DSi dumps Rumble Pak support: Nobody notices or cares

This is basically a big pile of rambling. You have been warned.


I remember that the big thing people complained about when the DSi was revealed was the lack of a GBA slot (Well, that and the crappy cameras, but that's another story). However, I never heard a peep on the subject of the now obsolete Rumble Pak. As I ate dinner at the local burger joint a few nights ago, I sat and thought "Well, why didn't they just build one into the DSi? Hmm, I should write that up!" So I got home, walked halfway to my bedroom and thought "Wait, why bother putting rumble in the DSi? In fact, what good has rumble ever done for a portable system?" I had a very good question in need of answering.

Made popular on the Nintendo 64 by Star Fox 64, rumble offered a new level of immersion to any game. You can see it on your TV, hear it through the speakers, and now feel it through the rumble. Hell, throw in the ability to smell and taste and you've got all the senses covered! Just... Turn those features off when playing in any sewer levels.

When it gets taken down to the handhelds, though... It's as if some of the magic is taken away. Maybe it's the smaller screen, maybe it's the inferior graphics, maybe it's the decreased punch delivered by the tiny rumble pak, or maybe it's just the fact that the screen and controller are on the same piece of plastic. Whatever it is, something's just different and, well, wrong, in an impossible-to-define way. It just doesn't deliver the same amount of immersion.

In the past I was fascinated by rumble in handhelds, but looking back I can't really see why. Perhaps it's because I never had the opportunity to hold that legendary Nintendo 64 Rumble Pak in my hands. Perhaps it's because, up until 2003 or so, I'd never played a single console game with rumble implemented. I was a little late to the console rumble party, it would seem. Before I got my hands on a DualShock 2, handhelds were the only places where I'd experienced rumble, and even then my only exposure to it was in the form of Pokémon Pinball. I was fascinated by the way my entire Game Boy Color would shake as the ball bounced all over the table. Looking back, though, it was more of a tiny little addition hardly worth the AAA battery needed to power it. The only reason I enjoyed it was the novelty of the idea, the fact that I had the power of rumble in my little Game Boy Color. If I were to dig out my old copy of Pokémon Pinball today and play it, I wouldn't even care about the rumble. Heck, if the AAA battery in there is dead, I wouldn't even bother replacing it, except perhaps for old time's sake.

Oh, the memories...

Thinking back, the only use of rumble in a handheld game that stood out to me even in the slightest was in Star Fox Command. Instead of just rumbling, the Rumble Pak also shook in such a way as to create sound effects syncing up with the action in game. When charging a blast and firing, the rumble would slowly ramp up in intensity and volume, then let out a loud "VRRRUMP!" as the blast is fired. Not even console games have managed to use rumble in such a way, meaning this is the only time in all of gaming history in which handheld rumble has been superior to that of a console. Other than this, though, rumble has really done nothing for the handheld industry besides drain batteries.

What really gets me, though, is the fact that I've never heard a single person share these thoughts. Am I needlessly bitter? Are people just saying so without me hearing? Do people just think so little of rumble in handhelds that they don't even bother talking about it? Or am I just missing the point altogether? Well, it's time to find out with this simple question: What do you guys think? Has rumble in a handheld game ever been that great? Let me know in the comment section or this forum thread, and together we shall find out!

Games that need to be remade

I like new games as much as the next guy. But still, there's some games that have gone by and become lost in the annals of time. These are games I'd love to see remade. Not only for me, but for the new generation of gamers we are beginning to see. People born in the mid- to late-nineties have most likely missed out on the fruits of gaming's heyday. What better way to acquaint them with the past of gaming than a remake? So, without further ado, here are some games I think are well worth a remake.

Pokémon Gold and Silver Versions

Released in 2000, these two games are the most recent of the titles in this article. Introducing these games seems somewhat pointless, since we know both of them so well (At least I hope we do!). But, just in case, here's the basic rundown.

Like Pokémon Red, Blue and Yellow before them, Pokémon Gold and Silver were all about what fans of the series have come to love: Catching 'em all! With 100 new Pokémon (Bringing the grand total to 251), there was more to do than ever before.

Along with new Pokémon, Gold and Silver added a few other features that would later become recurring trends in the Pokémon series. First, they added the PokéGear. Worn like a watch, this handy little computer served as a phone and a radio, among other things. This would later return in Ruby and Sapphire as the Pokénav, and again in Diamond and Pearl as the Pokétch. This multi-tool, although somewhat of a novelty in the second generation, served as the base for so much more.

Another added feature was an internal clock, which would keep track of real-world time. Whenever it became late in real life, the lights would come on, and the environment would darken. Depending on what time of day it was, certain Pokémon would become more or less common, some of which will appear exclusively at a certain time of the day. Also, depending on the time of day, a properly cared-for Eevee could evolve into either an Espeon or an Umbreon.

Pokémon Gold and Silver added much to the Pokémon universe. But what could be added to them to entice veterans of the series to buy it again? Well, I'm thinking that we'd see a fully redone version of Kanto (The location of Red, Blue and Yellow) instead of the shrunken, stripped-down version we got in addition to Johto in the second game.

Also, the game would be fully compatible with Pokémon Diamond and Pearl, allowing for trading and battling between the two. This would make it far easier for Diamond and Pearl players when it came to finishing their Pokédex.

Of course, the game would also need to be entirely compatible with the Diamond and Pearl Global Trade System (GTS). If that's not possible, then it would at least need a similar service of it's own. I just can't imagine Pokémon without the GTS anymore!

There's a huge demand for a Pokémon Gold and Silver remake, and the potential is almost as great. I only hope the Nintendo and Game Freak have realized this as well.

The Legend of Zelda

Originally released way back in 1986, the closest it's ever gotten to a remake is BS Zelda no Densetsu on the Super Famicom's Satellaview game service. Sure, it's been re-released on the Virtual Console, but I'm still dying for an enhanced remake.

The Legend of Zelda was an amazing adventure title for the NES/Famicom, introducing many new features then unheard of in video games. It pioneered the overworlds and dungeons we see all the time nowadays, and it practically created the free-roaming aspect of games that we don't even seem to notice anymore. Without The Legend of Zelda, the world of gaming would be very different indeed.

So what could be done to this already amazing game to make it worth buying over the Virtual Console port? First of all, it would have entirely revamped graphics, taking full advantage of whatever console it's developed for. If made for the Wii, it could have waggle-controls for sword movement, and a DS version could be controlled like Phantom Hourglass.

Additional sidequests and such would also be added, with the possibility of entirely new maps exclusive to the remake. And perhaps, in similar fashion of the Link to the Past remake, this version could share a game card/disc with a brand-new Four Swords game! Whether this remake happens on the Wii or the DS, there'll be plenty of space left over for an entire secondary game.

The Legend of Zelda could become a powerhouse title for the Wii or the DS, and I hope Nintendo has noticed this. A remake is far overdue, and I've been dreaming of such a thing ever since the Link to the Past GBA port. It can be done, and if I have any say in it (Which I don't), it will be done.

Final Fantasy VII

Of course, it would just be wrong to write an article like this and leave out the amazing triumph of RPG design that is Final Fantasy VII. This game deserves every ounce of praise it gets, and I only wish I owned a copy of my own so I could play it all over again. All three glorious CDs of it...

Anyways, for those unfamiliar with Final Fantasy VII (FOR SHAME!!!), here's the basics. As with all the other numbered Final Fantasy games before it, Final Fantasy VII was an incredibly in-depth and fleshed out RPG. Being the first ever on the Playstation, and possibly more importantly, first ever Final Fantasy in 3D, VII had some big expectations to live up to. And did it fill those shoes?

In a word: DEFINITELY.

With it's new Materia system, Final Fantasy VII made it easier than ever before to customize your characters any way you wanted. Want Cloud to cast Thunder? Sure thing. Feel like having Cid unleash Bahamut? Go right ahead. Final Fantasy VII gave you an incredible amount of control over how your characters were structured, and it's been overcome very few times to this day.

To top it all off, it had an amazing story that was incredibly epic in both scale and length. What starts off as "fighting the power" eventually escalates into an adventure to save the very planet they live on. Final Fantasy VII's story is still ingrained in my mind to this very day.

So then, if this game's so epic and amazing, what could they possibly do to improve upon it? Of course, we're gonna be seeing some beefed-up graphics. Just imagine if Final Fantasy VII was remade for the PS3 (Which is looking to be the most likely candidate as of now). All that raw power put into making the characters from one of history's greatest RPGs look the way we've always dreamed, and bringing them to life like never before... I don't know about you, but that would sure get me thinking about buying a PS3!

As for actual content, I'm not sure what could be added... The original title itself was already so expansive! And I'm sure a change too radical would anger the fans... For this particular section, I'm going to have to leave the genius up to Square-Enix. They do know what's best for the game, after all. Well, if it even exists or ever will exist, that is.

And it has to exist! Come on, Dirge of Cerberus, Advent Children and Before Crisis can't possibly exist without a Final Fantasy VII remake! ...right?

The Duck Has Spoken.

The best Pokémon spin-offs

Sorry for the common use of the words spin-off and off-shoot, but they're the only two words that work here! I even tried a thesaurus!



When a franchise gets popular, it usually sees it's fair share of spin-offs. Pokémon became the biggest thing since sliced bread in the late nineties, and it's still fairly popular almost a decade later. Thusly, it's seen a lot of spin-offs, probably only beaten out by Mario for the most ever. Here are some of the greatest off-shoots the franchise has produced.

Pokémon Snap

Whenever I describe this game to someone who's never played it, it sounds incredibly boring. Seriously, the thought of taking pictures of Pokemon while moving along a fixed path with almost no freedom at all? Comes across as somewhat boring, huh?

But, despite this seemingly snore-worthy concept, Pokemon Snap was a great amount of fun. Moving throughout each level and finding new and creative ways of taking pictures was an amazing adventure. It wasn't enough to merely snap a pic of a Magmar! No, you had to catch it when it's breathing fire on another Magmar! This is a great action shot, and it earns you a whole lot of points!

Further more, getting the Pokémon to fill as much of the frame as possible is important, too. If it's really far away or much too close it just won't do! You have to make it so it's as close as can be without surpassing the borders of the picture. Keep it all in-frame, and it can really be worth quite a bit. Also, make sure the Pokémon's facing you, too. A picture of a Kangaskhan's butt isn't exactly gonna cut it.

You could also interact with the environment and the Pokemon themselves! Throwing apples to tempt a Bulbasaur out of a tree stump or chucking Pester Balls (Sleeping gas-filled Pokéballs) at a switch is often key to getting the best pics of a Pokémon, and sometimes even makes new creatures appear.

Sure, Pokémon Snap may not sound like the greatest idea for a game at first, but behind it's boring concept lies a great little puzzle/adventure game waiting to be discovered. Snap is probably my favourite Pokémon spin-off yet, and I can't wait to download this once it hits the Virtual Console.

Pokémon Pinball

Nintendo really could have taken the easy route here, and simply slapped the Pokémon franchise on to a standard pinball game. But instead, they made a brand new and entirely original pinball concept built exclusively for the Pokémon name.

First of all, they made a unique twist by making the table two screens tall. Whenever the ball left the lower half of the table, the upper section would appear, and vice-versa. This allowed for a taller pinball table with more possibilities. Using both halves together would be key to getting high scores and more.

Instead of just shooting pinballs for high scores, you also had to "travel" from location to location. You could travel by hitting the Poliwag, Psyduck or Dugtrio buttons on either side of the table three times in quick succession. You then had to shoot the ball around the upper loop of the table and quickly knock it into the hole that would appear in the lower half.

What's the point of traveling? To catch more Pokémon! After sufficiently charging up Catch Mode by doing laps in the upper loop, you could trigger a Pokémon encounter. First, you need to hit the Staryu or Shelder in the upper half of the screen at least six times to reveal the Pokémon. Then you need to whack the newly-revealed creature with the pinball three times to catch it. And hey, look at that! You've got yourself a Seel!

Pokémon could be evolved, too. By using a similar process to start Catch Mode, you can trigger Evolution Mode. During this time, you will have to go around the table and collect all the experience points that appear scattered about. Once all three have been gathered, you need to plunk the pinball down a hole on the lower half, and voila! Your Seel is now a Dewgong!

Every time your Pokémon count reaches three (Evolving counts as two additional Pokémon), you trigger a Bonus Game. By hitting certain targets in these extra rounds you can gather more and more points. All modes are timed, so you need to be quick! Challenges range from hitting Meowth, hitting multiple Seel, attacking Gastly, Haunter and Gengar or even fighting the one and only Mewtwo. Defeating this rounds doesn't net you any Pokémon for your collection, but it does get you a whole bunch of points!

Pokémon Pinball is hardly your average arcade fare. From catching Pokémon to traveling to new locations to evolving your critters, Pokémon Pinball is one heck of a game! Definitely my favorite ever virtual pinball game.

Every franchise has it's fair share of spin-offs, and many are dismissed as cheap cash-ins. But some off-shoots really are great, despite the fact that they have a big name slapped on the cover. Pokémon really has quite a few great spin-offs, and I only wish I had the time to list some more! Maybe one day...

Okay, that's all for now! See you all on Monday!

The Duck Has Spoken.