Showing posts with label Pokémon Week. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pokémon Week. Show all posts

Friday, June 27, 2008

Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time review

As the back of the game case says, "The contents of Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time/Darkness are almost the same.". Thus, this review applies to both. But, since I bought Explorers of Time, the review will be labeled as such.

Developer: Chunsoft
Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: April 20th, 2008
ESRB Rating: E for Everyone
ESRB Notes: Mild Cartoon Violence


Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Blue Rescue Team was the 100th game to be added to my collection. It was more than a milestone, though. It was also a damn good game. Over a year later, sequels are released in the forms of Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time and Explorers of Darkness. Do the new games measure up to the old? Or is it a case of a sequel falling short of the source material's excellence?

When it comes to the majority of Pokémon game releases, storyline isn't usually a strong point. It's often just "Be the best and catch 'em all!", and little more. The Mystery Dungeon games, however, have comparatively deep and interesting plots. Note the word "comparatively". This isn't exactly Dostoevsky, but it is a step above the challenge to be a Pokémon Master. It all begins with the you washing ashore on a beach. When you awake, you have no absolutely no memory of anything whatsoever, save for two things: Your name, and the fact that you're a human. Or rather, that you were a human, because for some unknown reason, you're now a Pokémon! So there you are, a person with almost no memories, in a land you don't know, in the body of a Pokémon. How can you get back? Why are you a Pokémon? Who will feed your cat while you're away? The answers to most of these questions are answered throughout the storyline (I guess Fluffy just ate your couch or something), accompanied with a few slightly predictable twists here and there. Over all, though, a good story, and the last little bit almost made me cry a teeny bit (But then again, I'm a real sap).

"Oh, no, I'm fine... Mind passing me my tibia? I think it landed over there..."

The personification of the Pokémon was something that really impressed me. Just imagine any Pokémon out there, try and picture what it's personality would be like... And that's exactly how it is in Explorers of Time. Bidoof's just as stupid and useless as you'd assume, and Sunflora is such a stereotypical early-teens girl that it's almost scary. Really, even the Pokémon who's personalities I'd never even considered smack me in the face with how accurate they are. I'll meet a new Pokémon, watch it talk for a while, and just get this feeling like "Yes. This is how this Pokémon would act if it could speak.". Some really amazing stuff.

The Pokémon you become at the beginning of the game isn't predetermined or random. The game starts with a personality test of sorts. You're hit with a random selection of ten or so questions, and the game determines which Pokémon most accurately reflects your personality. Apparently, I'm a Pikachu. Never saw that coming. Still, pretty cool.

The core gameplay mechanic of the Mystery Dungeon games is quite different from your standard Pokémon title. It still has RPG elements, sure, but it's a dungeon crawler. See, when you wash up on that beach, you're greeted by an exploration team hopeful. He (Or she) gets you to join up with him (Or her) and form your very own exploration team (Which you can name, by the way). From then on, you can take on jobs posted on bulletin boards, and then off you go to the dungeon. A mystery dungeon, as it's called, changes every time you enter it. It will always have the same amount of floors, but each one will change completely if you leave and come back. Furthermore, if you perish within a mystery dungeon, you will be returned to the surface minus several items and all your money. You can save yourself the loss by getting someone to come to your aid, and I'll talk more about that later. Of course, if you want to get to that quickly, you can just hit Ctrl+F, bash in "multiplayer", and click down to the next result. See ya there, Mr. Impatient.

The gameplay is simple, yet fun.


While spelunking, you'll run into many different Pokémon, and almost all of them are hostile. What else can you do but take 'em down? Well, besides run like a disgraceful little exploration team reject, that is. There are three conventional ways of attacking: Throwing at item at an enemy, directly attacking them, or use a special attack. What differentiates a normal attack from a special one? Well, normal attacks are weak, basic little moves that have no special effects whatsoever. Your opponent is damaged, and that's it. The special attacks, however, are just like those you know from the main Pokémon series. Thundershock, Tackle, Water Gun, and many more. The one downside to special attacks is, like in the main games, they can only be used a limited number of times before exhausting all of their Power Points (PP). When all of a move's PP are gone, it's useless until you either get a Max Elixer, die and get revived with a Reviver Seed, or leave the dungeon. Basically, there's some strategy involved, and not only in choosing which move to use. There's also the same four attack limit from the main series, so deciding if increased strength is worth the decreased PP is an important decision to make.

Speaking of attack strength, there really isn't any way to determine if one attack is stronger than the other. There's no strength value or anything assigned to a move like in the main series. Really, the only way to judge how good a move is by its additional effects. Thunderbolt affects all enemies within one tile of the user, while Thundershock only affects one enemy. Okay, so Thunderbolt's better. But if two moves both have the same effects, there's really no way to decide which is better without taking the plunge and trying the new move. And then, if the new move sucks, you gotta pay 500 Pokébucks (Or whatever the currency's called) to get the old move back. I'd kill for a number value telling me if Quick Attack is better than Slam. Well, not really kill... Although maiming is a possibility.

If you're anything like me, you probably have the type alignment table memorized by now. Electric attacks can't harm Rock Pokémon, Normal attacks can't hit Ghost Pokémon, etc... Well, you can forget a few of those, because some changes have been made. There is no longer any such thing as a type resistance that causes an attack to do nothing. So yes, you can Thunderbolt a Graveler and Tackle a Misdreavus. Of course, these attacks are incredibly weak in this situation, but still, they do hurt the formerly impervious foes. They also hurt my brain with the inconsistency... Or maybe that's because it's 3:30 AM and I'm still writing.

Of course, you can always get other members of your exploration team to take over if you come across a type disadvantage. Or rather, you should be able to, but the partner AI in this is borderline brain dead. The standard tactic you can assign to a partner, "Let's go together", makes it so they stick with you as you explore a dungeon. That's nice, but if an Ursaring and three of his buddies start pounding on you, don't expect your team to help you out. See, the problem with the "Let's go together" tactic is that your partners take it a little too strictly. Even if your face is being pounded in, they just stand there until an enemy comes into striking distance. They won't advance on your assailants at all. But that's just the one tactic. They can't all possibly be flawed, can they?

Sadly, they are. Well, some of them are. Out of all the tactics, the only ones you really ever need to use are "Let's go together", "Go after enemies", "Stay here", and "Get out of here!". All the other ones are so useless I can't even remember what they're called. The latter two I just listed work fine, but it's the first two that are the problems. I already went over the masochistic nature of "Let's go together", so I suppose I should describe just what is so terribly wrong with "Go after enemies". Like "Let's go together", this tactic is taken far too seriously by your partners. They will track an enemy until they get close enough to strike, even if it means running all the way to the other side of the floor you're on. And then, when they finally meet and defeat this foe, they just wander around stupidly until you find them again. Looking at the map while this happens is painful, really. The little yellow dot representing your lost partner just dashes around, flying through corridors and screaming through the level's more open areas. Unless you can somehow manage to get in the same room as them or run into your disconnected pal head-on in a corridor, he'll continue to run in circles like a Torchic with its head cut off. Telling it to "Stay here" works, I'm sure, but it's a whole lot of effort to go through just to stop your Kabuto from bolting about like an idiot.

It can be so hard to find good help these days...

The actual missions you take on in these mystery dungeons are varied, yet the same. Sometimes you have to deliver an item, other times you have to find a stranded explorer, and other times you have to take down a wanted criminal. No matter what the mission, though, fulfilling it is basically the same: Go into the dungeon, keep going up/down until you reach the right floor, find target, save/deliver item to/defeat target, leave. There are some story-centric missions that manage to change things up a bit, but other than that, it's just a series of "get there" missions.

But, for some reason, I really don't seem to care. I can keep going to all these different dungeons for days, see the same things in different sprite sets, yet still have fun. It's the thrill of exploring the unknown. The rush of taking on unknown dangers. The fulfillment of saving a lost comrade. And, of course, the pursuit of the rest of the story. So yeah, it's repetitive, but it's fun. If you don't mind a bit of routine, you should be good to go.

Explorers of Time is a rare example of a modern, sprite-based game that actually looks pretty damn good. Each Pokémon has a vast array of poses and animations, from getting hit to charging up to walking. That may not sound by much, but multiply that by 491 and it becomes quite the different story (I say 491 and not 493 because Arceus and Shaymin are absent). Plus, each Pokémon has at least one "portrait" assigned to it. A portrait is what appears when a conversation is taking place, indicating who is talking. In some cases, if the Pokémon talking is startled, happy, mad, or otherwise expressing emotion, the portrait will change to reflect this. So really, there's quite a few graphics for each of the Pokémon in the game. Including sprites and portraits, I'd say there's easily over 5000 graphics for the characters alone.

The main hub town is very colourful and varied in appearance, from the Western extreme of Sharpedo Bluff to the North-Eastern, cliff-side exploration team guild. In contrast to the bright and brilliant hub town is the relatively dark and dismal array of mystery dungeons. There are maybe 20 different sprite sets that the dungeons are crafted from, from beach to cave to forest. I suppose I can't fault it too much, though. The sprite sets do have to be relatively simple for a random dungeon creator, after all.

A few cinematics help tell Explorers of Time's story, often taking advantage of both the DS' screens (As seen both below and in this review's topmost screenshot). To top things off, the Pokémon "portraits" mentioned before are all drawn by Ken Sugimori, primary designer of nearly every one of the first 251 Pokémon. He even illustrated the box cover and the booklet! Yes, I'm a bit of a fan of his, and I'm not afraid to admit it. He's seriously the best of the official Pokémon artists, and having him working on Explorers of Time is icing on this delicious graphical cake.

Still no takers on this beautiful seaside property. I wonder what's turning them away...?

So on the whole, Explorers of Time is a pretty visually pleasing game. A whole whackload of sprites are crammed into that cartridge, and while it may not look much better than the first installment, it's still pretty darn nice-looking.

The audio in Explorers of Time is pretty, well... Basic. There's no Pokémon cries, and I'm pretty sure all the Electric attacks use the same sound of crackling electricity. Actually, it's not so much the sound of crackling electricity as it is kind of a buzz followed by a sort of crashing sound.

The music helps make up for the shortcomings of the sound effects. I commonly get the town music caught in my head, and the tune from in a few of the dungeons pops in every now and then, too. Of course, it happens more often if I'm not pumping K.K. Slider into my ears, but you get the point.

And now, on to the multiplayer aspect... Oh, hello there, Mr. Impatient! Sorry to keep you waiting. Now then, there isn't any actual "direct" multiplayer in Explorers of Time. As I said earlier, if you perish while exploring, you can avoid losing your loot by sending out a call for help. You can try to find a friend locally, or take it online. When online, you can try to track down a registered friend directly, post your distress message on the game's server, or copy down a password. Except for the second method, local is exactly the same but, you know, local. The direct contact and "bulletin board" methods are self-explanatory, but the password version does need a bit of explanation. When using password, you get a long code you can copy down onto a piece of paper or post on a message board. Someone else copies it down, punches it into their game, and goes to rescue you. When they're done, they give you another password which you can enter into your game, and you're saved. It's even possible to thank people with gifts and such if you wish so. Really, this is a pretty cool system they've set up here. I've already found a neat little community that acts just like the exploration team guild in the game. Post your code, they help you out, and it's done. I wouldn't be surprised if there's a dozen or more additional groups just like this dedicated to helping out the less skilled players out there. It's so cool, I almost want to go mess up and die just to get rescued again. Almost.

I can see Explorers of Time lasting me for quite a while. As of now, my team is still in the range of level 45, so I've got quite some ways to go still. Even though the story line does end, the game keeps going for quite some time. I'll keep playing until the end, I'm sure. Because...

I wanna be the very best... That no one ever was...

SUMMARY


Storyline: 8.4/10
Sure, it's not the deepest of storylines, but the plot in Explorers of Time is probably the closest we'll get to something truly epic in a Pokémon game. I still can't get over how perfectly they nailed the personality of all the Pokémon... Insanely accurate.

Gameplay: 8.8/10
Explorers of Time may be a little repetitive, but it deals with it in the best of ways. Still, though, not being able to determine the strength of special attacks is a real bugger, and the breaking of the type alignment kind of irks me. But still, good fun.

Graphics: 8.7/10
The graphics may be simple, but they're by no means underwhelming. I love how bright and cheery that things can be, making the contrast of the more serious moments even more noticeable. And come on, it's got Ken Sugimori all over it! Just can't go wrong when Sugimori's involved.

Audio: 7.0/10
The audio is probably the closest thing Explorers of Time has to a low point. the lack of Pokémon cries is pretty disappointing, and the sound bytes used for some attacks are incredibly generic and often reused elsewhere in the game. But damned if that music isn't catchy!

Multiplayer: 9.8/10
I absolutely love what they did with the multiplayer here. Posting S.O.S messages and coming to the rescue of others makes me feel like I'm actually part of the game. It's just too darn cool.

Longevity: 8.9/10
I can see Explorers of Time keeping me busy for a while. I've still got a lot of leveling up to do, and there's at least 400 more Pokémon for me to track down. I'd better get to work.

OVERALL: 8.8/10
Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time is a real gem of a game, especially for a spin-off. It's certainly not for everyone, though. Some big sites may give it a 6.5, but really, these guys just aren't the ones the game is made for. If you like exploring, Pokémon and slightly repetitive (Yet fun) dungeon crawling, this game is for you. Just don't be surprised if you end up turning into a Pikachu in the process.

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The Duck Has Spoken.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Pokémon Trozei review

Writing about this recently made me want to play it again. And so, a review is born.

Developer: Genius Sonority
Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: March 2006
ESRB Rating: E for Everyone


When Pokémon Diamond and Pearl were announced in 2004, I doubt anyone expected they'd be waiting over two years to play it. In order to whet the Poké-appetites of the gamers, several other Pokémon games were released in the meantime: Ranger, Mystery Dungeon, Dash and Trozei. I have had a chance to play all but Ranger, and generally, I've had fun. Was Trozei one of the games that caught my attention, or was it the runt of the litter?

Unlike many puzzle games, Pokémon Trozei actually has a plot. The story follows SOL (Secret Operation League) agent Lucy Fleetfoot as she fights to retrieve countless Pokémon stolen by the Phobos Battalion. Why they have stolen all these Pokémon is unknown at first, but you can bet it's for an evil plan of some sort. It's always an evil plan.

Using the Trozei Beamer, Lucy can get a look at what Pokémon are inside the Pokéballs stockpiled in Phobos Battalion warehouses. Each ball emits a signal unique to the type of Pokémon within, giving us a graphical representation of what Pokémon we're dealing with. In order for the Beamer to work properly and send the captured Pokémon to safety, the signal must be intensified. To do this, players need to line up four or more of the same Pokémon. With the signal adequately strengthened, the Pokémon are teleported to SOL headquarters and returned to their rightful owners.

As you can probably assume, this is where the puzzle part comes into play. In order to line up Pokémon, players use the stylus to drag the lines left & right, and up & down. After the first line is finished (Called a "Trozei", of course), players receive a Trozei Chance. The next set can be completed with only three Pokémon, and the next with only two. Move quick enough, and it's entirely possible to clear an entire screen with one Trozei Chance. To help things along, making a Trozei using more Pokémon than necessary will earn a Ditto which acts as, you guessed it, a wild card. It'll go with any Pokémon out of the 386 in the game.

All 386 of these Pokémon are very distinct in their representation. Each Pokémon is easily identified, from Abra to Zubat. It's all so very colourful and happy, just like a Pokémon game should be (Well, mostly, anyways.). The game also sports some animated cinematics, although they're not exactly stunning. Mostly sliding pictures and backgrounds, but there is a cool animation of a silhouetted Lucy jumping and landing. Nothing particularly spectacular in the graphics department, but hey, it's a puzzle game. Since when have they been much more than simple sprites and minor effects?

No trouble identifying any of the Pokémon in
this screenshot. And so colourful, too.


The music in Trozei is pretty catchy at times, sometimes even sticking with me as I go about my daily routine (Ha, that's a laugh. Me with a routine). The sound effects, however, are pretty basic. Aside from a few chimes, it's really nothing special. But, as is the case with graphics, puzzle games are usually pretty basic when it comes to the sound effects. At least we got some nice tunes.

As is expected of a puzzle game, Pokémon Trozei features multiplayer. The player-to-player interaction is comparable to that of Tetris or Dr. Mario. Each significant Trozei is like an attack, tossing immovable rocks onto the opponents screen. This goes back and forth until one player runs out of space on the screens, declaring the other player the winner. Also, Trozei supports Single-Card Download Play, so you only need one copy to play with your pal. Yeah, I said pal. Sadly, Trozei is only a 1-2 player game no matter how you look at it. Four player would have been great. All hectic, all the time.

Trozei also includes one of Nintendo's early attempts at passive multiplayer. Similar to Bark Mode in Nintendogs, Trozei's Espionage encourages the player to close the DS and stick in in their pocket. While the DS sits there in Sleep Mode, it sees out other players using Espionage. The two games exchange "Agent Cards", which include both the player's name and the key to unlocking more Pokémon. I always thought passive multiplayer to be an interesting idea, but really, I never found anyone this way unless it was deliberately set up. Back when I first got Nintendogs, I left my DS in Bark Mode for about thirty minutes, walked all around a local park, and got nothing. Did the same thing in different places several times, and nothing. It was a novel idea, but it didn't really work all that well. Can't blame a company for trying something new, though.

Pokémon Trozei can last a long time if you really get hooked on it. I remember playing it constantly for about two months back when I first got it, and I do believe the same shall happen again now that I've rediscovered it. Puzzle games are great for that kind of thing. If the gameplay formula is good, the game will last you ages. Just look at Tetris and its billion rereleases.

SUMMARY

Storyline: 8.0/10
I like that Genius Sonority decided to get away from the traditional Pokémon story here. Aside from the Pokémon themselves, there's not a single character in this game that has appeared in any other title ever released. Yeah, it's cheesy, but darn it, I like cheesy.

Gameplay: 9.0/10
Genius Sonority struck gold with this gameplay design. Trozei is really addictive, and lining up a big combo is just so darned fulfilling. Definitely a puzzle game in need of a sequel, if just to fill out a little shallowness here and there.

Graphics: 8.3/10
Every one of the 386 Pokémon present are clearly identifiable, each of them just as colourful as the last. Get a good four or five different types on screen, and you almost don't want to advance, lest destroying the beauty. The cinematics drag this category down a bit, though. Sliding backgrounds don't quite cut it anymore.

Audio: 7.5/10
You know, I find it hard to rate the audio on most games unless it's mind-blowing or terrible. Anywhere in between, I'm stumped. I suppose 7.5 best fits Trozei because of the catchy tunes mixed with somewhat underwhelming sound effects.

Multiplayer: 8.3/10
Any puzzle game is great with pals, and Single-Card Download Play just makes it even easier to have fun. I really would have liked some sort of 4+ player mode, though, in addition to the existing 1-on-1.

Longevity: 9.0/10
It's a puzzle game. Seriously, what more needs to be said? As long as a puzzle game is fun, it's pretty much guaranteed to be addictive. I almost wish I hadn't rediscovered Trozei, as now my next few weeks are sure to be little else but sliding Pokémon back and forth. Not quite worth a 10, though. Just doesn't cause the same level of addiction as some of the greats like Tetris and Dr. Mario.

OVERALL: 8.9/10
Pokémon Trozei is a great puzzle game no matter how you look at it. A simple formula is always the best way to go about making an amazing puzzler, and Trozei truly achieved greatness through simplicity. And now, I want a sequel. 493 Pokémon, four-player multiplayer and online mode are just begging to meet with Genius Sonority's DS brainchild.

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The Duck Has Spoken.

Monday, June 23, 2008

A few more animals not yet made into Pokémon

Pokémon Week is go!



By racking my brain I have come up with yet another small selection of animals so that have so far avoided the Pokégrip of Game Freak. These few species should enjoy their freedom as it lasts, since the next generation is surely already being developed...

Koala


This adorable little specimen from Australia would make a good normal-type Pokémon. It would probably have attacks like Scratch, Defense Curl, Pound and Body Slam, and be about the same size as a real koala. It could even evolve into a bigger, meaner koala, with huge arms and a large body. The Koala Pokémon would probably have high health and defense, average attack, and low speed.

And what could this Pokémon be called? I was thinking maybe Kobear, due to the animal commonly being called a "koala bear". Of course, that's just one idea from a guy that's really bad at thinking up names.

Goat


I'm actually a little surprised to have not seen a goat Pokémon yet. It's a sturdy, well-known animal that would be great as another normal-type. Stomp, Take Down, Horn Attack and Rage would definitely be present in its moveset. It would likely have a high attack and speed, average defense, and low health. So, basically, it's a Tauros with different stats.

As for a name, I suppose Ramgoat or something like that would show up. But, as I said before, I really suck with names. It's a darn good thing that you don't often have to make up names when giving one to a child, or else any kid I may have in the future would have a really stupid name. In fact, for the sake of the child's sanity, I'd leave naming to the mother.

Goose


A goose Pokémon would make a great addition to the Pokémon world in my opinion. An excellent candidate for the next water and flying creature, it would have high defense and health, with medium attack and speed. Moves like Water Gun, Peck, Roost and Mist would be perfect for this fixture of Canadian landscape.

As for a name? How about Psychogoose? For some reason, that name rings a bell... And while we're talking about Canada's bird, what of America's?

Eagle


The majestic eagle has surprisingly avoided the eye of Game Freak for all these many years. How much longer until this flying/normal type pops up on our DS screens? My guess is, not much longer at all. With possible attacks like Aerial Ace, Sky Attack, Drill Peck and Wing Attack, this surefire heavy-hitter is a shoo in for generation five. High attack and speed with average defense and health, the eagle really is a perfect fit for a Pokémon.

Now, what to name this one... Sky + Eagle = Skeagle, perhaps? Boy am I bad at this...

Prairie Dog


The noble prairie dog would fit in well with all the other rodent-like Pokémon already present in the game. I suppose it would be best suited as a ground type, since it lives in burrows in the real world. It wouldn't be that outstanding of a Pokémon, though, as it would probably only have a high speed stat, with everything else being average. Possible attacks for this Pokémon would be Dig, Earthquake, Slash and, of course, Glare.

And a name... How about Prairdog? No? Yeah, I didn't think so either.

Lemur


This little guy already seems like a tailor-made Pokémon. Bizarre proportions, insanely cute, and very, very hyperactive. Back away, folks! This is a Pokémon waiting to happen! The lemur Pokémon would probably have good attack and speed stats, with average defense and health. Attacks would likely be centered on tail-based moves, such as Tail Whip, Iron Tail, and so on.

Murtail? Tailmur? Lemurwhozawhatzit? Yeah, I'll just stop trying now.

So, there you have it. A whopping six animals that still evade Game Freak. If the last two editions of this are any indication, I should expect a whole wave of comments tomorrow telling me I'm wrong on at least one of them. Just one of the things I need to get used to, it seems.

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The Duck Has Spoken.

Poll #45: "Which upcoming Wii game are you most looking forward to?" results, banner, Pokémon Week

"The Conduit" 10 votes (28%)
"Spore" 13 votes (37%)
"Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: The Crystal Bearers" 2 votes (5%)
"Sonic Unleashed" 1 votes (2%)
"I'm still waiting for Brawl, dammit!" 4 votes (11%)
"Other" 3 votes (8%)
"I don't know" 2 votes (5%)

I can't say I'm surprised to see those two games taking the top spots. After all, Spore comes from the brilliant mind of Will Wright, and The Conduit looks to be the best Wii shooter this side of Metroid Prime 3! Although I must say that this list is a little disappointing. If these are the only big titles in store for us, we may be in trouble. E3 had better bring a whole bunch of awesome news with it!

With this week's banner comes a special little announcement: Starting today and lasting until Friday's update is Pokémon Week! I recently had a flood of ideas for Pokémon-related articles, so hey, why not? This week will include at least one Pokémon game review (Although I'm hoping for two), so it's going to be an interesting five days. As for the banner itself, here ya go:

I tried to cram in as many Pokémon as I possibly could, and I think I did a fairly decent job. I tried to make one letter look like it was a transformed Ditto, but it didn't really work out as I hoped. Oh well, at least there's the obligatory Voltorb "O". And yeah, I just noticed that Tentacool is almost entirely covering the "K" in "Duck's". Oh well, I assume everyone will still know where they are without that letter being entirely visible. If they don't, I have no idea how they managed to live this long.

This week's poll shall also be Pokémon-related, with the question being "If you lived in the Pokémon world, what would you be?". I'd really have to go with trainer here. I wouldn't be able to resist getting my very own Bulbasaur.

Alrighty, Pokémon Week's first article will be up in an hour or two!

...or three... I'm terrible at keeping on track.

The Duck Has Spoken.