Poll #58: "Do you have a working NES?" results, banner

"Yes" 10 votes (32%)
"It works sometimes" 2 votes (6%)
"No" 18 votes (58%)
"It might work, but I'm not sure" 1 votes (3%)

Finally, someone else voted "It works sometimes"! I was afraid I was the only one with a temperamental NES for a while there.

As for this week's banner... I think I outdid myself. Now, when I made the site logo last week, the idea for this week's banner popped into my head. I though "Yeah! That's awesome!", but then decided I wouldn't be able to do it right. Well, it seems I was wrong:


Gentlemen, behold! It's the Duck Signal! I just had to do this. What's more, that's a Torontonian skyline. What better city to have my special spotlight but my hometown of Toronto? Man, if only I could pull this off for real. Sure, I'd never get to see it due to how far from downtown I am, but dang... It would be fantastic. News coverage for sure! Maybe some day...

Now then, this week's poll is "Mega Man 9's 8-bit art style: Lazy, or awesome?" People seem to be pretty divided on what they think of this bold new look, or rather, this bold old look. Personally, I think it's awesome. It's like a brand new NES game nobody's played yet! I love it!

Tonight's article will be up in a little while!

The worst final bosses

Think of this as "The greatest final boss battles of all time"'s evil little brother.

Generally a game's story leads up to a huge, amazing battle at the end. Super Mario Galaxy, Metroid Prime and The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time are all fine examples of this. After so much adventuring and fighting, players finally reach the final boss. Really, at this point, we gamers deserve to be treated to an amazing spectacle of game design and storytelling. We want the last part of this game to be the best. Sadly, some games just can't pull it off, leaving us with a disappointing final battle hardly fit for the adventure we just completed.

Link: The Faces of Evil and Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon

Of course, there are some cases where the battle's mediocrity is rivaled only by the rest of the game it's in. Thus is the story of Link: The Faces of Evil and Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon. The resulting bastardization of an ill-fated Nintendo/Phillips partnership, these two games are widely regarded as some of the worst ever made. The final boss battles did nothing to make up for the terrible quality and design of the games themselves. After all this time, all this suffering, you want to really have it out with Ganon. You want to rip his Face of Evil off of him for forcing you to experience this crap pile of a game. And how does the battle go?

"...or else you will DIE!"

One hit, he's down. No, really. In Faces of Evil and Wand of Gamelon, Ganon is defeated either by throwing some book at him, or tossing the Wand of Gamelon into his piggy face. I suppose it's only fitting, though. A crappy end to a crappy game. Alright, enough dwelling on this pustule on the ass of game design.

Super Mario Sunshine

Ah, Sunshine. It's amazing how many people have sad so many bad things about your gameplay, but hardly a peep about your terribly disappointing final boss battle. I'd hardly even consider it to be a battle, come to think of it. What does it entail? Breaking Bowser's hot tub to send him plummeting into some sort of abyss. Yup. Mario basically pushed aside all formalities and caught the man while his pants were down. A classy guy, that Mario.

"Dammit, Mario! This is my 'Me Time'!"

Anyways, throughout the entire "battle", Bowser toasts you with his flame breath as Bullet Bills constantly rain down on you. Is there anyway to hit Bowser? Nope. You don't even get to touch the bugger once in the whole darned battle. A boss battle where you don't even make contact with the enemy can be an interesting design choice if done right, but the thing is, this wasn't done right. Instead of an amazing final battle, we get to see Bowser taking a bath while Mario tears up his floating hot tub. Doesn't this go against some sort of Plumber's Code?

Pokémon Diamond and Pokémon Pearl

The final battle against Cynthia, the Elite Four Champion, is a bad boss fight for a somewhat different reason than the others on this list. The real reason this is here is because of the fact that players have to fight Cynthia. Cynthia, the person we know next to nothing about. Cynthia, the person who appeared about three times previously in the game. Cynthia, who doesn't even seem to matter at all until the time we fight her. Seriously, why her? Couldn't something else have been worked out? I mean, it was a good fight, sure, but I hardly would consider Cynthia a proper final battle. Someone we know a little better would have been nice. Perhaps even a person we thought wasn't even that strong a trainer. Imagine if it turned out to be the starter player we didn't choose. Players who chose to play as Lucas would face Dawn, and vice versa. I would have liked almost anything more than to fight this woman we knew almost nothing about.

Cynthia...? Seriously?

But, maybe I'm just nitpicking here. After all, if Pokémon were to adhere to real-world logic and probability, the chances of the Elite Four Champion being someone you know personally would be insanely low. But after facing Gary, Lance and Steven, I had expected someone more important to the story to be my opponent. Heck, facing off against Professor Oak would have been better. Actually, that's not a bad idea... Game Freak, get working on it!

Final Fantasy

That's right, I'm calling out one of the all-time classics. Well, technically I'm calling out it's Game Boy Advance remake, but close enough. Anyways, Chaos was way too easy. I was in no way overly leveled up or loaded with the best weapons available. I took him on thinking I'd be thoroughly wiped out, but emerged victorious without even breaking a sweat.

Small picture, small threat.

I've heard that the Dawn of Souls remake is far easier than the original title, but still, it's no excuse for a 100% underwhelming and not-at-all-challenging final boss battle. I want it to feel like I'm practically dead as I deliver the final blow, not standing there yawning while swiping my sword at him. Chaos was no challenge at all. He was more intimidating as Garland. "I, Garland, will knock you all down!" Seriously, this is far more cool than anything Chaos ever said or did. Garland should have quit when he was ahead. Or behind. However time travel works.

Discuss this article on the forums

The Duck Has Spoken.

Games that need to be remade

I like new games as much as the next guy. But still, there's some games that have gone by and become lost in the annals of time. These are games I'd love to see remade. Not only for me, but for the new generation of gamers we are beginning to see. People born in the mid- to late-nineties have most likely missed out on the fruits of gaming's heyday. What better way to acquaint them with the past of gaming than a remake? So, without further ado, here are some games I think are well worth a remake.

Pokémon Gold and Silver Versions

Released in 2000, these two games are the most recent of the titles in this article. Introducing these games seems somewhat pointless, since we know both of them so well (At least I hope we do!). But, just in case, here's the basic rundown.

Like Pokémon Red, Blue and Yellow before them, Pokémon Gold and Silver were all about what fans of the series have come to love: Catching 'em all! With 100 new Pokémon (Bringing the grand total to 251), there was more to do than ever before.

Along with new Pokémon, Gold and Silver added a few other features that would later become recurring trends in the Pokémon series. First, they added the PokéGear. Worn like a watch, this handy little computer served as a phone and a radio, among other things. This would later return in Ruby and Sapphire as the Pokénav, and again in Diamond and Pearl as the Pokétch. This multi-tool, although somewhat of a novelty in the second generation, served as the base for so much more.

Another added feature was an internal clock, which would keep track of real-world time. Whenever it became late in real life, the lights would come on, and the environment would darken. Depending on what time of day it was, certain Pokémon would become more or less common, some of which will appear exclusively at a certain time of the day. Also, depending on the time of day, a properly cared-for Eevee could evolve into either an Espeon or an Umbreon.

Pokémon Gold and Silver added much to the Pokémon universe. But what could be added to them to entice veterans of the series to buy it again? Well, I'm thinking that we'd see a fully redone version of Kanto (The location of Red, Blue and Yellow) instead of the shrunken, stripped-down version we got in addition to Johto in the second game.

Also, the game would be fully compatible with Pokémon Diamond and Pearl, allowing for trading and battling between the two. This would make it far easier for Diamond and Pearl players when it came to finishing their Pokédex.

Of course, the game would also need to be entirely compatible with the Diamond and Pearl Global Trade System (GTS). If that's not possible, then it would at least need a similar service of it's own. I just can't imagine Pokémon without the GTS anymore!

There's a huge demand for a Pokémon Gold and Silver remake, and the potential is almost as great. I only hope the Nintendo and Game Freak have realized this as well.

The Legend of Zelda

Originally released way back in 1986, the closest it's ever gotten to a remake is BS Zelda no Densetsu on the Super Famicom's Satellaview game service. Sure, it's been re-released on the Virtual Console, but I'm still dying for an enhanced remake.

The Legend of Zelda was an amazing adventure title for the NES/Famicom, introducing many new features then unheard of in video games. It pioneered the overworlds and dungeons we see all the time nowadays, and it practically created the free-roaming aspect of games that we don't even seem to notice anymore. Without The Legend of Zelda, the world of gaming would be very different indeed.

So what could be done to this already amazing game to make it worth buying over the Virtual Console port? First of all, it would have entirely revamped graphics, taking full advantage of whatever console it's developed for. If made for the Wii, it could have waggle-controls for sword movement, and a DS version could be controlled like Phantom Hourglass.

Additional sidequests and such would also be added, with the possibility of entirely new maps exclusive to the remake. And perhaps, in similar fashion of the Link to the Past remake, this version could share a game card/disc with a brand-new Four Swords game! Whether this remake happens on the Wii or the DS, there'll be plenty of space left over for an entire secondary game.

The Legend of Zelda could become a powerhouse title for the Wii or the DS, and I hope Nintendo has noticed this. A remake is far overdue, and I've been dreaming of such a thing ever since the Link to the Past GBA port. It can be done, and if I have any say in it (Which I don't), it will be done.

Final Fantasy VII

Of course, it would just be wrong to write an article like this and leave out the amazing triumph of RPG design that is Final Fantasy VII. This game deserves every ounce of praise it gets, and I only wish I owned a copy of my own so I could play it all over again. All three glorious CDs of it...

Anyways, for those unfamiliar with Final Fantasy VII (FOR SHAME!!!), here's the basics. As with all the other numbered Final Fantasy games before it, Final Fantasy VII was an incredibly in-depth and fleshed out RPG. Being the first ever on the Playstation, and possibly more importantly, first ever Final Fantasy in 3D, VII had some big expectations to live up to. And did it fill those shoes?

In a word: DEFINITELY.

With it's new Materia system, Final Fantasy VII made it easier than ever before to customize your characters any way you wanted. Want Cloud to cast Thunder? Sure thing. Feel like having Cid unleash Bahamut? Go right ahead. Final Fantasy VII gave you an incredible amount of control over how your characters were structured, and it's been overcome very few times to this day.

To top it all off, it had an amazing story that was incredibly epic in both scale and length. What starts off as "fighting the power" eventually escalates into an adventure to save the very planet they live on. Final Fantasy VII's story is still ingrained in my mind to this very day.

So then, if this game's so epic and amazing, what could they possibly do to improve upon it? Of course, we're gonna be seeing some beefed-up graphics. Just imagine if Final Fantasy VII was remade for the PS3 (Which is looking to be the most likely candidate as of now). All that raw power put into making the characters from one of history's greatest RPGs look the way we've always dreamed, and bringing them to life like never before... I don't know about you, but that would sure get me thinking about buying a PS3!

As for actual content, I'm not sure what could be added... The original title itself was already so expansive! And I'm sure a change too radical would anger the fans... For this particular section, I'm going to have to leave the genius up to Square-Enix. They do know what's best for the game, after all. Well, if it even exists or ever will exist, that is.

And it has to exist! Come on, Dirge of Cerberus, Advent Children and Before Crisis can't possibly exist without a Final Fantasy VII remake! ...right?

The Duck Has Spoken.

The highs and lows of Mario's game career

Gee, who didn't see this coming? A Mario article? Right before a major Mario game is released? Blasphemous!



Mario's been climbing ladders, slaying baddies and getting the girl for more than 20 years now. Most of his adventures are hits, while others fall short. Tonight, I'm going to separate the good from the bad.

The Highs

Super Mario 64 was one of the first 3D games I ever played, and it's likely the best as well. The level design was brilliant, and the number of mission was astounding. Even more, the controls were perfect, allowing gaming to take it's first true steps into the 3D realm. The analog stick and C buttons manipulated Mario and the camera perfectly, in a way yet unrivaled to this day.

There were 15 mains stages with 6 missions each, as well as several hidden missions and bonus levels. This resulted in an incredibly long and game, but it never went stale. Even having to replay several sections of the same level over and over never got old, and even the smallest stages felt absolutely gigantic due to the insane amount of content crammed into them.

Super Mario 64 has been called the Nintendo 64's best game, Mario's best game, and even the best game of all time. No argument here.




Super Mario World was packaged with the Super Nintendo Entertainment System as a way of demonstrating the console's abilities, and Nintendo couldn't have picked a better title. Super Mario World was both dramatically different from the first three games, as well as exactly the same. All the original run and jump gameplay was present, along with new features such as Yoshi riding, the Cape Feather and the spin jump.

Super Mario World featured 72 levels in total, several of which have secret exits. These secret exits lead to shortcuts, power-ups, and even entirely new areas. Just getting to the last stage and defeating Bowser wasn't enough to complete this game!

Super Mario World set out to show of just what the Super Nintendo could do, and it did so beautifully. Definitely deserves a spot on any gamer's shelf.




Super Mario Bros. 3 was the last major Mario game released for the Nintendo Entertainment System, and the old 8-bit console sure went out on a high note. In addition to keeping all the great gameplay from it's predecessors, Super Mario Bros. 3 also added several more aspects like an overworld map, the Tanooki suit and an item inventory.

Super Mario Bros. 3 sported eight different worlds, each with a large selection of levels. There were also sometimes Hammer Bros. roaming the overworld, and running into them triggered a mini-level, pitting Mario against one or two Hammer Bros. The newly introduced feather and Tanooki power-ups enabled Mario to take to the skies and fly for a short time, often revealing hidden areas and treasures.

Super Mario Bros. 3 gave the Nintendo Entertainment System a great send-off, and this classic is still as addictive as ever to this day.

Honorable mentions: Super Mario Bros. 1, New Super Mario Bros., Donkey Kong

The Lows

The Gamecube's launch marked a first in Nintendo history, as it didn't share a release date with a major Mario game. When Super Mario Sunshine did finally come along, the majority of gamers were left unpleased.

In addition to the familiar 3D platforming of Super Mario 64, Sunshine introduced the Flash Liquidizer Ultra Dousing Device, or F.L.U.D.D. Held like a backpack, F.L.U.D.D was used to spray away grime and enemies among Isle Delfino. It also functioned as a water-powered jetpack. Needless to say, this is an incredible departure from normal Mario gameplay.

Personally, I liked Super Mario Sunshine. But, I didn't feel the same way as I did when I played Super Mario 64 or Super Mario Bros. 3. It was too different to be a Mario game. While a decent title, it's still considered a low-point of Mario's career.




Super Mario Bros. 2 was released in Japan in 1986. It featured all of the same gameplay from the original game, as well as the same art and graphical style. The Super Mario Bros. 2 released in North America, however, was entirely different.

Instead of the "too difficult" Super Mario Bros. 2, the rest of the world instead received a Mario-skinned port of Doki Doki Panic. In place of Fire Flowers, Goombas and Bowser were Turnips, Snifits and Wart. Also, Mario could no longer defeat enemies by merely jumping on them. He had to resort to picking up objects or other monsters and hurling them at his foes. And instead of being restricted to playing as only the portly plumber, players now were able to choose between Mario, Luigi, Princess Toadstool and Toad at the beginning of each stage. Each character acted somewhat differently, varying in ways such as jump height, speed and strength.

Again, like Super Mario Sunshine, this was just far too weird to be taken as a quality Mario title. I'm up for innovation and all, but Super Mario Bros. 2 was just too much of a change for me. Not a fan at all.

Mario's been on many adventures throughout the years, but no game character is immune to bad game design. Thankfully the highs far outweigh the lows, or else we'd have plenty of angry fanboys on our hands. Super Mario Galaxy is looking to be another great title to add to the pudgy Italian's resume next week. Here's to many more great Mario games!

The Duck Has Spoken.

Classic Obsessions: Vol. 2

Sequel to this article. ENJOY THEM BOTH!



Some games never get old, no matter how many times you play them and no matter how long ago they were released. Very few games can stand this harsh test of time, but those that do become some of the greatest pieces of software in history. Here are a few games I just can't get enough of.

Tetris

Originally created by Alexey Pajitnov back in 1985, Tetris has since evolved to be the most widespread of all puzzle games. Having been released on almost every game console ever made, you'd be hard pressed to find even one person who has not played this gem of a puzzler.

Tetris is one of those games that's simple to understand, but incredibly difficult to master. The premise is basic: Simply place blocks (Or "Tetriminoes") in a solid horizontal row to destroy the line, earning points. Every tenth line destroyed gets you to the next level of the game, causing the pieces to fall even faster than before. If the stack of Tetriminoes reaches the top of the screen, rendering you unable to proceed, the game ends. Again, simple to understand, incredibly difficult to master!

Recently I've been playing Tetris on one of my two original Game Boys, and I just can't get enough of it! Left, right, rotate, drop, rotate, rotate, drop, right, right, drop... It's all so hypnotically engrossing! If I were better at it, I could play for hours on end. As it stands now, I still have yet to pass level 4... Oh well, guess I'd better practice some more!

Super Mario Bros.

What can be said about this game that hasn't already been said many times before? It's simply a brilliant piece of gaming history, and undoubtedly the greatest cartridge ever released for the NES.

The simplicity of it all only adds to it's charm. Jump, run, duck, power-up, run, fire! I love it all so much! It's definitely worth the two and a half hours of smacking, blowing and praying needed to get the ol' NES up and running! The Virtual Console works, too, but it can't beat the feeling of firing up that grand old 8-bit console of yore!

No more words are needed here.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

Really, is there any question? This is undoubtedly one of the best games I have ever played. Heck, it very well might be THE best game I have ever played!

Ocarina of Time successfully brought the Zelda franchise into the three-dimensional realm. It completely enhanced all that made the previous Zelda games great by such a large degree, it's widely considered to be the greatest game of all time. Not only does it hold that honour, I truly believe this game to be one of the most timeless adventures ever created. I've played it so many times, much of the game has been etched into my mind permanently! I still remember how to get through the Lost Woods, how to avoid the Hyrule guards, and how to play nearly every song on the ocarina!

Starting off as an unpopular, unloved village child and becoming the greatest hero in history is the greatest success story ever written! The Hero of Time's exploits echo throughout the ages, and have been referenced in nearly every Zelda game since. Wind Waker, Majora's Mask, Twilight Princess, Phantom Hourglass, all of them make reference in at least one way to the greatness of the Hero of Time.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of time is a game that I could literally play over and over, end to end, uninterrupted, for hours upon hours!

So those are three more games I just can't ever play enough times! What games do you find yourself constantly revisiting, no matter how many times you've played it?

The Duck Has Spoken.

Best game music ever

Sorry about no article yesterday. 'Twas Labour Day, and I didn't feel like thinking. But today is back to normal, so here we are.



Hum a few bars of the original Super Mario Bros. theme in a public place, and I guarantee almost everybody around you will know exactly where that song is from. Perhaps the only thing about gaming more mainstream than the games themselves is the music that accompanies each title. From the days of the Nintendo Entertainment System right up to this moment, games have been featuring some of the greatest music I've ever heard. Here are a few games who's music I consider to be the cream of the crop.

Super Mario Bros. 3

In my opinion, Super Mario Bros. 3 is one of the greatest video games ever made. And what better way to amplify the greatness of a title than with an amazing soundtrack? Back in the days in which this game was released, the music was usually little more than an afterthought. But Nintendo went the extra mile to make each and every part of this game memorable, down to the oft-ignored musical score.

Some notable tunes: Grassland, Hammer Bros. and Underwater music

We Love Katamari

Not to be outdone by the wacky gameplay, the music in We Love Katamari is just as insane. Crazy upbeat J-Pop and freaky Japanese rock are all throughout this title, and all of which are amazing. The music in this game is insanely memorable, and is overrunning my MP3 player as we speak. Just can't get enough of this crazy Katamari!

Some notable tunes: Katamari on the Swing, Everlasting Love and Sasasan Katamari

Animal Crossing/Wild World

How could I write a list like this and exclude a game such as Animal Crossing? A major part of both Animal Crossing games is collecting all of K.K Slider's music bootlegs. Not only is collecting them fun, but the music is great! Sure, meeting up with K.K every Saturday may feel like a chore sometimes, but it's all more than worth it in the end.

Some notable tunes: Surfin' K.K, K.K Western and Totakeke's Song

Phoenix Wright/Ace Attorney

Phoenix Wright may not excel in visuals, but it sure as heck sounds amazing! From investigation to interrogation, the music always fits the situation perfectly. And not only is the music fitting, it's great to listen to as well! I only wish there was a sound test of sorts available so I could listen to all my favorite tracks as long as I wish... Oh well, I suppose earning the music makes it all the sweeter!

Some notable tunes: Tense Situation, Steel Samurai and victory music

Final Fantasy VII

Like Super Mario Bros. 3, Final Fantasy VII is one of my favorite games ever made. And also like Super Mario Bros. 3, Final Fantasy VII has some of the greatest music I've ever heard as well. Three discs of adventure add up to one lengthy soundtrack, and a great one at that. Perhaps one day Square-Enix will surprise us with a remake of this decade-old gem. Until then, I've got the music to keep me busy!

Some notable tunes: Motorcycle Chase, Shinra's Theme and Hurrying Music

So then, those are a few games that are just music to my ears! Although words cannot do justice to these awesome songs. Go and play the games for yourself, and then you'll hear them in all their glory!

The Duck Has Spoken.

Classic obsessions

The Mario Strikers Charged review will most likely be up tomorrow. I may push it back to Friday if I don't get enough play time by tomorrow night, but you guys will have the review by the end of the week for sure. For now, here's a totally different article!



Some games just never get old, no matter how many times you play them or how many years they've been available for. Like a good book, some games just draw you back in again and again, to re-experience gripping tales, epic adventures or zany antics. Here are a few games that have had such an effect on me. (NOTE: For it to be considered a "classic", it must have been released on a system prior to the PS2/GCN/XBox/DC generation)

Dr. Mario

One of the first games I've ever played in my whole life, Dr. Mario sticks in my mind for many reasons. Beyond nostalgia, the greatest factor in this game's staying power is how amazingly fun it is! Many people look down on Dr. Mario as it's simpler and easier than, say, Tetris or Puzzle League. While I appreciate all of these franchises, there's just some sort of hidden charm in Dr. Mario that draws me to it. Whether it's the excitement at barely passing a stage or the frustration of messing up a game-winning combo, there's just some sort of unknown feeling that overcomes me when working with the good doctor. I often work for upwards of half an hour trying to fire up my old NES, just to cram in a few scant minutes of germ-busting mayhem! However, since it seems my Dr. Mario cartridge is no longer functional, I'll have to wait for some other alternative to come along *Cough* Virtual Console *Cough*.

Pokémon Snap

Of all the spin-off Pokémon games released so far, I must say that Snap is my favorite. While it sounds like a really stupid premise on the surface (Taking pictures of Pokémon? WTF, mate?), when you really get into it you find there's a lot more then simply aiming and snapping. You have to take into account what the Pokémon's doing, how much of the frame it takes up, which ways it's facing, and more. Getting the perfect pic is nearly impossible, and it's that lofty goal that keeps me coming back for more! Also, the game's just plain fun, with puzzles and secrets around nearly every bend. If you ever see this sitting in a flea market, buy it. It rocks, and I'm almost sure you'd agree, too.

Roller Coaster Tycoon

"Oh noes, a NON-Nintendo game on a top ten classics list written by PsychoDuck? It can't be!" Oh, but it is. Roller Coaster Tycoon is possibly the greatest PC game I've ever played, and is definitely in my top 50 overall. Building things and watching people move through it has always been a fascination of mine, from The Sims to Sim City to plain old ant farms. Add in the creativity-pushing roller coaster building modes, and you pretty much have everything I love all in one game! I think the only thing debatable here is whether it's Roller Coaster Tycoon or RollerCoaster Tycoon...

What are some classic games you just can't seem to put down?

The Duck Has Spoken.