Showing posts with label Pokémon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pokémon. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

The worst jobs in gaming

Just about everyone has some sort of complaint about their job. Idiot co-workers, a boss that expects too much, insufficient pay, laughable health coverage... The list goes on. It just can't get any worse, can it? You'd think so, but then you look at some of the jobs some video game characters have to deal with. You're the lucky one. Chances are your job is nowhere near as bad as some of the stuff listed below. What better way to make yourself feel better than to look at what some other jerks have to do for a living, virtual or not? Sit back, relax, and read all about these poor souls who would gladly trade their profession of depression for a more calming career.

Gym Leader


As seen in: Pokémon
Why it sucks: You dedicate your whole life to becoming a powerful Pokémon trainer, leading to the day when you prove yourself to the Pokémon League and become a certified Gym Leader. After all this work, what awaits you?

Defeat. Constant, never-ending defeat. Due to some stupid Pokémon League rule, you're restricted to fighting with only one type of Pokémon. Being restricted to one type, and even being advertised as such, trainers know just what to bring to the battle to counter you. It's a simple game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, except you can only ever pick Scissors, and your foes always choose Rock... Or Fire... Or Water... You know, depending on your "specialty".

What's more, Gym Leaders are very rarely permitted to even leave the building. Whether it's the afternoon on a Wednesday, midnight on a Sunday, or even frigging Christmas morning, you're pretty much stuck there for your whole life. Happy birthday, now get to work!

Stuck in a stinking building forever, constantly getting your ass-kicked by 11-year-olds... What could possibly be worse? Well, how about the fact that, after all your hard work to be powerful, you're stuck fighting with a team of three crappy, low-level Pokémon? Goodbye LV.85 Blastoise, hello LV.12 Geodude. If that isn't the biggest kick in the nuts since you learned you had to go by the pun-tastic moniker "Brock", nothing is.

Police Officer
As seen in: Grand Theft Auto and all games like it
Why it sucks: Police officers save lives, put criminals behind bars, and eat a whole whackload of donuts. It's a pretty sweet deal... In the real world. Take that cop in the video game world, though, and he'll be dead before you can say "Officer down!".

On the job hazards for Liberty City police officers are numerous to say the least. Shootings: Check. Explosions: Check. Traffic fatalities: Check A flaming car landing on you after falling from an overpass which then explodes (The car, not the overpass) and causes a chain-reaction of exploding vehicles all down the crowded avenue, all while being shot at: Check.

It's not as if the higher-ups have much faith in you, either. You're patrolling the streets of the most violent city in the country, and what equipment do you receive? A handgun, a flimsy patrol car, and minimal armour. This so isn't worth $15/hour. Further minimizing your importance to the police chief is how he seems to have the SWAT team on speed dial. It's as if he knows you're not going to be able to do it on your own. No matter, he'll be dead soon, too.

With all of this said, I can think of one upside to the job: You never have to worry about affording your retirement. I hear Cluckin' Bell is hiring...

Mayor
As seen in: Pretty much every RPG ever
Why it sucks: Congratulations, mayor! The people made their choice, and it was you. Okay, party's over, now let's get to work. The roads are full of potholes, educational funding is abysmal, and a gigantic monster just ate the entire industrial sector. Would you like a coffee?

In pretty much every RPG known to man, some town gets destroyed, or at least heavily damaged. From Mideel in Final Fantasy VII to Trodain in Dragon Quest VIII, a city randomly gets completely screwed over. Causes vary, but it happens. Sometimes it's a monster, other times it's an explosion, and other times it's a curse of some sort. Whatever the case, you'll probably be wishing you didn't win that election.

On the off-chance that you survive the destruction, you'll probably get blamed for whatever caused it. Chances are you had no part in the catastrophe, nor were you at all capable of preventing it. Nonetheless, every mayor should make room in the funding for some body armour.

If you still want to be mayor, though, go ahead, I won't stop you. Just make sure to keep an eye out for any gigantic monsters on the horizon, always have your luggage ready to go, and keep a scapegoat in mind (I'm partial to the finance minister).

If, after reading this article, you still feel your job is crap, please get in contact with me. I've always wanted to meet Mike Rowe.

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Saturday, May 30, 2009

PokéOddities

I know I said that I was through with Pokémon, but... Apparently Pokémon wasn't through with me. Curse you, Game Freak!


Pokémon has made a few appearances in my "Gaming Oddities" series of articles, but after picking up Diamond again, I realize that it deserves a list all its own. There's just too much about this series that doesn't make sense. First off...

Pokémon: A proud supporter of interspecies relationships

-Trainer Jim sent out Smoochum!
-"Go, Charmander!"
-The foe's Smoochum used Attract!
-Charmander became infatuated!
-"...what."

Apparently Poltergeist isn't standard viewing at Game Freak HQ

Normal-type attacks do no damage to Ghost-type Pokémon. Okay, fine, that makes perfect sense. But Ghost-type attacks do no damage to Normal-type Pokémon? Take a seat, please, Mr. Tajiri. See, common stories involving ghosts not only include them scaring the crap out of humans (Sometimes literally), they also sometimes involve the ghosts making physical contact with their victims. Hence, Ghost-types can effect Normal-type Pokémon... Unless Earth is entirely populated by psychics, body-builders, goths, dragons, fire-eaters, swimmers... You get the idea.

Just got your butt kicked by that wild Skarmory? Don't worry, he's also a licensed air ambulance!

Having all your Pokémon knocked-out in battle causes you yourself to pass out and reappear at the last-visited PokéCenter. If that's not odd enough, how about the never-explained mode of transportation that miraculously teleports you to safety? It seems even the most wild of Pokémon has it in them to take you to that safe haven known as a PokéCenter while you're dozing off.

Perhaps even stranger is the fact that losing to a member of the local crime syndicate yields the same results. You'd think the group would rather jail you up to keep you quiet rather than push you out the front door and let you tell the whole world what they're up to. No wonder they're always so incompetent.

Alakazam has an IQ of over 5000 and a perfect memory, but does he know why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

Alakazam is, by far, the most intelligent of all Pokémon. With an IQ of over 5000 and brain cells that multiply up until the day he dies (According to Pokédex entries throughout history), this Pokémon's intelligence and memory are unmatched by anything else. Alakazam has been referred to as "a living supercomputer" many times throughout the series. So if Alakazam is so smart and has such an incredibly memory... Why can he only learn four moves? Whenever a new attack is to be learned, Alakazam must "forget" a previous one. So much for that perfect memory.

The Pokédex: Simultaneously empty and all-knowing

At the beginning of Pokémon Red/Blue/Yellow, Professor Oak gives the player a blank Pokédex. A Pokédex which he says is blank. Yet capturing any Pokémon suddenly fills it with the extent of the world's knowledge on the species. Doesn't make much sense, does it? So let's say that the Pokédex isn't blank, and instead contains all information relating to every known Pokémon. Why must we "unlock" said information by viewing the relevant Pokémon? It would be so much more helpful to know the types of all the Pokémon we're facing before we get into a fight with them.

So then, either Professor Oak is lying to us about the Pokédex being blank, or it's an amazingly perceptive and ground-breakingly intelligent device. Either way doesn't make much sense, does it?

Shoot first, then maybe breathe fire and bite later

The second generation of Pokémon brought with it many significant additions to the series. Genders, breeding, different Pokémon types, and perhaps most notably, a day/night cycle based on the real-world clock. This one feature introduced Pokémon that would only appear at certain times of day and a police force that becomes incredibly irritable when the sun sets. So much as walk in front of these "officers of the law" and you'll be forced into a Pokémon battle with them. Apparently the cops of Johto are of the "guilty until proven innocent" mindset.

Maybe things just materialize as needed?

The mountainous terrain, patches of tall grass and many rocks along the routes of the Pokémon world make for an interesting adventure... But spell disaster for any sort of vehicular transportation. Despite this, though, people miraculously have access to all sorts of technology and resources, no matter how incredibly difficult it may be to get there. Just look at the below image. East of Lavaridge are impassable cliffs and a path through a rocky and craggy mountain side. I'll never know why anyone ever settled in Lavaridge...

How the people of Lavaridge get anything at all boggles the mind

Land vehicles are certainly out of the question when it comes to shipping goods about (Yeah, right, tell that to the player's moving truck in the beginning of Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald...), so what about air? Nothing can stop the helicopters and planes of the world from flying overhead... Although plenty stops them from ever landing. All four regions in the main series are completely devoid of airstrips and helipads, so unless the entire shipping world is dominated by bush pilots, air is out of the question, too.

Heck, I think the only time there's ever been any sort of feasible means of shipment was via sea in Hoenn, and even then it was limited to the Eastern half of the territory. So... Maybe they rigged something up with the Pokéball teleporters to transport goods? Until I see proof, I'm gonna label that a theory and stick with the idea of people just randomly getting everything they need from thin air.

All Pokémon come with complimentary off-screen interpreter

"Go, Pikachu!"
"اخترت لكم ، Pikachu!"
"私は、ピカチュウを選ぶ!"
"Elegir usted, Pikachu!"
"Je vous choisissez, Pikachu!"
"Ζήτω για το Google μεταφραστή, Pikachu!"

No matter how you say it, they understand it. So not only can Pokémon understand the words of all other Pokémon, they can understand every single language known to man as well. It seems Alakazam isn't the only one that qualifies as a "living supercomputer"...

"Hi, I'm Dory"

Beating the Pokémon League for the first time is a great, fulfilling achievement. You've managed to take out what are (Often) the five toughest opponents in the game, in a row, with no breaks. Such an upset is sure to send ripples through the land, and those once-elite four are sure to have some choice words for you upon your return to the League, right?

Well, no, not really. It seems everyone at the Pokémon League suffers from a severe case of short term memory loss, since they never seem to recall you having beaten them before. An amazing feat, really, since the Hall of Fame records accessible at any PC in the world can say you've defeated them. So not only do the Elite Four have no memory whatsoever, they don't even have an internet connection. Also, why do we have to take out the "champion" each additional time we challenge the League? Shouldn't the title belong to the player at this point? Maybe Gary just gets his Alakazam to brainwash everyone so he can keep his position as number one...

And now for something completely different...


If that doesn't look like a man lying down yet "standing up", I'm a monkey's desk lamp. I think the ESRB was asleep that day.

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Monday, January 5, 2009

Stop the Pokémon train, I want to get off

So short! Don't worry, I got a review planned for the next couple days. Hold tight!


Back in 1999 I got a Game Boy Color and a copy of Pokémon Yellow: Special Pikachu Edition for Christmas. I loved that game then, and I still do now, having bought another copy to replace my long-lost cartridge. However, the latest iterations of Pokémon haven't managed to evoke that same feeling of wonder and enjoyment that the first two generations did. I've grown bored of Pokémon.

One of the reasons this may be is that nothing's really changed. We still fight eight themed gyms, get our starters from some professor that shares a name with a tree, and fight against some evil organization of varying competence. Four generations all with their own versions of the above, yet it all manages to be just about exactly the same in the end.

Another possible reason is the steady decline in the quality of the Pokémon themselves. The simple and cute designs of the first 150 have evolved into complex and bizarre-looking creatures occupying the latest 98 additions.

I think it's safe to say that Game Freak's run out of good ideas for new Pokémon, since now the new gimmick seems to be bringing back old creatures in new forms (Or "Formes", as they're officially called), with a serpentine Giratina, a variety of household appliance forms for Rotom (What, no sandwich?), and a mysteriously airborne dog redesign for Shaymin. If this is what's in store as the new big thing in the inevitable fifth generation, well, don't expect me to invest in Pokémon Graphite.

Also, like I said in "Pokémon: Why it needs to go back to go forward", I'm sick of how nicey-nice the so-called rivals have been these last two generations. I want someone I really feel like kicking the crap out of, not some good friend of mine. I want someone like the jerk from Gold/Silver/Crystal to really get my blood boiling again. But no, we have to make do with rejects from an after-school special instead that practically encourage us to wipe their Pokémon off the face of the Earth.

When Pokémon Platinum rolls around I'll probably pick it up for one last go, but after that I think I'll be jumping off the Pokémon train for good. It's been a good nine year ride, but it's about time I move on to something new. Maybe I'll finally get around to tracking down a copy of Mother 3 and a translation patch.

How about you? Has Pokémon lost its grip on you? Let your thoughts be known in the comment section, or this forum thread. And, if you read this by the 12th, you can also let your feelings be known via the current poll, located in the sidebar. So go ahead, vote, comment and post! Or none of the above! Because, you know, I can't control you... Yet...

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

"By this time next year..." revisited!



On November 2nd, 2007, I wrote "By this time next year...", an article containing predictions about what would happen in the gaming industry between then and November 2nd, 2008. Let's take a look at how well my predictions fared...

"...Star Fox Wii will have been announced for an early 2009 release." = WRONG

Augh, not off to a good start, am I? Star Fox Wii hasn't even been hinted at yet, much less announced for early next year. On the bright side, though, we did get confirmation on the development of Pikmin 3...

"...Animal Crossing Wii will have launched in all major markets." = WRONG

Oh, and I was so close, too! Sadly, it was a little less than two weeks after the deadline that City Folk was released in any region, so that's another prediction that bites the dust.

"...a new design of the Nintendo DS will be announced." = Correct!

A-ha, finally, I strike back! And not only has the DSi been announced, it's even launched in Japan! If only the rest of the world didn't have to wait so long...

"...at least two more game systems will be added to the Virtual Console." = Correct!

Score another one for me! In the last year, both the Neo Geo and SEGA Master System were added to the North American Virtual Console catalog. Furthermore, the European store has seen the addition of the Commodore 64 to its ranks.

"...the obligatory third Pokemon game of the generation will be released." = Correct!

Pokémon Platinum was released in Japan in September 2008, adding one more game to the pile, and one more point to my score!

"...over 20 million Wii systems will have been sold worldwide." = Correct!

Oh, if only I knew how right I was! The Wii's almost doubled that number, reaching roughly 35 1/2 million units sold worldwide as of September 2008! For all we know, the Wii could have already reached 40 million by now. I'm sure Nintendo will be all too happy to alert us when the landmark is reached.

"...Duke Nukem Forever will remain unreleased." = Correct!

I believe I'll let Professor Obvious field this one:


Thank you, professor.

So then, that's five right, and two wrong. I'd say that's a pretty darned good ratio right there! Now then, time for a new round of predictions! Annual tradition? You betcha! So then, by this time next year...

...at least one more console will be added to the North American Virtual Console
...Star Fox Wii will have been announced for an early 2010 release (I'm not giving up on this!)
...the true successor to the DS line of handhelds will have been announced
...Nintendo still won't have released a true solution to the Wii storage problem
...Wii sales will surpass 60 million worldwide
...the combined sales of the Nintendo DS, DS Lite and DSi will overtake the Playstation 2's record sales of 140 million+
...Mother 3 will still be landlocked in Japan, without any sort of announcements made for a release outside of its homeland
...at least two more Pokémon games will have been released (Main series and/or spin-offs)

The least likely of all the above would probably have to be the DS sales outdoing the PS2, with everything else hovering around the 70% range for probability. Will my predictions turn out true? The only way to find out is to wait for December 3rd, 2009...

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Friday, October 17, 2008

Another batch of animals not quite yet Pokémon

The planned article will have to wait yet again. It's a Viva Piñata: Pocket Paradise review, and I haven't had as much time to play it as I expected. My cat's still sick, and I've been having a hard time concentrating on anything, really. So instead of a review, here's something a little light-hearted. Also, here are the links to parts one, two and three of this series of articles.


Ask anyone if they know what Pokémon is, and they'll probably say yes. The series has continued to succeed for 13 years now, and a large part of this success is the character design. With Pokémon modeled after rabbits, turtles, frogs, and snakes, it's evident that the folks at Game Freak draw a lot of inspiration from nature's creatures. I wouldn't be surprised if they just thumb through an animal encyclopedia when looking for new designs! If that's the case, here are a few more Pokémon they must have missed while skimming the ol' Encyclopedia Brittanica.

Electric Eel

Now this is the ultimate in no-brainers. They have eel Pokémon in the forms of Gorebyss and Huntail, and they have Electric/Water combos in the forms of Chinchou and Lanturn. Why not put the two together and make an electric eel? I can totally see such a Pokémon in my mind right now, with Bubblebeam, Thunderbolt, Charge and Dive. A blue eel Pokémon with a jagged yellow stripe down the side, and a lightning bolt symbol on its forehead. With lightning-fast speed and a high special attack, this new Pokémon would make a great addition to just about any team.

Now then, it just needs a name... I was thinking Eelectric, but hey, I'm a punny kind of guy.

Flamingo

While some may argue we already have enough bird Pokémon, I feel that a couple more in the next batch certainly couldn't hurt. That being said, I propose the flamingo make the jump from nature's best to Game Freak's finest. A bright-pink Flying/Water type, this Pokémon would use attacks like Peck, Wing Attack, Water Gun and Low Kick (Just look at those mean legs!). It would likely be a fast critter, with a decent attack and special attack. Defense, however, would be low, as would special defense.

Now then, a Flying/Water flamingo... How's Doused-O? Because it used to be a flaming-o? Huh? Get it? Ah, phooey.

Polar Bear

Polar creatures are no stranger to the Pokémon universe, what with Spheal, Sealeo, Walrein, Seel and Dewgong all being from colder climates. So why not an Ice-type polar bear? Using attacks like Blizzard, Stomp, Ice Beam and Body Slam to get the job done, this frigid beast would certainly be a force to be reckoned with! Off-setting its high defense and attack, though, would be fairly average special attack and special defense, as well as a low speed. Still, it would certainly be up there with Blissey when it comes to stalling for time.

So, what's in a name for this polar fighter? I was thinking something along the lines of Northpaw. You know, it's like Southpaw, but from the North pole, but it's right-handed, and... Okay, I really suck at name-making.

Ant

With so many Bug-type Pokémon like Caterpie, Ariados and Pinsir, it's incredibly surprising to me that there's not one creature modeled after an ant. This insanely common insect would most likely be a Bug/Ground-type, using attacks like Dig, Bug Bite, X-scissor and Earthquake. The ant Pokémon would be fast and have high attack, but average-to-low numbers for all other stats.

Now, what name to give to this crawly insect? I'd like to think one up, but I've been playing Viva Piñata: Pocket Paradise so much lately, the only thing that comes to mind is Raisant. CURSE YOU RARE!

Badger

We've seen ferrets and weasels, so why not a badger? With its stocky build and interesting facial pattern, a badger would make a fantastic Normal-type Pokémon! As for attacks, I'd say Body Slam, Mega Punch, Rest and Defense Curl are all right up its alley. I'm seeing this prospective Pokémon sporting high defense, special defense and attack, with most other stats being fairly below average.

What to name a badger Pokémon... Well, it's a mean-looking mammal that strikes me as a real fighter, so how about... Meanboxermammal? No? Didn't think so. I'll leave the naming to Game Freak...

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Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Lawn mower, fridge, toaster, washing machine, fan... What else could Rotom be?

Another short one. Oh well. Hopefully Friday will be better.


So, it was revealed recently that the Pokémon Rotom would be getting new forms in Pokémon Platinum. That's cool, until you hear this: The forms are all appliances. That's right, not only do we get to control freaked-up animals and mystical creatures, now we get to pick up our Maytag washing machines and let them do our bidding. What's next?

Perhaps we'll to take our laptops into battle soon? Or how about driving a car onto the battlefield? That'd be something. Oh, and I can just imagine how it would look if we got the ability to bring TVs into the equation. Battles would be endlessly delayed in wait of a commercial break for sure.

Would it faint, or get the Blue Screen of Death?

Hey, why let it stop here? How about we just plain old make brand new Pokémon out of machinery and appliances! A Ground-type bulldozer, a Water-type boat, heck, let's go for an Electric-type Nintendo DS while we're at it! Those dual screens could do a whole lot of damage!

After this electronic revolution, who knows what could be next? How about a Pokémon made out of food? "Wild Donut appeared! Go, Torterra! Use 'Eat'!" Next thing you know, it'll turn out that the Silph Co. building was a sleeping Pokémon all along. Nobody will see that one coming!

I may be a dedicated fan of Pokémon, but even I can see that ideas are starting to run out at Game Freak. I'll tolerate the Rotom forms, but if it goes any further, I do believe I'll be spending my cash elsewhere. Nobody needs to see a wild sandwich appear.


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Thursday, August 21, 2008

It's time for Pokémon to evolve

Yeah, I felt like a bit of a jerk for not writing anything, so here ya go. Thought this up as I fell asleep last night.



I've loved the Pokémon games ever since I saw a friend playing it on the playground so many years ago. I loved exploring the Pokémon world, catching the Pokémon, fighting the gym leaders, beating the Elite Four, and generally just living the Pokémon life. After playing Yellow Version for a while, I got Gold, then Crystal, followed by Ruby, Leafgreen, and Diamond. I had quite a bit of fun in each of these games. Looking back, though, all of these games, although different, were still fundamentally the same. Ten years later, I'm still fighting gym leaders, challenging the Elite Four, and fighting some sort of evil (Yet inept) association. Little has been added to the series, and I think it's about time things change.

First off, I'm getting tired of the same old plot each and every time. It's always a ten year-old boy/girl embarking on a big journey to become the best Pokémon trainer, blah blah blah. Can't we think of something better? Maybe a game were the protagonist is a teenager, leaving home to prove himself? Say the young man is tired of living in his older brother's shadow, and he sets out to make a name for himself. Sure, there's still the basic formula of gym battles and Elite Four challenges, but at least it's a different plot. Also, wouldn't it be cool if the Elite Four Champion turned out to be the player's jerky older brother? That would make for an interesting "final battle" atmosphere, with the big brother constantly taunting his sibling throughout the match.

Second, how about we try something different with the evil corporation that always seems to lie just below the surface? How about some sort of truly evil group that kidnaps trainers and steals their Pokémon, then demands ransom for the trainer's return? A truly malevolent organization would add a whole new angle to the series, with both the police and groups of trainers fighting back against them. Heck, the player could even join one of these groups, fighting the corporation in team-vs-team matches spread throughout the existing "be the best" plot. Just a little something to add some spice to the general monotony.

Third, I think Pokémon needs some sort of new gameplay mechanic. Not something minor and passive like the Pokétch from Diamond and Pearl or contests from Ruby and Sapphire. I mean something that affects and enhances the core gameplay. As for what exactly the new mechanic should be, I'm not sure. Just something, anything to change up the quickly-becoming-stale gameplay of Pokémon.

As I said at the beginning of the article, some progress has been made on improving the franchise. A few new game elements have been introduced over the years, and even new story elements have made their debut. Still, though, it's not enough to mask the fact that this series has been much the same ever since it first appeared on the Game Boy. I'll be picking up Platinum for sure, but unless the next game introduces something truly new and exciting, I'm not sure if I'll be continuing my quest as a Pokémon trainer.

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Tuesday, July 15, 2008

E3 2008 predictions



So, it's that time of the year again: E3 time! That also means it's time for my significantly less important annual E3 predictions post. Sorted by probability, here are my guesses.

Almost certainly going to happen

Do I even have to say it? Everyone else has been screaming this for weeks now... Animal Crossing Wii is pretty much a sure-thing for this E3. It just has to be there! So many signs are pointing to it that if it didn't happen, I'm almost positive the world would implode from shock. Animal Crossing Wii will be there in some shape or form.

It's pretty much a no-brainer that we'll see some sort of demonstration of the Wii MotionPlus during tomorrow's conference. I can already see Miyamoto standing on stage, flailing around the new device like a madman to demonstrate its capabilities. What game he'll be playing, though, is beyond me. Perhaps a new title we've yet to see? We can only hope!

Somewhat likely

It just seems like showing some more info on Disaster: Day of Crisis is the thing to do right now. We haven't seen a single screenshot all year, and not a clip of footage since E3 2006. It's about time we get a little more eye-candy. Concept art, screenshots, or a small video are likely going so surface at this E3. Not quite a sure thing, but definitely likely.

Also, I believe that there's a good chance we'll see an old franchise make a comeback this week. I'm personally leaning towards the trio of Pikmin, Starfox and Punch-Out specifically. Of course, I doubt we'd see all of them, but I'm somewhat confident one of them will show up. Again, not a sure thing like Animal Crossing, but a distinct possibility.

How about a new Zelda? Not necessarily the true Zelda Wii or anything, but perhaps a new DS game? Or maybe even a WiiWare release of some sort? I'd like to see a revised version of Tetra's Trackers hit the Wii's download service for sure. Will we see a new Zelda? I've got a good feeling about it. Whatever system or service it comes out for, though, don't expect more than a trailer. Just my two cents on the subject.

50/50 chance of happening

I wish I could say that there's a good chance of seeing Pokémon Platinum this week, but really, I'm not at all sure. It definitely could happen, but I have a feeling that they'd release info in Japan rather than in The United States. The Pokémon games have a tendency to detailed more in their home country than anywhere else. Still, Nintendo has never been a predictable company, so who knows. Still, I have a slight feeling we'll see something.

Somewhat unlikely

When people started saying a few months back that they expected a DS redesign come this E3, I thought they were all nuts. Really, the DS Lite is doing just fine! Do we need another model yet? I don't think so. But, for some reason, I just can't shake the feeling that it'll happen. Nintendo does love their money, and sales are starting to slow down in Japan... But still, I'm not entirely sure a new model will be shown off this E3. Maybe at the next major event, but I don't think we'll see it tomorrow.

Ain't gonna happen

If you think we'll see the "Wii 2" tomorrow, think again. It's way to early for this sort of thing, and yet, people still think it's right around the corner. Well, it isn't. Wii MotionPlus pretty much confirms it. No new Wii any time soon, folks.

I suppose that's all I have to predict this year. Really, we're going into this E3 very much in the dark. All we have to go on for predictions are industry mumblings, which have been fairly quiet as of late. Oh well. As long as a lot of cool stuff happens tomorrow, I'll be happy.

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The Duck Has Spoken.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Bits and pieces: Random game ideas volume 4

I hope all you Americans out there had a great Independence Day!



As always, my brain is going nuts 24/7, spewing out random crap at such a rate to make one's head spin. Once in a while, though, something good does come of it, such as a couple game ideas. Here they are, with laughably bad Photoshop images accompanying them.

Mario Hockey

First of all, there's the idea of Mario Hockey. Now, I'm pretty sure I wrote about this somewhere before, but it surely wasn't in as much detail as this will be. Anyways, the game would be just what it sounds like: A standard Mario/sports crossover along the lines of Strikers, Baseball and Hoops. Like those other games, the sport would be significantly spiced up with the addition of many Mario items, power-ups and craziness. As you can see from the above picture, I'm thinking of items such as Bob-ombs, banana peels and Koopa Shells would join the fray, along with a few rink hazards. Holes in the ice? Random ramps? Perhaps even randomly-falling Whomps?

Just imagine the chaos. There you are, the famous plumber himself, dashing towards the opposing team's net. A Snifit comes out of nowhere, charging at you with a speed-boosting mushroom. You quickly toss out your only item, a banana peel, causing the speeding foe to spin out and fall into a hole in the ice. You keep going, dodging flying shells, exploding Bob-ombs, and various other obstacles. Finally, you reach the net. Bowser stands as goalie, staring you down as he prepares to roast you with his fire breath. You quickly charge up your special shot (A la Strikers), pull back your stick and slam it right between the big reptile's legs. Score one for Mario's team.

Seriously, wouldn't this be great? And just imagine how certain items could affect the rink, too! Bob-ombs causing those pesky holes in the ice, Bowser's fire breath melting the rink's surface into a temporary puddle (It would re-freeze over a few seconds), and even slamming into the ice so hard to make it crack and form a ramp. The possibilities for a Mario Hockey are mind-blowing, and I really hope some developer is busting their ass on this right now. I need the hectic, Mario-fueled ice hockey now, man!



As you are probably aware, a DS game by the name of Pokémon Dash was released back in 2005. Another bit of common knowledge is that this game sucked dramatically. Really, I rented this, and even the standard $8 fee felt like a rip-off. Dash was very close to ending up in last year's Three worst DS games article. It was that bad. The sad thing is, though, the concept was pretty great. Racing with Pokémon? Hell yeah! Nintendo has the technology. They can rebuild this. And thus I propose Pokémon Chase.

Like Dash, Chase would be a racing game starring, of course, Pokémon. The similarities just about end there, though. Instead of being restricted to playing only as Pikachu, players would be able to select from a wide variety of race-ready Pokémon, such as Rapidash, Tauros, Mightyena, and Houndoom. Also unlike Dash, every usable Pokémon in Chase would have it's own special abilities, speed, jump height, and level of maneuverability. For example, a Tauros would be able to knock opponents aside and run very, very fast, but it would have a terrible turning radius and wouldn't be able to jump very well. Rapidash would be quite the same, but would instead have a Flamethrower-like ability enabling it to scorch and slow down its foes temporarily.

Instead of Dash's scattered checkpoint-style gameplay, Chase would be a more straightforward racer like Mario Kart. As in Kart, each track would have its own theme of sorts, each of which mirroring a location in the Pokémon world. There could be a race atop the mountain surrounding Indigo Plateau, a circuit involving the Cycling Road, and perhaps even one taking place on a series of connected rooftops high above Saffron City. I can see so much potential in a completely re-vamped Pokémon racer, and it would be amazing if someone were to make this game a reality. For now, though, I suppose I'll just need to get my Pokémon fix separate from my racing dosage. But getting both at the same time... Wow.

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The Duck Has Spoken.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Poll #46: "If you lived in the Pokémon world, what would you be?" results, banner, 300th post


So, the time has finally come. What you are reading right now is the 300th post to be published on One Duck's Opinion. Sure, about 50 of those are probably me whining about not having anything to write, but shush. The point is, I have published 300 posts here, which is a lot. Somewhat of a pity this didn't happen back when the "SPARTA!" joke was more relevant, but oh well. I got to graft Psyduck's head onto the body of Leonidas, and that's gotta count for something.

Back to business, then...

"A Pokémon trainer" 18 votes (69%)
"A Pokémon breeder" 1 vote (3%)
"A Pokémon contest competitor" 0 votes (0%)
"A Pokémon doctor" 1 vote (3%)
"I'd be a Pokémon" 2 votes (7%)
"A normal person" 2 votes (7%)
"Other" 1 vote (3%)
"I don't know" 1 vote (3%)

Really, is anyone surprised at these results? Being a Pokémon trainer is just too amazing an opportunity to pass up. Well, unless you're one of the people who voted otherwise. I suppose I can see the interest in the other choices, but dammit, I want a Bulbasaur!

This week's banner comes to us from forum member Camieman10. The subject? Luigi! Why? Because he's awesome! Moving on...



Alrighty, that just leaves the matter of this week's poll: "Who's your favourite female Nintendo character?" I just gotta go with Samus on this one. After all, she's just about the only one who doesn't end up getting captured in every single game. Super Princess Peach? ...nope, never heard of it.

Alrighty, then. New article will be up in a little while.

The Duck Has Spoken.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time review

As the back of the game case says, "The contents of Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time/Darkness are almost the same.". Thus, this review applies to both. But, since I bought Explorers of Time, the review will be labeled as such.

Developer: Chunsoft
Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: April 20th, 2008
ESRB Rating: E for Everyone
ESRB Notes: Mild Cartoon Violence


Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Blue Rescue Team was the 100th game to be added to my collection. It was more than a milestone, though. It was also a damn good game. Over a year later, sequels are released in the forms of Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time and Explorers of Darkness. Do the new games measure up to the old? Or is it a case of a sequel falling short of the source material's excellence?

When it comes to the majority of Pokémon game releases, storyline isn't usually a strong point. It's often just "Be the best and catch 'em all!", and little more. The Mystery Dungeon games, however, have comparatively deep and interesting plots. Note the word "comparatively". This isn't exactly Dostoevsky, but it is a step above the challenge to be a Pokémon Master. It all begins with the you washing ashore on a beach. When you awake, you have no absolutely no memory of anything whatsoever, save for two things: Your name, and the fact that you're a human. Or rather, that you were a human, because for some unknown reason, you're now a Pokémon! So there you are, a person with almost no memories, in a land you don't know, in the body of a Pokémon. How can you get back? Why are you a Pokémon? Who will feed your cat while you're away? The answers to most of these questions are answered throughout the storyline (I guess Fluffy just ate your couch or something), accompanied with a few slightly predictable twists here and there. Over all, though, a good story, and the last little bit almost made me cry a teeny bit (But then again, I'm a real sap).

"Oh, no, I'm fine... Mind passing me my tibia? I think it landed over there..."

The personification of the Pokémon was something that really impressed me. Just imagine any Pokémon out there, try and picture what it's personality would be like... And that's exactly how it is in Explorers of Time. Bidoof's just as stupid and useless as you'd assume, and Sunflora is such a stereotypical early-teens girl that it's almost scary. Really, even the Pokémon who's personalities I'd never even considered smack me in the face with how accurate they are. I'll meet a new Pokémon, watch it talk for a while, and just get this feeling like "Yes. This is how this Pokémon would act if it could speak.". Some really amazing stuff.

The Pokémon you become at the beginning of the game isn't predetermined or random. The game starts with a personality test of sorts. You're hit with a random selection of ten or so questions, and the game determines which Pokémon most accurately reflects your personality. Apparently, I'm a Pikachu. Never saw that coming. Still, pretty cool.

The core gameplay mechanic of the Mystery Dungeon games is quite different from your standard Pokémon title. It still has RPG elements, sure, but it's a dungeon crawler. See, when you wash up on that beach, you're greeted by an exploration team hopeful. He (Or she) gets you to join up with him (Or her) and form your very own exploration team (Which you can name, by the way). From then on, you can take on jobs posted on bulletin boards, and then off you go to the dungeon. A mystery dungeon, as it's called, changes every time you enter it. It will always have the same amount of floors, but each one will change completely if you leave and come back. Furthermore, if you perish within a mystery dungeon, you will be returned to the surface minus several items and all your money. You can save yourself the loss by getting someone to come to your aid, and I'll talk more about that later. Of course, if you want to get to that quickly, you can just hit Ctrl+F, bash in "multiplayer", and click down to the next result. See ya there, Mr. Impatient.

The gameplay is simple, yet fun.


While spelunking, you'll run into many different Pokémon, and almost all of them are hostile. What else can you do but take 'em down? Well, besides run like a disgraceful little exploration team reject, that is. There are three conventional ways of attacking: Throwing at item at an enemy, directly attacking them, or use a special attack. What differentiates a normal attack from a special one? Well, normal attacks are weak, basic little moves that have no special effects whatsoever. Your opponent is damaged, and that's it. The special attacks, however, are just like those you know from the main Pokémon series. Thundershock, Tackle, Water Gun, and many more. The one downside to special attacks is, like in the main games, they can only be used a limited number of times before exhausting all of their Power Points (PP). When all of a move's PP are gone, it's useless until you either get a Max Elixer, die and get revived with a Reviver Seed, or leave the dungeon. Basically, there's some strategy involved, and not only in choosing which move to use. There's also the same four attack limit from the main series, so deciding if increased strength is worth the decreased PP is an important decision to make.

Speaking of attack strength, there really isn't any way to determine if one attack is stronger than the other. There's no strength value or anything assigned to a move like in the main series. Really, the only way to judge how good a move is by its additional effects. Thunderbolt affects all enemies within one tile of the user, while Thundershock only affects one enemy. Okay, so Thunderbolt's better. But if two moves both have the same effects, there's really no way to decide which is better without taking the plunge and trying the new move. And then, if the new move sucks, you gotta pay 500 Pokébucks (Or whatever the currency's called) to get the old move back. I'd kill for a number value telling me if Quick Attack is better than Slam. Well, not really kill... Although maiming is a possibility.

If you're anything like me, you probably have the type alignment table memorized by now. Electric attacks can't harm Rock Pokémon, Normal attacks can't hit Ghost Pokémon, etc... Well, you can forget a few of those, because some changes have been made. There is no longer any such thing as a type resistance that causes an attack to do nothing. So yes, you can Thunderbolt a Graveler and Tackle a Misdreavus. Of course, these attacks are incredibly weak in this situation, but still, they do hurt the formerly impervious foes. They also hurt my brain with the inconsistency... Or maybe that's because it's 3:30 AM and I'm still writing.

Of course, you can always get other members of your exploration team to take over if you come across a type disadvantage. Or rather, you should be able to, but the partner AI in this is borderline brain dead. The standard tactic you can assign to a partner, "Let's go together", makes it so they stick with you as you explore a dungeon. That's nice, but if an Ursaring and three of his buddies start pounding on you, don't expect your team to help you out. See, the problem with the "Let's go together" tactic is that your partners take it a little too strictly. Even if your face is being pounded in, they just stand there until an enemy comes into striking distance. They won't advance on your assailants at all. But that's just the one tactic. They can't all possibly be flawed, can they?

Sadly, they are. Well, some of them are. Out of all the tactics, the only ones you really ever need to use are "Let's go together", "Go after enemies", "Stay here", and "Get out of here!". All the other ones are so useless I can't even remember what they're called. The latter two I just listed work fine, but it's the first two that are the problems. I already went over the masochistic nature of "Let's go together", so I suppose I should describe just what is so terribly wrong with "Go after enemies". Like "Let's go together", this tactic is taken far too seriously by your partners. They will track an enemy until they get close enough to strike, even if it means running all the way to the other side of the floor you're on. And then, when they finally meet and defeat this foe, they just wander around stupidly until you find them again. Looking at the map while this happens is painful, really. The little yellow dot representing your lost partner just dashes around, flying through corridors and screaming through the level's more open areas. Unless you can somehow manage to get in the same room as them or run into your disconnected pal head-on in a corridor, he'll continue to run in circles like a Torchic with its head cut off. Telling it to "Stay here" works, I'm sure, but it's a whole lot of effort to go through just to stop your Kabuto from bolting about like an idiot.

It can be so hard to find good help these days...

The actual missions you take on in these mystery dungeons are varied, yet the same. Sometimes you have to deliver an item, other times you have to find a stranded explorer, and other times you have to take down a wanted criminal. No matter what the mission, though, fulfilling it is basically the same: Go into the dungeon, keep going up/down until you reach the right floor, find target, save/deliver item to/defeat target, leave. There are some story-centric missions that manage to change things up a bit, but other than that, it's just a series of "get there" missions.

But, for some reason, I really don't seem to care. I can keep going to all these different dungeons for days, see the same things in different sprite sets, yet still have fun. It's the thrill of exploring the unknown. The rush of taking on unknown dangers. The fulfillment of saving a lost comrade. And, of course, the pursuit of the rest of the story. So yeah, it's repetitive, but it's fun. If you don't mind a bit of routine, you should be good to go.

Explorers of Time is a rare example of a modern, sprite-based game that actually looks pretty damn good. Each Pokémon has a vast array of poses and animations, from getting hit to charging up to walking. That may not sound by much, but multiply that by 491 and it becomes quite the different story (I say 491 and not 493 because Arceus and Shaymin are absent). Plus, each Pokémon has at least one "portrait" assigned to it. A portrait is what appears when a conversation is taking place, indicating who is talking. In some cases, if the Pokémon talking is startled, happy, mad, or otherwise expressing emotion, the portrait will change to reflect this. So really, there's quite a few graphics for each of the Pokémon in the game. Including sprites and portraits, I'd say there's easily over 5000 graphics for the characters alone.

The main hub town is very colourful and varied in appearance, from the Western extreme of Sharpedo Bluff to the North-Eastern, cliff-side exploration team guild. In contrast to the bright and brilliant hub town is the relatively dark and dismal array of mystery dungeons. There are maybe 20 different sprite sets that the dungeons are crafted from, from beach to cave to forest. I suppose I can't fault it too much, though. The sprite sets do have to be relatively simple for a random dungeon creator, after all.

A few cinematics help tell Explorers of Time's story, often taking advantage of both the DS' screens (As seen both below and in this review's topmost screenshot). To top things off, the Pokémon "portraits" mentioned before are all drawn by Ken Sugimori, primary designer of nearly every one of the first 251 Pokémon. He even illustrated the box cover and the booklet! Yes, I'm a bit of a fan of his, and I'm not afraid to admit it. He's seriously the best of the official Pokémon artists, and having him working on Explorers of Time is icing on this delicious graphical cake.

Still no takers on this beautiful seaside property. I wonder what's turning them away...?

So on the whole, Explorers of Time is a pretty visually pleasing game. A whole whackload of sprites are crammed into that cartridge, and while it may not look much better than the first installment, it's still pretty darn nice-looking.

The audio in Explorers of Time is pretty, well... Basic. There's no Pokémon cries, and I'm pretty sure all the Electric attacks use the same sound of crackling electricity. Actually, it's not so much the sound of crackling electricity as it is kind of a buzz followed by a sort of crashing sound.

The music helps make up for the shortcomings of the sound effects. I commonly get the town music caught in my head, and the tune from in a few of the dungeons pops in every now and then, too. Of course, it happens more often if I'm not pumping K.K. Slider into my ears, but you get the point.

And now, on to the multiplayer aspect... Oh, hello there, Mr. Impatient! Sorry to keep you waiting. Now then, there isn't any actual "direct" multiplayer in Explorers of Time. As I said earlier, if you perish while exploring, you can avoid losing your loot by sending out a call for help. You can try to find a friend locally, or take it online. When online, you can try to track down a registered friend directly, post your distress message on the game's server, or copy down a password. Except for the second method, local is exactly the same but, you know, local. The direct contact and "bulletin board" methods are self-explanatory, but the password version does need a bit of explanation. When using password, you get a long code you can copy down onto a piece of paper or post on a message board. Someone else copies it down, punches it into their game, and goes to rescue you. When they're done, they give you another password which you can enter into your game, and you're saved. It's even possible to thank people with gifts and such if you wish so. Really, this is a pretty cool system they've set up here. I've already found a neat little community that acts just like the exploration team guild in the game. Post your code, they help you out, and it's done. I wouldn't be surprised if there's a dozen or more additional groups just like this dedicated to helping out the less skilled players out there. It's so cool, I almost want to go mess up and die just to get rescued again. Almost.

I can see Explorers of Time lasting me for quite a while. As of now, my team is still in the range of level 45, so I've got quite some ways to go still. Even though the story line does end, the game keeps going for quite some time. I'll keep playing until the end, I'm sure. Because...

I wanna be the very best... That no one ever was...

SUMMARY


Storyline: 8.4/10
Sure, it's not the deepest of storylines, but the plot in Explorers of Time is probably the closest we'll get to something truly epic in a Pokémon game. I still can't get over how perfectly they nailed the personality of all the Pokémon... Insanely accurate.

Gameplay: 8.8/10
Explorers of Time may be a little repetitive, but it deals with it in the best of ways. Still, though, not being able to determine the strength of special attacks is a real bugger, and the breaking of the type alignment kind of irks me. But still, good fun.

Graphics: 8.7/10
The graphics may be simple, but they're by no means underwhelming. I love how bright and cheery that things can be, making the contrast of the more serious moments even more noticeable. And come on, it's got Ken Sugimori all over it! Just can't go wrong when Sugimori's involved.

Audio: 7.0/10
The audio is probably the closest thing Explorers of Time has to a low point. the lack of Pokémon cries is pretty disappointing, and the sound bytes used for some attacks are incredibly generic and often reused elsewhere in the game. But damned if that music isn't catchy!

Multiplayer: 9.8/10
I absolutely love what they did with the multiplayer here. Posting S.O.S messages and coming to the rescue of others makes me feel like I'm actually part of the game. It's just too darn cool.

Longevity: 8.9/10
I can see Explorers of Time keeping me busy for a while. I've still got a lot of leveling up to do, and there's at least 400 more Pokémon for me to track down. I'd better get to work.

OVERALL: 8.8/10
Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time is a real gem of a game, especially for a spin-off. It's certainly not for everyone, though. Some big sites may give it a 6.5, but really, these guys just aren't the ones the game is made for. If you like exploring, Pokémon and slightly repetitive (Yet fun) dungeon crawling, this game is for you. Just don't be surprised if you end up turning into a Pikachu in the process.

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Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Pokémon Trozei review

Writing about this recently made me want to play it again. And so, a review is born.

Developer: Genius Sonority
Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: March 2006
ESRB Rating: E for Everyone


When Pokémon Diamond and Pearl were announced in 2004, I doubt anyone expected they'd be waiting over two years to play it. In order to whet the Poké-appetites of the gamers, several other Pokémon games were released in the meantime: Ranger, Mystery Dungeon, Dash and Trozei. I have had a chance to play all but Ranger, and generally, I've had fun. Was Trozei one of the games that caught my attention, or was it the runt of the litter?

Unlike many puzzle games, Pokémon Trozei actually has a plot. The story follows SOL (Secret Operation League) agent Lucy Fleetfoot as she fights to retrieve countless Pokémon stolen by the Phobos Battalion. Why they have stolen all these Pokémon is unknown at first, but you can bet it's for an evil plan of some sort. It's always an evil plan.

Using the Trozei Beamer, Lucy can get a look at what Pokémon are inside the Pokéballs stockpiled in Phobos Battalion warehouses. Each ball emits a signal unique to the type of Pokémon within, giving us a graphical representation of what Pokémon we're dealing with. In order for the Beamer to work properly and send the captured Pokémon to safety, the signal must be intensified. To do this, players need to line up four or more of the same Pokémon. With the signal adequately strengthened, the Pokémon are teleported to SOL headquarters and returned to their rightful owners.

As you can probably assume, this is where the puzzle part comes into play. In order to line up Pokémon, players use the stylus to drag the lines left & right, and up & down. After the first line is finished (Called a "Trozei", of course), players receive a Trozei Chance. The next set can be completed with only three Pokémon, and the next with only two. Move quick enough, and it's entirely possible to clear an entire screen with one Trozei Chance. To help things along, making a Trozei using more Pokémon than necessary will earn a Ditto which acts as, you guessed it, a wild card. It'll go with any Pokémon out of the 386 in the game.

All 386 of these Pokémon are very distinct in their representation. Each Pokémon is easily identified, from Abra to Zubat. It's all so very colourful and happy, just like a Pokémon game should be (Well, mostly, anyways.). The game also sports some animated cinematics, although they're not exactly stunning. Mostly sliding pictures and backgrounds, but there is a cool animation of a silhouetted Lucy jumping and landing. Nothing particularly spectacular in the graphics department, but hey, it's a puzzle game. Since when have they been much more than simple sprites and minor effects?

No trouble identifying any of the Pokémon in
this screenshot. And so colourful, too.


The music in Trozei is pretty catchy at times, sometimes even sticking with me as I go about my daily routine (Ha, that's a laugh. Me with a routine). The sound effects, however, are pretty basic. Aside from a few chimes, it's really nothing special. But, as is the case with graphics, puzzle games are usually pretty basic when it comes to the sound effects. At least we got some nice tunes.

As is expected of a puzzle game, Pokémon Trozei features multiplayer. The player-to-player interaction is comparable to that of Tetris or Dr. Mario. Each significant Trozei is like an attack, tossing immovable rocks onto the opponents screen. This goes back and forth until one player runs out of space on the screens, declaring the other player the winner. Also, Trozei supports Single-Card Download Play, so you only need one copy to play with your pal. Yeah, I said pal. Sadly, Trozei is only a 1-2 player game no matter how you look at it. Four player would have been great. All hectic, all the time.

Trozei also includes one of Nintendo's early attempts at passive multiplayer. Similar to Bark Mode in Nintendogs, Trozei's Espionage encourages the player to close the DS and stick in in their pocket. While the DS sits there in Sleep Mode, it sees out other players using Espionage. The two games exchange "Agent Cards", which include both the player's name and the key to unlocking more Pokémon. I always thought passive multiplayer to be an interesting idea, but really, I never found anyone this way unless it was deliberately set up. Back when I first got Nintendogs, I left my DS in Bark Mode for about thirty minutes, walked all around a local park, and got nothing. Did the same thing in different places several times, and nothing. It was a novel idea, but it didn't really work all that well. Can't blame a company for trying something new, though.

Pokémon Trozei can last a long time if you really get hooked on it. I remember playing it constantly for about two months back when I first got it, and I do believe the same shall happen again now that I've rediscovered it. Puzzle games are great for that kind of thing. If the gameplay formula is good, the game will last you ages. Just look at Tetris and its billion rereleases.

SUMMARY

Storyline: 8.0/10
I like that Genius Sonority decided to get away from the traditional Pokémon story here. Aside from the Pokémon themselves, there's not a single character in this game that has appeared in any other title ever released. Yeah, it's cheesy, but darn it, I like cheesy.

Gameplay: 9.0/10
Genius Sonority struck gold with this gameplay design. Trozei is really addictive, and lining up a big combo is just so darned fulfilling. Definitely a puzzle game in need of a sequel, if just to fill out a little shallowness here and there.

Graphics: 8.3/10
Every one of the 386 Pokémon present are clearly identifiable, each of them just as colourful as the last. Get a good four or five different types on screen, and you almost don't want to advance, lest destroying the beauty. The cinematics drag this category down a bit, though. Sliding backgrounds don't quite cut it anymore.

Audio: 7.5/10
You know, I find it hard to rate the audio on most games unless it's mind-blowing or terrible. Anywhere in between, I'm stumped. I suppose 7.5 best fits Trozei because of the catchy tunes mixed with somewhat underwhelming sound effects.

Multiplayer: 8.3/10
Any puzzle game is great with pals, and Single-Card Download Play just makes it even easier to have fun. I really would have liked some sort of 4+ player mode, though, in addition to the existing 1-on-1.

Longevity: 9.0/10
It's a puzzle game. Seriously, what more needs to be said? As long as a puzzle game is fun, it's pretty much guaranteed to be addictive. I almost wish I hadn't rediscovered Trozei, as now my next few weeks are sure to be little else but sliding Pokémon back and forth. Not quite worth a 10, though. Just doesn't cause the same level of addiction as some of the greats like Tetris and Dr. Mario.

OVERALL: 8.9/10
Pokémon Trozei is a great puzzle game no matter how you look at it. A simple formula is always the best way to go about making an amazing puzzler, and Trozei truly achieved greatness through simplicity. And now, I want a sequel. 493 Pokémon, four-player multiplayer and online mode are just begging to meet with Genius Sonority's DS brainchild.

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Monday, June 23, 2008

A few more animals not yet made into Pokémon

Pokémon Week is go!



By racking my brain I have come up with yet another small selection of animals so that have so far avoided the Pokégrip of Game Freak. These few species should enjoy their freedom as it lasts, since the next generation is surely already being developed...

Koala


This adorable little specimen from Australia would make a good normal-type Pokémon. It would probably have attacks like Scratch, Defense Curl, Pound and Body Slam, and be about the same size as a real koala. It could even evolve into a bigger, meaner koala, with huge arms and a large body. The Koala Pokémon would probably have high health and defense, average attack, and low speed.

And what could this Pokémon be called? I was thinking maybe Kobear, due to the animal commonly being called a "koala bear". Of course, that's just one idea from a guy that's really bad at thinking up names.

Goat


I'm actually a little surprised to have not seen a goat Pokémon yet. It's a sturdy, well-known animal that would be great as another normal-type. Stomp, Take Down, Horn Attack and Rage would definitely be present in its moveset. It would likely have a high attack and speed, average defense, and low health. So, basically, it's a Tauros with different stats.

As for a name, I suppose Ramgoat or something like that would show up. But, as I said before, I really suck with names. It's a darn good thing that you don't often have to make up names when giving one to a child, or else any kid I may have in the future would have a really stupid name. In fact, for the sake of the child's sanity, I'd leave naming to the mother.

Goose


A goose Pokémon would make a great addition to the Pokémon world in my opinion. An excellent candidate for the next water and flying creature, it would have high defense and health, with medium attack and speed. Moves like Water Gun, Peck, Roost and Mist would be perfect for this fixture of Canadian landscape.

As for a name? How about Psychogoose? For some reason, that name rings a bell... And while we're talking about Canada's bird, what of America's?

Eagle


The majestic eagle has surprisingly avoided the eye of Game Freak for all these many years. How much longer until this flying/normal type pops up on our DS screens? My guess is, not much longer at all. With possible attacks like Aerial Ace, Sky Attack, Drill Peck and Wing Attack, this surefire heavy-hitter is a shoo in for generation five. High attack and speed with average defense and health, the eagle really is a perfect fit for a Pokémon.

Now, what to name this one... Sky + Eagle = Skeagle, perhaps? Boy am I bad at this...

Prairie Dog


The noble prairie dog would fit in well with all the other rodent-like Pokémon already present in the game. I suppose it would be best suited as a ground type, since it lives in burrows in the real world. It wouldn't be that outstanding of a Pokémon, though, as it would probably only have a high speed stat, with everything else being average. Possible attacks for this Pokémon would be Dig, Earthquake, Slash and, of course, Glare.

And a name... How about Prairdog? No? Yeah, I didn't think so either.

Lemur


This little guy already seems like a tailor-made Pokémon. Bizarre proportions, insanely cute, and very, very hyperactive. Back away, folks! This is a Pokémon waiting to happen! The lemur Pokémon would probably have good attack and speed stats, with average defense and health. Attacks would likely be centered on tail-based moves, such as Tail Whip, Iron Tail, and so on.

Murtail? Tailmur? Lemurwhozawhatzit? Yeah, I'll just stop trying now.

So, there you have it. A whopping six animals that still evade Game Freak. If the last two editions of this are any indication, I should expect a whole wave of comments tomorrow telling me I'm wrong on at least one of them. Just one of the things I need to get used to, it seems.

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