Sony Officially Unveils the PSP 3D

Today Sony pulled back the curtains on their newest creation, the PSP 3D. I was lucky enough to grab an interview with a spokesperson for the company, Soniraji Osuteshon, where I was allowed to ask any question I wanted about this revolutionary new product.

ODDLY News: Before we get into the real interview, I'd first like to know a little more about how the PSP 3D actually works.

Soniraji Osuteshon: The PSP 3D utilizes solar radiation to power its light-speed quantum energy core, which superheats the air within three inches of the screen's surface, causing spatial distortion and creating the illusion of 3D imagery. It also doubles as a portable barbecue.

ODDLY: I'm just going to pretend I understood that and move along. From the few words I actually understood, I've come to the conclusion that this sounds incredibly dangerous to handle. What sort of testing has been done to ensure the safety of the player?

SO: We haven't really had a change to test the PSP 3D just yet, as we only finished up the design last night.

ODDLY: Last night?!

SO: Yes. As you've no doubt noticed, there isn't really much of an R&D department at Sony. It's pretty much just a bunch of people sitting at computers, constantly refreshing Nintendo news sites waiting for something new and interesting to be announced. Whenever Nintendo announces a new product, we jump right into the development stage, building off of whatever was just revealed. The only difference is, this time around, we're beating Nintendo to the punch, as the PSP 3D is slated for release in approximately... Ten minutes.

ODDLY: So soon? And without testing it for consumer safety?

SO: Consumer safety? What does that matter? We've finally managed to beat Nintendo to the finish line, and we're not looking back. The PSP 3D will be released today at 5:00 PM sharp, for the completely reasonable price of $14,000.

ODDLY: F-f-f-fourteen thousand dollars?!

SO: Yes. We at Sony offer luxury versions of the competition's products, and you truly get what you pay for when you invest in our technologies. Whether or not the consumer can actually afford it is none of our concern.

ODDLY: Well, for that price, the PSP 3D had better do a lot more than make things pop out of the screen!

SO: Oh, but it does! The PSP 3D will be twenty times as powerful as the PS3, with graphics becoming even more detailed than reality itself. In order to accommodate all these texture files and high-end models, the PSP 3D will ship with a separate 50TB hard drive and a complementary backpack in which to carry the massive storage device. This unit will allow the storage of up to five PSP 3D games at once. The PSP 3D will also come with seven car batteries, which can be carried around in a shopping cart, also included in the package with the hard drive and backpack. These batteries will allow for up to twelve minutes of gameplay/barbecuing.

ODDLY: But I thought the PSP 3D was powered by solar radiation... Or something?

SO: No, that merely handles the 3D capabilities of the product. This is some high-tech stuff here. No mere pushover like the Sun is capable of powering this kind of horsepower!

ODDLY: Well then, uh... Getting back to the planet Earth for a moment, I've noticed the PSP 3D is nearly identical to the original PSP and its minor hardware revisions. Is there a particular reason for this?

SO: The PSP 3D is visually identical to the PSP for two major reasons. First, it's because we got lazy and just gutted a lot of old PSP units we had sitting around, and second, it creates confusion among the consumers. They might go out in search of a PSP 3D, and see a regular PSP on the shelf, buying it thinking they're getting the newest handheld.

ODDLY: You want to confuse the customers?

SO: Of course! We put out the visually-identical PSP 3D, and the consumer goes out buying a PSP thinking it's the same thing!

ODDLY: You're really banking on the consumer being so foolish?

SO: Yup! Look how well it worked out for the PSP Go!

ODDLY: But the Go sold terri-

SO: LA LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LA LA LA LA LA

ODDLY: I take it our interview is over?

SO: LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

ODDLY: ...I'm just going to leave now.

SO: BUY ONE! BUY FIVE!

The PSP 3D is now on sale at all major electronics retailers for $14,000. Games that actually take advantage of the PSP 3D's abilities have yet to be announced, but are expected to cost between $100 and $500 apiece.

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PSP Go "announced": I am not shaken, nor am I stirred

Consider this a bonus article, as the "announcement" came out halfway through me writing PokéOddities


The next in the line of Sony's Playstation Portable was unexpectedly (For both us and Sony, I'm sure) "announced" today, and it's called the PSP Go. Kind of an awkward name, but I'm currently playing Wii everyday, so I suppose I shouldn't be talking.

Looking at the design of the system, the sliding "control panel" is pretty nice. Helps keep those buttons out of the way, and allows for a nice, compact shape when watching movies. The downside to this, though, is that the screen is out there all the time, just begging to be scratched. If this doesn't ship with some sort of system sleeve of even the flimsiest quality, you can bet there'll be no screen unscratched within a few months of this handheld's release, no matter how carefully it's cared for.

One of the most important parts of a handheld system is how well it fits in the hand. If it's a rough-edged, sharp-cornered brick, it's not going to be staying in a gamer's grip for very long. Of course, the PSP Go is far from this, sporting rounded edges and smooth lines. It's kind of hard to tell from the few images so-far released, but I'd say it won't be uncomfortable, nor incredibly comfortable. Somewhere right in the middle looks to be how the PSP Go will feel.

Speaking of comfort, I see one thing in the above picture I really hoped I wouldn't be seeing in a new PSP; That cursed thumbstick. Not only is it back and not-at-all changed from the original models (As far as I can tell, at least), there's still only one of them. Some argue that this is the case so as to avoid and sort of divide among PSP and PSP Go owners. Without second-analog support, all games will be compatible with all iterations of the handheld. Which makes sense, I guess, except for an important fact about the PSP Go I'll be bringing up in a moment...

Unless the guy in the picture above has incredibly huge hands, the PSP Go is smaller than the PSP by a slight amount. Not in a terribly-significant way, but people do seem to go nuts over the new, smallest version of, well, everything. Oh, us easily won-over consumers...

Despite being smaller, the PSP Go has actually has on-board memory, as opposed to the original models requiring memory sticks for storage. Now users can store all their music, movies and PSP Go games right on the system itself. No, you're not hallucinating; I said "PSP Go games". This brings us to the above-mentioned "important fact" that...

The PSP Go has no UMD slot. At all. There is no way for the games from the original PSP to be playable on the Go ("On the Go": Slogan, anyone?). All PSP Go games will only be available as downloads from the system's branch of the Playstation Store. Planning on upgrading from your old PSP to this new model? Might want to keep the old one on hand, unless you plan on re-buying all your games digitally.

That point there, to me, is the PSP Go's biggest flaw. I don't believe the world is ready for a game system that's entirely digital in the way of purchasing software. Some may mention the iPhone as an argument, but really, that's the iPhone. No iPhone game can compare to PSP software in complexity and depth, not to mention price. What does this say about PSP Go software? One of three things (With 1 being the most probable, and 3 being the least):

1. PSP Go software will be every bit as complex and deep as that of the original PSP, and will cost the full, store shelf price of $50 apiece, or...
2. PSP Go software will be far more basic than that of the original PSP, and generally cost less than $30 apiece, or...
   
3. PSP Go Software will be every bit as complex and deep as that of the original PSP, but will be cheaper, rarely costing more than $30 apiece.
   

Now then, why did I arrange them in that order of probability? Simple: Sony loves their cash. I can honestly see them releasing only crummy little WiiWare-level games more easily than I can imagine them charging less than premium for their software. While I may think that downloaded games should cost less than retail, I'm not the cash-monster that is Sony. Then again, they're not against taking losses (See: PS3 launch price as opposed to PS3 production cost as of launch), but still, I'm not exactly seeing it happening.

Looking at all the PSP Go has to offer... I think I'd more gladly buy an original PSP than jump on this bandwagon, which means a lot considering how unimpressed I am with the handheld line as it is. Sorry, Sony, but when it comes to my handheld entertainment, I think I'll continue to "Go" elsewhere.

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The best sidekicks in the business

Main characters get all the breaks. From Batman to Sherlock Holmes, all of the little guys are lesser known and far less popular. Robin and Watson deserve to be in the limelight, don't you think? Just as there are sidekicks in television shows and books, there are too sidekicks in video games. And now is their time to shine.

Ezlo

Game: The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap (GBA)

Ezlo is one bizarre little creature. He takes the form of a green hat with a duck-like head, and he can't get around all that well. Thusly, he rides along on Link's head. Unfortunately for the green-wearing hero, Ezlo often leaves crumbs in Link's hair, pecks at Link's head (As seen above) and routinely berates the lad for not walking fast enough or being too short.

If Ezlo's such a bother, why keep him around? Mainly for the fact that he holds the power to shrink Link down to an incredibly small scale. By standing on certain rocks, jars, tree stumps or panels, Link can shrink and enter the world of the Minish. The Minish (Also called Picori by humans) are a very diminutive race of mouse-like people. They are the stuff of legends, and are rarely seen. In fact, many people believe the Minish are nothing but folklore, and simply tell the story to their children as a fairy tale.

Link can also take advantage of his new-found shrinking abilities to enter tunnels and holes far too small for him to fit through at his normal size. Sometimes entire dungeons take place in an area no larger than Link's full size!

Ezlo is certainly important to completing the adventure, and his story unfolds nicely throughout the game. Although he may start out looking like nothing but a silly, duck-billed hat, he later becomes a core part of the game's story. Don't dismiss Ezlo as a throwaway sidekick.

Daxter

Games: Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy (PS2), Jak II (PS2), Jak III (PS2), Jak X: Combat Racing (PS2), Daxter (PSP)

Out of all the sidekicks on this list, Daxter has appeared in the most games by far. From Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy, all the way to his own, self-titled spin-off on the PSP, Daxter gets a surprising amount of credit for being a sidekick. Nonetheless, I don't feel he gets all he deserves.

Daxter is an Ottsel: A bizarre mix of an otter and a weasel. He is turned into an Ottsel at the beginning of the first game, and changing him back into a human becomes the main focus of the adventure. Sadly, Daxter never does get turned back into a human, as he's still an Ottsel in all the other games. Eventually he comes to grips with the fact that he'll probably never turn back to normal, and eventually accepts his new, smaller, fuzzier form. Although he does miss wearing pants.

Why is Daxter such an amazing sidekick? First and foremost, he's downright hilarious! Even as an Ottsel he's as funny and quick-witted as ever. Good thing, too, as Jak doesn't really like to talk much until Jak II.

Players will often control Daxter instead of Jak throughout the series, and these sequences are really quite fun. Running around as an Ottsel in a human's world is really something, especially since he's all but defenseless against the super-sized foes that are all-too common.

Daxter's a great character for so many reasons, and I don't think I can say much more without spoiling the entire trilogy for you. Let's just say that Daxter's new form isn't all that bad after all.

Midna

Game: The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (Wii, Gamecube)

And of course, how could I forget Midna? The mysterious, cat-like creature that hides in Link's shadow throughout most of Twilight Princess is an incredibly well-written and designed character.

Link and Midna first meet when the young Hylian is turned into a wolf, captured and thrown into a prison in the dark and foreboding Twilight Realm. She laughs at the pitiful canine that sits before her, taunting him through the iron bars of his cell. She tells him that if he can escape his cell, she'll help him get out of the prison. So Link breaks off his chains and squeezes through a break in the bars. Midna lives up to her word, and kindly escorts the boy-turned-wolf back outside.

From then on, Midna lives in Link's shadow (Literally), popping up to give him hints and command him around. See, in return for setting Link free, Midna expects the young man to run some errands for her. She needs Link to get her a mysterious power that somehow relates to the Twilight Realm that's slowly engulfing Hyrule.

Although she seems to treat Link like a slave at first, Midna slowly grows to respect the warrior and even thanks him for doing these things for her. It's one unlikely friendship, that's for sure.

What makes Midna awesome has to be her amazing powers. She can teleport through solid walls, disappear into shadows and (Later on in the game) turn Link into a wolf at will.

Also, Midna just has a great attitude. She's the kind of person who can only be described as a lovable jerk. She makes fun of Link all the time, but you can always tell that, deep down, she really cares.

Finally, Midna has some incredible strength hidden within, but if I went into detail here, well, that just wouldn't be fair, now would it? She can do some serious damage, and that's all I'm going to say.

Okay then! A group of sidekicks finally get their due! It's only fair, really. Often sidekicks contribute just as much to the game as the main character, if not more. Ezlo, Daxter and Midna are just a handful of the many amazing sidekicks out there, and I'll be sure to give them their due in future installments. Until then, keep on gaming, folks!

The Duck Has Spoken.

DS vs PSP: Casualties and victories in the handheld war

It's been over two years since Sony's PSP hit the market, effectively starting the current handheld war with Nintendo's DS. This article shall chronicle what is most likely the most brutal handheld war yet.



When the Nintendo DS was first unveiled at E3 2004, many people thought Nintendo had finally and truly lost it. Touch screen? Microphone? All of this was so weird.

When the PSP was unveiled, however, people loved it! Music, movies, amazing graphics, web browsing, it had it all! People truly believed that Nintendo had finally been dethroned as the leader of handhelds.

November 19th came and went. The DS sold a decent amount of systems, but there wasn't much quality software available. The best game there (By many opinions) was Super Mario 64 DS, and even that wasn't totally spectacular.

The PSP's launch line-up of games included hits such as Wipeout Pure, Metal Gear Ac!d and Lumines. Sony managed to ship a record-breaking 10 million PSPs by October 21st of the same year. Things were surely looking grim for Nintendo.

That is, until August 2005, when Nintendo launched their secret weapon, Nintendogs. To call this game a hit would be a hideous understatement. 250,000 units were sold in the first week of availability on the North American market. Needless to say, this also caused many DS consoles to fly off the shelves as well. In Japan, DS sales increased by over 400% the week the dog-simulator came out! This was the beginning of Nintendo's turn-around.

Another major event for Nintendo occurred a few months later, with their first foray into online gaming, Mario Kart DS. Many game sites, such as IGN and GameSpot gave this game a score of 90% or higher. In January 2006, Nintendo announced that Mario Kart DS had sold over 1 million copies in North America alone. Another DS game going online at the same time was Tony Hawk's American Sk8land, by Vicarious Visions. Tony Hawk's first DS outing was well received, garnering a score of 8.8/10 from IGN, with a press average of 8.5/10 and a user rating of 8.7/10. Sadly, despite the glowing reviews, this game sold rather poorly.

Where was the PSP in all this? Well, it's kind of hard to say. The PSP wasn't really well advertised after it's launch, and I don't hang around any PSP news sites. This is one place where Sony made a mistake: Not enough advertising. Sure, you'd see the occasional bus stop ad and maybe a Mexican fuzzball commercial or two, but these didn't do much for the product. It seems like Sony felt the PlayStation name alone was enough to make it sell.

From that point on, the Nintendo DS did nothing but pick up steam. The amazingly unique Brain Age software was released in early 2006, and it gathered some decent scores and sales. This, like Nintendogs, helped draw in non-gamers to the Nintendo DS.

But that doesn't mean Nintendo was ignoring the core gamer! Oh, no no no! Some great games for the more hardcore set were released around that time, such as Metroid Prime Hunters, Mario VS Donkey Kong 2, Tetris DS and Star Fox Command. Nintendo had truly mastered drawing in all kinds.

Another boon to the DS was released to the public in mid-2006 in the form of the redesigned Nintendo DS Lite. Lighter and brighter, the Nintendo DS Lite was 2/3 the size of the original model, and sported 4 different brightness settings, all of which much brighter than the one brightness setting of the first DS. The screen was also much clearer, and the stylus was much thicker and slightly longer, too, allowing for a much firmer grip. The DS Lite was a huge hit in Japan when it was released in March, being sold out for over a month afterwards! Demand was also very high in North America, but not proportionately as high as in Nintendo's home country.

The PSP had fallen on harder times around then, though. UMD movie support was rapidly decreasing, and the big name games seemed to be coming further and further apart. There were a few spots of ingenious gaming, such as Locoroco and EXIT, but the PSP still saw a larger assortment of half-baked ports than anything else.

And that brings us to the present. How are things standing as of now? As of April 2007, Nintendo has announced that the DS and the DS Lite combined had sold over 40 million units worldwide. Most of these sales were in Japan (16 million), followed by the United States (Nearly 12 million) and the rest of the world (About 12 1/2 million).

According to the website VGChartz.com, the PSP has sold over 21.5 million units worldwide, less than half than the DS/DS Lite. Most units were sold in North America (8.3 million), followed by Japan (Nearly 5.6 million). The cumulative sales for the rest of the world amount to about 7.75 million.

The best selling games for the DS and the PSP are Nintendogs (All versions combined) and Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories, respectively.

How are things looking in the future? In the DS' case, there are many high-profile games on the horizon, such as Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles, Dragon Quest IX, The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass, Planet Puzzle League, Phoenix Wright 3, Sonic Rush Adventure and Final Fantasy IV.

The PSP's lineup isn't quite so fleshed out, however. There are a few high-demand games such as a Final Fantasy VII spin-off and Locoroco 2, as well as a few rumoured titles such as God of War PSP, but not much else.

So, in the end, there is a pretty clear-cut winner in this war, and it's name is Nintendo! Sony put up a pretty good fight, really, especially since this is their first ever handheld. But, ultimately, it wasn't enough to take away Nintendo's everlasting handheld superiority.

So I say good luck to Sony with their next endeavor! I hope to see something great from them in the coming years. If done right, they could really do some damage to Nintendo's handheld army. Time will tell, I suppose.

The Duck Has Spoken.