PSP Go "announced": I am not shaken, nor am I stirred

Consider this a bonus article, as the "announcement" came out halfway through me writing PokéOddities


The next in the line of Sony's Playstation Portable was unexpectedly (For both us and Sony, I'm sure) "announced" today, and it's called the PSP Go. Kind of an awkward name, but I'm currently playing Wii everyday, so I suppose I shouldn't be talking.

Looking at the design of the system, the sliding "control panel" is pretty nice. Helps keep those buttons out of the way, and allows for a nice, compact shape when watching movies. The downside to this, though, is that the screen is out there all the time, just begging to be scratched. If this doesn't ship with some sort of system sleeve of even the flimsiest quality, you can bet there'll be no screen unscratched within a few months of this handheld's release, no matter how carefully it's cared for.

One of the most important parts of a handheld system is how well it fits in the hand. If it's a rough-edged, sharp-cornered brick, it's not going to be staying in a gamer's grip for very long. Of course, the PSP Go is far from this, sporting rounded edges and smooth lines. It's kind of hard to tell from the few images so-far released, but I'd say it won't be uncomfortable, nor incredibly comfortable. Somewhere right in the middle looks to be how the PSP Go will feel.

Speaking of comfort, I see one thing in the above picture I really hoped I wouldn't be seeing in a new PSP; That cursed thumbstick. Not only is it back and not-at-all changed from the original models (As far as I can tell, at least), there's still only one of them. Some argue that this is the case so as to avoid and sort of divide among PSP and PSP Go owners. Without second-analog support, all games will be compatible with all iterations of the handheld. Which makes sense, I guess, except for an important fact about the PSP Go I'll be bringing up in a moment...

Unless the guy in the picture above has incredibly huge hands, the PSP Go is smaller than the PSP by a slight amount. Not in a terribly-significant way, but people do seem to go nuts over the new, smallest version of, well, everything. Oh, us easily won-over consumers...

Despite being smaller, the PSP Go has actually has on-board memory, as opposed to the original models requiring memory sticks for storage. Now users can store all their music, movies and PSP Go games right on the system itself. No, you're not hallucinating; I said "PSP Go games". This brings us to the above-mentioned "important fact" that...

The PSP Go has no UMD slot. At all. There is no way for the games from the original PSP to be playable on the Go ("On the Go": Slogan, anyone?). All PSP Go games will only be available as downloads from the system's branch of the Playstation Store. Planning on upgrading from your old PSP to this new model? Might want to keep the old one on hand, unless you plan on re-buying all your games digitally.

That point there, to me, is the PSP Go's biggest flaw. I don't believe the world is ready for a game system that's entirely digital in the way of purchasing software. Some may mention the iPhone as an argument, but really, that's the iPhone. No iPhone game can compare to PSP software in complexity and depth, not to mention price. What does this say about PSP Go software? One of three things (With 1 being the most probable, and 3 being the least):

1. PSP Go software will be every bit as complex and deep as that of the original PSP, and will cost the full, store shelf price of $50 apiece, or...
2. PSP Go software will be far more basic than that of the original PSP, and generally cost less than $30 apiece, or...
   
3. PSP Go Software will be every bit as complex and deep as that of the original PSP, but will be cheaper, rarely costing more than $30 apiece.
   

Now then, why did I arrange them in that order of probability? Simple: Sony loves their cash. I can honestly see them releasing only crummy little WiiWare-level games more easily than I can imagine them charging less than premium for their software. While I may think that downloaded games should cost less than retail, I'm not the cash-monster that is Sony. Then again, they're not against taking losses (See: PS3 launch price as opposed to PS3 production cost as of launch), but still, I'm not exactly seeing it happening.

Looking at all the PSP Go has to offer... I think I'd more gladly buy an original PSP than jump on this bandwagon, which means a lot considering how unimpressed I am with the handheld line as it is. Sorry, Sony, but when it comes to my handheld entertainment, I think I'll continue to "Go" elsewhere.

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PokéOddities

I know I said that I was through with Pokémon, but... Apparently Pokémon wasn't through with me. Curse you, Game Freak!


Pokémon has made a few appearances in my "Gaming Oddities" series of articles, but after picking up Diamond again, I realize that it deserves a list all its own. There's just too much about this series that doesn't make sense. First off...

Pokémon: A proud supporter of interspecies relationships

-Trainer Jim sent out Smoochum!
-"Go, Charmander!"
-The foe's Smoochum used Attract!
-Charmander became infatuated!
-"...what."

Apparently Poltergeist isn't standard viewing at Game Freak HQ

Normal-type attacks do no damage to Ghost-type Pokémon. Okay, fine, that makes perfect sense. But Ghost-type attacks do no damage to Normal-type Pokémon? Take a seat, please, Mr. Tajiri. See, common stories involving ghosts not only include them scaring the crap out of humans (Sometimes literally), they also sometimes involve the ghosts making physical contact with their victims. Hence, Ghost-types can effect Normal-type Pokémon... Unless Earth is entirely populated by psychics, body-builders, goths, dragons, fire-eaters, swimmers... You get the idea.

Just got your butt kicked by that wild Skarmory? Don't worry, he's also a licensed air ambulance!

Having all your Pokémon knocked-out in battle causes you yourself to pass out and reappear at the last-visited PokéCenter. If that's not odd enough, how about the never-explained mode of transportation that miraculously teleports you to safety? It seems even the most wild of Pokémon has it in them to take you to that safe haven known as a PokéCenter while you're dozing off.

Perhaps even stranger is the fact that losing to a member of the local crime syndicate yields the same results. You'd think the group would rather jail you up to keep you quiet rather than push you out the front door and let you tell the whole world what they're up to. No wonder they're always so incompetent.

Alakazam has an IQ of over 5000 and a perfect memory, but does he know why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

Alakazam is, by far, the most intelligent of all Pokémon. With an IQ of over 5000 and brain cells that multiply up until the day he dies (According to Pokédex entries throughout history), this Pokémon's intelligence and memory are unmatched by anything else. Alakazam has been referred to as "a living supercomputer" many times throughout the series. So if Alakazam is so smart and has such an incredibly memory... Why can he only learn four moves? Whenever a new attack is to be learned, Alakazam must "forget" a previous one. So much for that perfect memory.

The Pokédex: Simultaneously empty and all-knowing

At the beginning of Pokémon Red/Blue/Yellow, Professor Oak gives the player a blank Pokédex. A Pokédex which he says is blank. Yet capturing any Pokémon suddenly fills it with the extent of the world's knowledge on the species. Doesn't make much sense, does it? So let's say that the Pokédex isn't blank, and instead contains all information relating to every known Pokémon. Why must we "unlock" said information by viewing the relevant Pokémon? It would be so much more helpful to know the types of all the Pokémon we're facing before we get into a fight with them.

So then, either Professor Oak is lying to us about the Pokédex being blank, or it's an amazingly perceptive and ground-breakingly intelligent device. Either way doesn't make much sense, does it?

Shoot first, then maybe breathe fire and bite later

The second generation of Pokémon brought with it many significant additions to the series. Genders, breeding, different Pokémon types, and perhaps most notably, a day/night cycle based on the real-world clock. This one feature introduced Pokémon that would only appear at certain times of day and a police force that becomes incredibly irritable when the sun sets. So much as walk in front of these "officers of the law" and you'll be forced into a Pokémon battle with them. Apparently the cops of Johto are of the "guilty until proven innocent" mindset.

Maybe things just materialize as needed?

The mountainous terrain, patches of tall grass and many rocks along the routes of the Pokémon world make for an interesting adventure... But spell disaster for any sort of vehicular transportation. Despite this, though, people miraculously have access to all sorts of technology and resources, no matter how incredibly difficult it may be to get there. Just look at the below image. East of Lavaridge are impassable cliffs and a path through a rocky and craggy mountain side. I'll never know why anyone ever settled in Lavaridge...

How the people of Lavaridge get anything at all boggles the mind

Land vehicles are certainly out of the question when it comes to shipping goods about (Yeah, right, tell that to the player's moving truck in the beginning of Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald...), so what about air? Nothing can stop the helicopters and planes of the world from flying overhead... Although plenty stops them from ever landing. All four regions in the main series are completely devoid of airstrips and helipads, so unless the entire shipping world is dominated by bush pilots, air is out of the question, too.

Heck, I think the only time there's ever been any sort of feasible means of shipment was via sea in Hoenn, and even then it was limited to the Eastern half of the territory. So... Maybe they rigged something up with the Pokéball teleporters to transport goods? Until I see proof, I'm gonna label that a theory and stick with the idea of people just randomly getting everything they need from thin air.

All Pokémon come with complimentary off-screen interpreter

"Go, Pikachu!"
"اخترت لكم ، Pikachu!"
"私は、ピカチュウを選ぶ！"
"Elegir usted, Pikachu!"
"Je vous choisissez, Pikachu!"
"Ζήτω για το Google μεταφραστή, Pikachu!"

No matter how you say it, they understand it. So not only can Pokémon understand the words of all other Pokémon, they can understand every single language known to man as well. It seems Alakazam isn't the only one that qualifies as a "living supercomputer"...

"Hi, I'm Dory"

Beating the Pokémon League for the first time is a great, fulfilling achievement. You've managed to take out what are (Often) the five toughest opponents in the game, in a row, with no breaks. Such an upset is sure to send ripples through the land, and those once-elite four are sure to have some choice words for you upon your return to the League, right?

Well, no, not really. It seems everyone at the Pokémon League suffers from a severe case of short term memory loss, since they never seem to recall you having beaten them before. An amazing feat, really, since the Hall of Fame records accessible at any PC in the world can say you've defeated them. So not only do the Elite Four have no memory whatsoever, they don't even have an internet connection. Also, why do we have to take out the "champion" each additional time we challenge the League? Shouldn't the title belong to the player at this point? Maybe Gary just gets his Alakazam to brainwash everyone so he can keep his position as number one...

And now for something completely different...


If that doesn't look like a man lying down yet "standing up", I'm a monkey's desk lamp. I think the ESRB was asleep that day.

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Another year, another sappy "thank you" post

May 28th, 2007: The day this blog began. The first ever article appeared on One Duck's Opinion, a review for Pokémon Diamond. Two years later, and Pokémon Diamond is just one of 462 posts here. Much has happened to One Duck's Opinion these last two years...

One Duck's Opinion gained a deal with THQ to review their games (A deal which has sadly just about dried up). The site also widened its focus from just Nintendo to PC games, and eventually (And somewhat silently) opened up to the entire industry (Although still focusing mainly on Nintendo). Post frequency shifted dramatically downwards from daily to a once or twice a week, but quality has certainly gone up. Over the last two years, this blog has certainly carved out its own nice little niche, garnering an average of some 200 unique hits a day (Double that of this time last year). Like I said in the first anniversary post, triple digit numbers may not seem like much, but to a mere opinion blogger like me, it's quite stunning. Sure, a bunch of these may be bots and Google Image results (In fact, I have proof pointing to both), but it's still a great milestone to have reached.

While many of those hits may be bots, Google Image search results and spiders and such, the few that are actual human beings coming here to see what I have to say mean a lot to me. The fact that you folks stick with me through the constant periods of no updates at all and the rampant delays is pretty awesome. So yeah, this is the "sappy 'thank you'" part of the post.

Next week brings us E3, and you can count on plenty of posting for the next little while (Even tomorrow and Saturday maybe?). May those droughts be a thing of the past, and the one thing to be left behind in this new year!

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Project Memory Status: Complete

So then, it's finally here. The Video Formerly Known as Project Memory, AKA: I Remember Larry, primarily based on the Weird Al Yankovic song of the same name, is complete, and uploaded to Youtube. Now then, instead of blabbing endlessly about the video, here it is. Enjoy.

Direct Link

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Poll #90: "Did you buy Excitebots: Trick Racing?" results, no banner

"Yes, at full price" 4 votes (26%)
"Yes, at a discount" 1 vote (6%)
"Yes, but I sold it" 0 votes (0%)
"No, but I did rent it" 0 votes (0%)
"No, but I played it" 1 vote (6%)
"No." 9 votes (60%)

A real shame... Excite Bots is a fantastic, off-the-wall racer that I really hate myself for not reviewing. One of these days I will, and it shall be awesome, and you will all buy it in response to it. I hope.

As for this week's banner... There isn't a new one! Two major reasons for this. First, Punch-Out! is awesome and deserves the exposure. Second, cramming on Project Memory has sapped all my creativity. Good news involving the latter shall be coming tomorrow, though, so I suppose that's some consolation.

For this week's banner, the question is "Who do you expect will have the best conference at E3?" It's that time of the year again, and with it comes the speculation that's almost as fun as playing the games themselves. My rampant speculation shall be coming closer to the big event, but now the question is for you. Nintendo, Sony or Microsoft; Who will have the greatest showing this year? With Nintendo completely dying in the water last year, and the latter two performing respectably in their own conferences, last year was interesting, but not exactly mind-blowing. Could this year be different, and could the prize of best-conference change hands? Hey, I don't know. But get votin', and we'll see what the majority think!

More stuff coming tomorrow, so hang on...