DSi dumps Rumble Pak support: Nobody notices or cares

This is basically a big pile of rambling. You have been warned.


I remember that the big thing people complained about when the DSi was revealed was the lack of a GBA slot (Well, that and the crappy cameras, but that's another story). However, I never heard a peep on the subject of the now obsolete Rumble Pak. As I ate dinner at the local burger joint a few nights ago, I sat and thought "Well, why didn't they just build one into the DSi? Hmm, I should write that up!" So I got home, walked halfway to my bedroom and thought "Wait, why bother putting rumble in the DSi? In fact, what good has rumble ever done for a portable system?" I had a very good question in need of answering.

Made popular on the Nintendo 64 by Star Fox 64, rumble offered a new level of immersion to any game. You can see it on your TV, hear it through the speakers, and now feel it through the rumble. Hell, throw in the ability to smell and taste and you've got all the senses covered! Just... Turn those features off when playing in any sewer levels.

When it gets taken down to the handhelds, though... It's as if some of the magic is taken away. Maybe it's the smaller screen, maybe it's the inferior graphics, maybe it's the decreased punch delivered by the tiny rumble pak, or maybe it's just the fact that the screen and controller are on the same piece of plastic. Whatever it is, something's just different and, well, wrong, in an impossible-to-define way. It just doesn't deliver the same amount of immersion.

In the past I was fascinated by rumble in handhelds, but looking back I can't really see why. Perhaps it's because I never had the opportunity to hold that legendary Nintendo 64 Rumble Pak in my hands. Perhaps it's because, up until 2003 or so, I'd never played a single console game with rumble implemented. I was a little late to the console rumble party, it would seem. Before I got my hands on a DualShock 2, handhelds were the only places where I'd experienced rumble, and even then my only exposure to it was in the form of Pokémon Pinball. I was fascinated by the way my entire Game Boy Color would shake as the ball bounced all over the table. Looking back, though, it was more of a tiny little addition hardly worth the AAA battery needed to power it. The only reason I enjoyed it was the novelty of the idea, the fact that I had the power of rumble in my little Game Boy Color. If I were to dig out my old copy of Pokémon Pinball today and play it, I wouldn't even care about the rumble. Heck, if the AAA battery in there is dead, I wouldn't even bother replacing it, except perhaps for old time's sake.

Oh, the memories...

Thinking back, the only use of rumble in a handheld game that stood out to me even in the slightest was in Star Fox Command. Instead of just rumbling, the Rumble Pak also shook in such a way as to create sound effects syncing up with the action in game. When charging a blast and firing, the rumble would slowly ramp up in intensity and volume, then let out a loud "VRRRUMP!" as the blast is fired. Not even console games have managed to use rumble in such a way, meaning this is the only time in all of gaming history in which handheld rumble has been superior to that of a console. Other than this, though, rumble has really done nothing for the handheld industry besides drain batteries.

What really gets me, though, is the fact that I've never heard a single person share these thoughts. Am I needlessly bitter? Are people just saying so without me hearing? Do people just think so little of rumble in handhelds that they don't even bother talking about it? Or am I just missing the point altogether? Well, it's time to find out with this simple question: What do you guys think? Has rumble in a handheld game ever been that great? Let me know in the comment section or this forum thread, and together we shall find out!

Pokémon: Why it needs to go back to go forward

I love the Pokémon series of games. Ever since I first got Pokémon Yellow way back in 1999, I've been hooked. I pick up each new game in the main series as soon as possible, even buying Gold Version and Diamond Version on their release dates. I have just about as much fun now as I did all those years ago, but something is starting to feel different about the series. It's not quite like the game I got for Christmas almost a decade ago. I really feel that, in some ways, Pokémon needs to go back to go forward.

First of all, I really hate how nice the rivals are now. I remember back in Pokémon Red, Blue and Yellow, how Gary Oak use to say "Smell ya later, gramps!" and "You stinker! I took it easy on you!". He was a jerk, and you really wanted to put him in his place. But now, the rivals are nice. You don't want to fight them. They're good sports, they encourage you to get better, hell, they're mostly childhood friends! I wish we could go back to the way things were in the first two generations, with jerks like Gary Oak and the mysterious red-haired kid.

Unlike Dawn and Lucas, the jerky crook in the second generation
was a rival you really wanted to beat the crap out of.

And what's the deal with how complicated the Pokémon contests have gotten? In Ruby, Sapphire and Emerald, it was as simple as entering and using appropriate moves to wow the judges. But in Diamond and Pearl, that hardly even seems like the focus of the contest any more. First, you have to dress up your Pokémon (What?). This is a really weird and somewhat abstract step, as your asked to dress them according to such bizarre themes as "The Alive", or some crap like that. They don't even tell you what class each accessory falls under, just to go ahead and slap some crap on your Pokémon.

And then there's the dance competition, which is just plain odd, and incredibly easy. For the first three turns, you mimic the moves of the lead dancer Pokémon, and on the fourth turn you perform your own dance. Except they aren't really dances, but more like timed button taps on the lower screen corresponding to one of four colours/directions. These just take away from what should be the main focus of the Pokémon contests, which is the actual competition stage.

One more thing that's really changed for the worst over the last three generations is the slot machine mini-game. In the original games, they were as easy as lining up the right symbols to win credits. But now there's things like bonus time and weird countdowns and stuff... What happened to the actual slot machine part? Other than the timed button-presses to stop each individual reel, there's almost nothing in the current slot machines like that in the originals. My dad always used to ask to play around in the slot machines in Yellow, but I think that all these changes and complications would only turn him away from them now. In fact, they're even turning me away. I've barely spent any time at all in the Game Corner in Diamond. Can't slot machines just be slot machines again?

And what's with all these weird and somewhat useless HMs? What the heck is with Defog? There's only one, maybe two places in the entirety of Pokémon Diamond where there's fog to disperse, and it just seems like an excuse to make up a new move. Not only that, but Defog is practically useless in battle. All it did was take up space in my Empoleon's moveset. I think they could have done well without the thick fog, and thusly without this useless HM. They could have easily gone with a light fog and gotten the same atmospheric effect, but without the annoying space-waster that is Defog.

Defog's not the only problem with the current HMs. What's the point of Rock Climb? It just serves as an annoyance to me. These climbing sections could have easily been replaced with, say, a staircase or ladder. As for serving as a way to impede progress until later on in the game, I'm sure something else could have been worked out. Anything to avoid the uninspired Rock Climb HM.

In fact, what if we just went back to how it was in the beginning, with five HMs? Cut, Fly, Surf, Strength and Flash were all good enough for me. I wouldn't mind if they added in one or two of the newer HMs like Waterfall or Rock Smash, just for a bit of variety. Just no "clone" HMs, like Defog and Rock Climb are. After all, they're just variations on Flash and Waterfall, respectively.

While the core gameplay of Pokémon has gotten nothing but better, there are so many parts of it that have done little but get worse. Making things complicated isn't always how you move forward with a franchise. Quite often, it's just the opposite. In Pokémon's case, I sincerely think that going back is the only way to move forward.

Discuss this article on the forums

The Duck Has Spoken.

Licensed titles: The good, the bad, and the terrible

Licensed titles are on the receiving end of many a gamer's insults, and quite often rightfully so. Many games based on TV shows, movies, books or whatever are often little more than cash-grabs, quality be damned. However, every once in a while, a truly decent and sometimes even worthwhile licensed title will come along. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the show, as I go over Licensed titles: The good, the bad, and the terrible.

The Good

Despite popular belief, there is such a thing as a genuinely good licensed title. Look through any review archive and you're sure to stumble across one or two such games with ratings in the neighborhood of 9/10. Here are two licensed titles that I believe deserve a spot in the "Good" category.

If you've been reading One Duck's Opinion for a while, you likely remember my review of The Godfather: Blackhand Edition. Based on the amazing Godfather movie released in 1972, Blackhand Edition is an adventure set in on the streets of New York in the year 1945. You play as one of the many faceless henchmen working for the Corleone crime family. Along with fulfilling missions and tasks presented in the movie and book, your main task is to eventually take over all of New York in the name of the Corleone family, and, one day, become don of the entire city.

If it wasn't the storyline of this game that made it worthwhile, then it was the controls. Instead of merely pressing buttons to beat the crap out of rival mobsters, Blackhand Edition allowed you to take the fight into your own hands using the motion-sensing capabilities of the Wii remote. Swing the controller sideways to punch the enemy in the side, and thrust it forward to plant one right in the face. Grab a man by the collar of his jacket and toss him about by letting go while thrusting the Wii remote and Nunchuk simultaneously. You can even strangle a man to death by making a circular motion with both hands to simulate grabbing his throat, then wiggle the controllers to wrestle him to the ground. The Godfather: Blackhand Edition is one hell of a game, especially for a licensed title.

Now on to our next piece of software. Yes, it's a Spongebob game. Wipe the foam from your mouth, then continue reading. So, I like Spongebob, is it a crime? Anyways, I played a Battle For Bikini Bottom demo on my cousin's XBox, and it was pretty fun. About a year or so later, I saw it sitting on a shelf in my local video rental shop, so I grabbed it for a week. Hey, what the heck, it was seven bucks.

So then, Battle for Bikini Bottom accomplishes many things that you would probably assume impossible for a licensed title. Most surprising is the fact that it's incredibly fun. The premise is that the evil entrepreneur Plankton built a machine that constantly spits out robots. The Duplicatotron 3000, as the machine is called, stops obeying Plankton and begins making rebellious robots that are beyond his control. And who better to save the day than Spongebob Squarepants?

Battle for Bikini Bottom is nothing revolutionary or ground-breaking. It's a basic little platformer that manages to be quite entertaining. All standard platformer standbys are present: Jumping, running, attacking, etc. Battle for Bikini Bottom also allows players to take control of Patrick Star and Sandy Cheeks in addition to the game's titular sponge. Each character has one or two unique skills, which helps shake things up a bit. Also recognizable from the smash-hit TV show are the supporting characters (Most of which have their original voice-actors), the familiar locales (From the Krusty Krab to Rock Bottom, it's all here) and the same clever humour. The familiar gameplay, amazing voice acting, hilarious jokes and cartoony animation all come together to make one heck of a game. Sure, it won't win any prizes for originality or anything like that, but it's a fun game, plain and simple.

The Bad

And here we have the most common category of licensed titles, "The Bad". Look at any game shelf in any electronics department, and you'll easily find more than ten titles that would be a perfect fit here. A "Bad" game is something that should be ignored when seen, but still has a few redeeming qualities to it. It's the kind of game that can be somewhat enjoyed, but hardly worth retail price. Here is one such example of a "Bad" licensed title.

(First of all, let me apologize for how small this picture is. It's honestly the best one I could find!) Aladdin for the Game Boy is based on the Disney film of the same name. The movie was witty, action-packed, and had a great story behind it. The game, however, was bland, slow-paced and featured only shreds of narrative. You played as Aladdin (Of course), fighting your way through Agrabah streets and across rooftops for some reason. Instead of using that big old machete at your side, you can merely throw apples at your opponents. Yeah, apples. At some random point in the first or second level (It changes, I swear!), you gain the use of your sword, but it's actually no better than the apples. Except for the fact that the machete doesn't really rely on any ammo, you'd really be better off pelting royal guards with a sack of Granny Smiths. After all, at least the apples have range!

A tougher decision than you'd think, really.

Okay, fruits VS swords aside, there's not that much to this game worth talking about. Besides the tiny bits of storyline, the Aladdin sprites and the digitized tune of "A Whole New World" playing in the background, there's really no reason for this to even be an Aladdin title. The use of license is very poor, and it's nearly impossible to make out what you're looking at due to how thin the lines are.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm only talking about the Game Boy version here. All other versions of this game that I've played were great, especially the one on the SEGA Genesis. But comparing this tripe to that amazing piece of software is like comparing apples and mache-, er, oranges.

The Terrible

And here we have the lowest of lows, "The Terrible". These are the games that should be burned on sight. Actually, burning them would be bad, because then their crappiness would permeate our atmosphere and mess up the planet even worse than it already is. There is nothing at all good about any "Terrible" game. Nothing. At. All. These titles are among the worst on Earth. I wonder where they rank on Krypton, the home planet of the following game's star character...


Yes, I think we ALL saw this one coming. E.T. on the Atari 2600? Ha! That's a ten out of ten compared to this piece of crap! Superman 64 is almost definitely the worst game ever created. Thankfully, I have never had the displeasure of "playing" this "game". If I had, I can guarantee you I would have burned my hands off by now. I've suffered through watching many clips and reviews of this steaming pile of Kryptonian crap. I think my pain is only surpassed by those poor souls who've actually laid their hands on this vile botch of game design.

Before we go on to how terrible Superman 64 was, let's look at how great it COULD have been. Just imagine, playing as the strongest man on Earth. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, outrun speeding locomotives and all that jazz. The possibilities are endless! Tossing buildings, crushing machinery, vaporizing enemies with laser vision... Superman is really the dream character for a video game!

Now, forget all the amazing things I just said, as Superman 64 has none of it. Instead of displaying your amazing feats of strength, your instead forced to beat up thugs, bash up cars and fly through rings. Yes, much of Superman 64 is spent flying through "mazes" of rings set up by your arch-enemy, Lex Luthor. Apparently, if you don't fly through these rings, your friends will die or something. I really don't even care. This "game" is hardly worth the wear and tear on my keyboard. I think I can actually feel my fingertips melting.

Superman 64 was a terrible, terrible, TERRIBLE piece of work, and I hope to never hear of it again. Someone give me a block of Kryptonite, it's time to put this abomination out of it's misery.

Licensed titles have great potential for good, but even greater potential to be bad. It all depends on what happens behind the scenes. Don't let games like Superman 64 and E.T. cloud your judgment, there are good licensed titles out there such as The Godfather: Blackhand Edition and Spongebob Squarepants: Battle for Bikini Bottom. Sometimes your just gotta look a little harder and squint through the darkness, but they do exist.

The Duck Has Spoken.

Is the Game Boy name gone forever?

Jeez, is it only Tuesday? It feels like Thursday to me for some reason... Anywho, article time!



George Harrison, Nintendo's Senior Vice President of Marketing and Corporate Communications, recently had a little bit to say about the Game Boy brand:

"This year in our marketing you really won’t see much push against Game Boy itself, so it will kind of seek its own level. It’s hard to say in the future if we will ever bring back the Game Boy trademark. It was a big risk for us to actually pass on it and call the new product the Nintendo DS, but it was part of Mr. Iwata’s philosophy that if we’re going to make a radical difference and try to reach a new audience, then we have to change the name… We had to make a break even though we had one of the greatest trademarks in the history of the industry."

So there it is, the Game Boy is gone. Instead we now have the DS. But why did they bother changing the name from Game Boy to DS in the first place?

I think the main reason for the change was the fact that the DS is so vastly different from any model in the Game Boy product line. From the GB to the GBC to the GBA, not much was changed except for a few more colors, pixels and buttons. But the DS was the most radical change yet, with the integration of the touch-screen and microphone, something not yet seen in any game console, handheld or not. Calling the DS a Game Boy would be like calling the Nintendo 64 another SNES! Too much had changed to keep the same name.

The Game Boy DS? Does that sound good to you? What about the Ultra Game Boy? No? Me neither.

It's not as if the Game Boy name didn't have a good run, though. There was a good 15 years between the release of the original Game Boy and the release of the DS. But nothing lasts forever.

But, who knows? Perhaps one day, long from now, we'll see another Game Boy hit the market! But, for the time being, it's the DS' territory.

The Duck Has Spoken.