you trigger your cloak, sneak up while he's distracted by the flames, and finish him off with a quick slice. Then simply sneak away, undetected, with no evidence of your presence except the misplaced corpse. The Whittler would help make the Spy more of a team player and less of a lone wolf, reflecting the word "Team" in the game's title.

Of course, to go along with this new weapon, you'll need some achievements to unlock it. Here are a few I thought up:

Thanks For Keeping Your Back Still: Backstab 15 snipers while they're looking through the scope of their rifle
Secret Agent Man: Sneak into an enemy base, grab the intelligence, and successfully bring it back to your base without dying.
FYI I Am A Spy: Backstab an enemy Medic that has healed you in the current life.
Sneaky Medicine: Have a total of 10,000 health points healed by enemy Medics and dispensers.
Malpractice: While disguised as a Medic, backstab an enemy that is calling for a Medic.
Is Anyone Keeping Track Of My Idiots Killed? Stab!: Backstab five enemy Scouts in one life
Deconstructive Reconnaissance: Sap and destroy ten enemy buildings in one life
Lunch Break: Backstab an enemy Heavy that's eating a Sandvich


The Soldier's one of the most formidable foes on the battlefield, but his slow rockets and inaccurate shotgun make him practically useless at long range. To help better balance this army vet, I propose Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie Maggot Killing Rocket Thingy (Or IBTWMKRT for short...ish). The IBTWMKRT would fire much smaller and weaker rockets than the standard rocket launcher, but they would be twice as fast as those chunky slowpokes of the battlefield (And I'm not talking about the Heavy). Also, rocket jumps would only go up half as high with the IBTWMKRT.

Another suggestion I have is an Assault Rifle to replace his Shotgun. I play as Soldier more than any other class, but I can never make much effective use of the Shotgun. It's far too close range for my play style, and when I do find myself face to face with an enemy I can never manage to hit the bugger. So, instead of a Shotgun with a six-round clip with an incredibly slow firing rate, I'm proposing an Assault Rifle with a 20-30 rounds clip and a rapid firing rate. Of course, everything has its downside, and the Assault Rifle's troubles lie in strength and accuracy. Each round does a far smaller amount of damage than the Shotgun, instead being somewhere just above the Sniper's SMG. Also, its accuracy makes it even less useful at long range than the Shotgun. Still, it's far more handy in those tense combat situations where your enemies are too close, numerous and erratic to choose a good target without killing yourself. Just fire away and hope you hurt something!

With all updates must come new achievements, so here are a few I thought up for the Soldier:

Bullet-Time For A Photo-Op: Fire a rocket, then taunt while the rocket impacts and kills an enemy
Gravedigger: Kill 5 enemies with your shovel
I Don't Call Shotgun: Use the Assault Rifle to kill an enemy Soldier wielding the Shotgun
King of Spades: Kill 15 enemies with your shovel
Blast Off: Kill an enemy with the splash damage from a rocket jump


The Engineer sadly looks to be the last class that will be receiving an update, but that doesn't mean we can't speculate. All over the internet people comically refer to the phrases "Spy's sapping my Sentry!" and "Spy's sapping my Dispenser!". After all, these two buildings commonly go hand-in-hand. Now, what if that were to be taken one step further?

What I'm proposing is a Sentry-Dispenser hybrid, a... Dispentry, if you will. The Dispentry would replace both the Sentry and Dispenser on the build menu, lowering the engineer's selectable buildings to three from four. The Dispenser part of the Dispentry would supply the Sentry half with metal, always replenishing its supply of ammunition as it's used. Of course, this would mean that the Dispentry would distribute metal to allies at a lower rate, making it less useful on the front lines. Also limiting its effectiveness in the thick of the battle would be the fact that the Dispentry can only be upgraded to level 2, slightly increasing the firepower of the Sentry and the metal distribution rate of the Dispenser.

The bright side to all of this, in addition to the aforementioned Sentry ammunition supply, would be that the Dispentry would have an incredibly high HP, more than that of a level 2 Sentry and a level 2 Dispenser combined when upgraded. Also, it takes two sappers to destroy a Dispentry, one for each half. If the enemy Spy can only reach one half of the Dispentry, only that part of it will be disabled, and it will not take damage. If, for example, the Spy saps the Dispenser part but not the Sentry, the Dispentry would cease to distribute ammunition to the Sentry as well as metal and health to allies, but the Sentry half would remain fully operational. One downside to this is that the Engineer would also need to have access to both ends of the Dispentry in order to destroy the attached sappers. A lot of thought has to go into placing this! The intended purpose of the Dispentry would be to allow the Engineer to leave his buildings alone more confidently, going elsewhere to repair his Teleporter entrances and exits, as well as help out elsewhere in the battle. Of course, the Engineer isn't all that helpful when it comes to person-to-person combat, but hey, maybe one of the other unlockables would help balance that out a bit.

Of course, we can't leave this good ol' boy out of the achievement-farming goodness, so here's a few achievement ideas for the Engineer:

Preventative Maintenance: Kill 20 disguised enemy spies
No Boom For You: Destroy 50 sticky bombs within damage-inflicting distance of your buildings
Close Call, Pardner: Whack a building with your wrench within a second of it receiving damage that would have otherwise destroyed it
Worth Celebrating: Get a kill with your Sentry/Dispentry while dancing
Amateur Marksman: Kill an enemy Sniper with your Pistol
Sneaking In The Back Way: Build a Teleporter exit in the enemy's base
Makeshift Elevator: Suspend an enemy in mid-air with your Sentry's rapid-fire bullets.

So then, that's three new weapons and a new building. Not bad for a bit of brainstorming here and there, huh? What do you think of my ideas? Also, what are some unlockables you've thought up, if any? Let the world know in the comments section, or in this forum thread!

...maggots!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The 2008 Golden Duck Awards

401st post: Slightly less notable than the 400th. Also, this article consists only of this year's games that I played, so if there's another game out there with a title more reflective of flatulence I sure haven't played it (Although I kinda wish I did).


As the year comes to a close, it's time to take a look back at all the games of 2008 and figure out which ones are worthy of mentioning once again in all sorts of feeble, irrelevant little categories. Feeble and irrelevant... Yep, that's One Duck's Opinion, alright!

Best Game With a Title That Sounds Like a Kids' Movie

I can imagine walking into some shady flea market in the depths of China and seeing Professor Layton and the Curious Village sticking out of a pile of bootleg DVDs. Of course, there'd be one hell of a garbled Engrish description on the back... "Open movie, Professor Layton and his young assistant Luke driving the request of the town of St. mysterious widow of the late Baron Lady Dahlia Reinhold. Baron has remained in his last will, who solved the mystery of the Golden Apple will inherit the fate of Baron, some people attempt and failures."

Come to think of it, Professor Layton and the Curious Village would make a good animated film. The art's fantastic, the storyline is solid, and all of its amazing puzzles would translate well to on-screen head-scratchers. Nothing can compare to how it is as a game, though, with its many mind-bending puzzles, exploration elements and investigative segments. Professor Layton is surely a great game all around, even if it the title does make it sound like it belongs in a Chinese flea market bargain bin.

Best Nintendo Game That Europe Actually Got Before North America

Nintendo's well-known for frequently giving the shaft to our European friends. Star Fox 64, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and even the DS Lite all launched in Europe last out of all three major regions, and these few examples are just the tip of the iceberg. It's no surprise that everyone was amazed at Europe receiving Mario Kart Wii only one day after Japan, and nearly two weeks before North America. This may not sound like such a big deal, but ask any European how they felt about waiting for Brawl and prepare to see the tears flow.

Now the tables turn and Europe begins to lord it over us for a good thirteen days. They had every right to do so, what with Mario Kart Wii's amazing track design, so-far-unmatched-on-the-Wii online play, and perfect motion controls. I suppose we had it coming after how loudly we loved Brawl...

Best Sequel With a Change of Main Character

Every Ace Attorney fan had already come to love the story of Phoenix Wright, the rookie defense lawyer who always claimed victory over even the most unfair odds. So when it was announced that Mr. Wright wouldn't be wearing the title of attorney in the fourth game people were understandably upset. Despite all our feelings of dread and our reluctance to love the new lead character, Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney still managed to make a big splash in the realm of law-based gaming.

One place Apollo Justice really managed to shine was in the graphics department. With the DS being so many times stronger than the Game Boy Advance, far more advanced sprite animations, backgrounds, and even 3D imagery became possible here. Like the bonus fifth chapter in Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, all of Apollo Justice took advantage of the DS' unique abilities to further enhance the gameplay experience, using the touchscreen for everything from taking fingerprints to pouring plaster to copy a footprint in the mud. And of course, there's no forgetting using the microphone to shout "Objection!". However, unlike many witness testimonies in the game, I have no objections to Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney.

Best Reminder That Life Could Be Worse

First you drop your morning latte, then you step in a mud puddle, and then you barely miss the bus on your way home. You're life couldn't be any worse, right? Well, imagine you instead drop your handgun, got splattered by Boomer bile, then barely miss the helicopter out of this hellhole. Sure sounds a lot worse, huh? This moment of putting life into perspective was brought to you by Left 4 Dead.

From Valve, the company quickly becoming my favourite developer in the business, Left 4 Dead is a new take on zombie games: It's all co-op. The "4" in the title refers to the player's squad, a group of four survivors of the zombie apocalypse. Only by working together can these four survive the seemingly endless waves of zombies of all shapes, sizes and abilities, from the common "horde" zombie, all the way up to the bone-chilling Witch. With rapid-fire clouds of zombies always pouring in from every direction, and each game being different due to the innovative AI Director, Left 4 Dead isn't just a reminder that life could be worse; It's also one hell of a game.

Best Way to Beat the Crap Out of Your Friends Without Getting the Police Involved

Fireballs, bombs, flying jump-kicks, magical blades, and many other objects that defy definition are just some of the weapons available in your Super Smash Bros. Brawl arsenal. Thanks to this game, now you can ignite, blow up, mangle, and altogether destroy your friends without those pesky police getting in the way.

After many months of waiting, wishing and speculating, the world finally got its hands on Super Smash Bros. Brawl this year. With by far the biggest roster yet, an insane amount of different stages and the conversion of just about every former mode into a mini-game made Brawl into one of this year's most amazing titles. Okay, so the online aspect blew massive chunks, but I still hold that Smash Bros. (Like many other games) is best played with your friends in the same room. When it comes to beating the crap out of your friends with the help of the Wii, Super Smash Bros. Brawl is second only to clonking them over the head with the console itself.

Best Indicator That the Apocalypse Might Be Kinda Cool

Whenever I envision a post-apocalyptic world, it usually looks a lot like End of Evangelion, with a red-coloured skies, seas of nothing, and rubble from former proud structures. Usually one figure stands along among it all, speechless at what they're seeing. It's quite the bleak, saddening image. However, that's not the case in Advance Wars: Days of Ruin! Sure, meteors blotted out the sun, but there's tanks and explosions and stuff! Hooray apocalypse!

Advance Wars: Days of Ruin takes the happy-go-lucky attitude of the first three Advance Wars games and thrusts it into the far-flung future of Armageddon. 90% of the world's population has been wiped out, and the remaining few struggle to survive with limited resources. Of course, just about every last shred of the world's law died with those who upheld it, and now anarchy reins. War is everywhere, and the game follows the story of one troop as he joins a brigade and begins trying to bring the world back to normal. The same award-winning gameplay from the rest of the series returns, bringing with it a few more units and a selection of new gameplay elements. If I had a choice as to how the world would end, I'd surely pick the Days of Ruin version. I'll take tanks and bombers over puddles of people any day!

Best Reason to Get Your Rabies Shot

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! Time to head on down to the clinic and get my inoculations up to date! I mean, seriously, if I lived in a town with a raccoon shopkeeper, a dog hairstylist and a hedgehog seamstress, I'd probably get the heck out of there before finding out which of the squirrels is rabid. In the happy, care-free land of Animal Crossing, though, we need not worry about booster shots. Good thing, too, or else I'd have more puncture wounds than Hellraiser.

In Animal Crossing: City Folk, there is no real point or goal. The player can just do things as they want, when they want, living a nice, calming secondary life with friendly humanoid animals. Buying furniture, upgrading the house, competing in fishing tournaments... Okay, so it's the exact same thing as the other two games. Same or not, though, get your rabies shots just to be sure. I don't trust the look in K.K. Slider's eye...

Best Game With a Title Reminiscent of Flatulence

No more really needs to be said here.

LostWinds is a unique game in that the player controls two characters at once: A young boy, Toku, and the wind spirit, Enril. The two work in tandem, with Toku being controlled by the analog stick, and Enril taking the role of the Wii remote's pointer. Simply point, click and drag, and a gust of wind will blow along the line you drew. Wind is key to solving just about every puzzle in the game, from fanning coals into a fire to kick-starting a windmill. LostWinds is certainly a great game, even if its name does remind me of methane clouds.

And so end the first ever Golden Duck Awards, giving useless, fictitious trophies to random video games I played. Can you think of some inane and utterly pointless awards you'd like to give to some of this year's video games? Feel free to let your ideas be heard in either the comment section, or this forum thread.

Snowed in? Game on!

Hey, 400th post. How about that.


The wind howls, the snow gathers, the temperature plummets... It's Winter, alright. So what's there to do when the windrows are taller than you and it's nigh on impossible to leave the house? Game, of course! Here's a selection of games sure to make the time fly as the snow falls.

Picross DS
I play some Picross every night before I go to bed, and it's led to me staying up far too late on more than once occasion. Five minutes turns to twenty, one more puzzle turns into three, and before you know it, the sun's coming up. It's also a great game to escape from the cold of Winter, doing puzzles that turn out to be pictures of sunny beaches, fairy tales, or sporting events. If there's ever been a more pleasant way to escape to another world via a puzzle game I sure haven't played it.

Team Fortress 2

I'm sure you're all well aware of my Team Fortress 2 addiction, but even casual players of this game have to agree that this, too, is a great escape from the cold bite of Winter. Like Picross DS, one round quickly turns to several, and the minutes begin to fly just as fast as the bullets. Furthermore, almost every official Team Fortress 2 map is in a scorching-hot desert scene, quite the opposite of the frigid, icy reality outside your window. Team Fortress 2 is fantastic for escaping the cold, blustery truth of Winter, even more so when a Pyro sets you on fire. I think for the remainder of the season I'll secretly be a little thankful to every enemy Pyro I encounter. There's no warmer moment in Team Fortress 2 than being engulfed in flame!

Mario Kart Wii

Mario Kart Wii, with its many modes and easy-to-connect online play, is a surefire way to while away those dull Winter afternoons. At first you sign up for just a few races, but then you're sucked into playing a veritable grand prix against people you've never met. Mario Kart Wii also serves as an excellent escape from the cold and snow drifts of Winter, with many tracks on sunny beaches, as well as more than a few surrounded by lava. I doubt there's anything hotter than sitting next to a pit of molten rock!

...okay, nothing except being in said pit. But then you'd die, and that's hardly ideal at this time of year... Or any other time of year. Anyways, just be sure to stay away from circuits like Sherbet Land and DK Summit, and you'll be fine.

Portal

While Portal's story may be only two hours long, the challenges and large selection of player-made maps do wonders to keep you busy while the windrows build up on the sidewalks. Not only that, the story mode and all its hilarious quotes are well worth experiencing many times over, instantly turning your two hour time investment into four or more. Also, there's one significantly warm part of Portal towards the end that I dare not spoil for those yet to play, but I think the words "4000 degrees Kelvin" should clue in veterans as to just what I'm talking about. Nothing like a "victory candescence" to take your mind off the twenty-below temperatures outside!

So then, there you have it: Four games great for whiling away the cold Winter months, as well as escaping the freezing-cold temperatures out there at this time of year. Let the days darken and let the snow fall, we'll stay inside and play!

What do you think of my choices? Also, what are some games you think are great for passing the time and going somewhere warmer? Feel free to let the world know in the comment section, and/or this forum thread. That's right, I said "and/or". Do both... If you think you're crazy enough.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

A small assortment of Team Fortress 2 rants


I've been playing Team Fortress 2 a lot lately. And by a lot, I mean way more than I should be. During this time, while I've had a whole lot of fun, I've also run into quite a few annoyances. No, not any sorts of glitches or faults of the developer. I've run into a lot of problems with the other players. People being stupid, being jerks, or otherwise just not being fun to play with at all. The following article goes out to all these people.

First of all, y'all gotta stop pushing people off the teleporters. If someone gets to the teleporter before you do, leave them. They got to it first. It's their right to use it. You can darn well wait a few seconds for it to recharge, or just walk to the battle, okay?

Relating to the above, if you're a scout, for the love of all things good, don't use the freaking teleporters! For crying out loud, you're the fastest class by far! Leave the other, slower players to the teleporters, and hoof it! In the time it takes you to run there, the person who got the teleporter will already be there, doubling the fighting power at that moment. If you steal it, all that happens is one measly little scout gets there, while some other player waits and waits for the teleporter to recharge because it would take to long to walk. Not only is it a pain in the ass to have a teleporter meant for you used by a scout, it also hurts the team. So don't do it.

And would it kill you not to use such disgusting sprays in game? Good god, I've seen some stuff on the walls of pl_goldrush I wouldn't even show to my worst enemy. Keep your sick, twisted sense of "humour" to yourself and play the freaking game instead of disturbing all of your teammates.

If you're a spy, don't disguise as a scout. Ever. You move slower than a scout, you can't double-jump like a scout, and you can't use the bat like every other scout does. It's the worst disguise ever. Stop doing it.

A microphone can be a great tool in battle, allowing you to quickly pass information onto other players; and if you want to say something funny, go ahead, we all love a good laugh. But come on, people; Stop being racist, sexist, crass jerks. Stop screaming into your microphones. Stop blasting crappy music over them. And for crying out loud, if your microphone sucks, stop freaking using it. I don't need static and garbled speech blasting into my ears, thanks. Yes, I realize I can mute you with a few clicks, but I'd rather focus on fighting than pause and fiddle around just to stop some pre-pubescent idiot from swearing at me.

We've all heard of sore losers, but there's also such a thing as a sore winner. Yeah, your team won three rounds in a row; That's no reason to act as if everyone on the other team is the worst freaking player in history. And if someone kills you, don't scream obscenities at them. You died in a video game. You'll respawn. Calm down, man. Oh, and if your team is kicking ass, don't go "YEAH WE ROCK" if you're not even in the top ten on a twelve person team. You're hardly helping, pal, don't steal all the credit. Seriously, I've seen people with two points acting as if they're carrying the whole freaking team on their back.

Finally, quit using aim-enhancing programs. You aren't kidding anyone when you use one. You suck at Team Fortress 2 and you need a program to make you any good. It annoys everybody, enemy and ally alike. Turn off the bot, get some practice, and darn well play like you should. Can't get a kill like that? Practice some more. Believe me, it's a whole lot better than sitting back and letting the computer do all the work.

If you're reading this and any of the above applies to you, please take my words into consideration next time you play. We'd all appreciate it.

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Thursday, November 13, 2008

Garry's Mod Scenes: A Day at the Theatre

I feel kinda bad for backing out of updates so much lately, even under these circumstances. I hope you enjoy this pseudo-apology in the form of a new type of article, Garry's Mod Scenes.


I was just messing around with Garry's Mod a few days back, practicing my ragdoll posing and messing with the finger and face posers. After posing one character, I decided to make a whole scene. I call it "A Day at the Theatre".


First off, here's an overview of the scene. After I finished these I realized I probably should have made it in the "dark room" for a more authentic movie scene... Oh well. I suppose it's just an eerily well-lit theatre, then. And, uh... Mind ignoring the cracks in the wall? I was more focused on the ragdolls than anything else, so can you do the same for viewing the scene?


Alyx sure isn't happy... I suppose it's safe to say that she doesn't return the Vortigaunt's feelings. I mean, sure, some Vorts saved her life, but I think a simple "thanks" would suffice for that...


Oh that poor Vortigaunt... He'll never get any, will he? I suppose I should be thankful for this. I'm in no hurry to see a traditional Vortigaunt mating ritual.


I think it's safe to say that Dr. Breen isn't enjoying the film very much (He threw that bag in the first pic, and that can looks like it's next). What's not to like about this?:


Maybe it's just me, but political documentaries are kinda cool. I think Breen's more of a war movie fan.


Poor Eli just can't catch a break, can he? First he loses his leg, and now he ends up having his film ruined. What's next? Is his popcorn soggy?


And through it all, Barney's catching up on his "Z"s. This is actually the first ragdoll I posed, followed by the realization that the chair setup resembled a movie theatre. Barney made it all possible!


I hope y'all enjoyed this little scene I whipped up. I'm by no means a professional at this sort of thing, so I'm sure some Garry's Mod veterans will find a few things wrong here.


Lamaar approves, though!

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Thursday, November 6, 2008

Random Babbling 4: It's been a long time babbling

I've really not been feeling like myself lately, and I've had a lot of trouble concentrating on much of anything. My mom thinks it's the change of seasons affecting me, but I'm really not sure. Anywho, I can't concentrate enough for a real article tonight, so here's a few random things I feel like saying.

-There are now an additional two big reasons to buy Onechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers, and they are both in this picture. Can't find them? Here's a hint: Boobs. Hey, sex sells.

-It's really funny killing people and stealing cars in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas while listening to the in-game country radio. Nothing like running down cops while listening to "Heeeeeeey good lookin'... Whaaaaaaaat you got cookin'?"

-Garry's Mod is infinitely replayable. Just when I think I've seen it all, I log on today to find Father Grigori spinning in mid air, some random junk flying out of his chest and a whole lot more flying out his ass. Gotta love that Garry's Mod.

-The election happened. Obama won. This is awesome. That's all I'll say here about it.

-I suppose I should be scared that a big-eyed bobblehead for Destroy All Humans: Big Willy Unleashed stares at me while I sleep, but then I just pull the covers over my head and try to ignore it.

-Can you all stop complaining that we haven't seen the next Mario yet? We haven't had more than one main Mario game on a Nintendo home console since the days of the SNES, and I doubt that'll be changing now.

-As for Zelda Wii, give it until at least 2010. If it ain't out by Christmas 2010, then you can start whining.

-My Nintendo 64 died on me, and now I want to play Ocarina of Time again. My luck blows.

-Other than Garry's Mod and Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, I really haven't been playing anything lately. I've been messing around in Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga a bit, too, but not quite enough to be considered "playing". Dammit, Animal Crossing: City Folk, come out already!

-Wikipedia: The bane of my attention span. Go there to look up one thing, then end up on a page about Al Bundy. I'm not sure how it happened either. Heck, I didn't even like that show very much.

Well, I suppose that's it for tonight. Sorry for the lackluster updates, folks. I'll try for something more notable on Friday. Until then, y'all stay healthy and such.

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