Another delay, but for a different reason

I actually felt really good about writing tonight, but it's just too damn hot for me to concentrate. It was about 32 degrees Celsius earlier (About 90 Fahrenheit for you Americans out there), and the humidity is only making it worse. Adding even more to the situation is my very low heat tolerance. Let's just say I'm a Winter kinda guy...

Now, it's looking to be a little cooler on Monday. I'll do my very best to have things back to normal then. As for now, I'm going to go back downstairs into the air conditioned goodness of my living room.

Sorry for this, folks, but it's really not my fault this time. If I could, I would, but I can't, so I won't. Again, very sorry. Will be back on Monday.

The Duck Has Spoken.

Gaming Oddities Episode IV: All Hope Lost

Tortimer says: "Heh heh horff, that's not a real movie!"

So then, my brain is fried and thereby unable to comprehend tonight's intended article. Thusly, we have Gaming Oddities Episode IV: All Hope Lost (Good thing George Lucas won't ever see this).

Item shop, weapon shop, armor shop... Is there a grocery store in this town?

Play any RPG, and you're sure to encounter the following: Every town has plenty of stores for your warriors to peruse, but nowhere for the townspeople to buy food, clothing, or anything else. Since there doesn't seem to be all that much farm land in Castle Corneria, I suppose everyone just sucks in nutrients from the air. Or maybe everyone but us has access to a secret grocery store hidden deep beneath the Earth's crust? They must save a bundle on their electricity bills down there, what with natural heating and all.

"Drink this potion! It'll magically reattach your retinas!"

It seems that no matter how injured a character gets, one simple potion will save them. Knife to the face? Have a potion. Sword in the gut? Take one and call me in the morning. Skull bashed in? There's a Visine for that. If only this were true of real life. Legs crushed by a tractor trailer? You know the drill.

All cash works at any store anywhere at any time

So, you just flew in from Midgar, and boy are your arms tired! You need a place to rest for the night. But wait! This is a bizarre and unknown land half-way around the globe! Surely they won't accept your foreign currency here... Right? Well, it would appear that everyone on Gaia has agreed to use Gil as their primary form of cash. If only it were so easy on Earth... I could go down to the States and spend freely without worrying about exchange rates or paying duty... Finally, a way to legally escape our exorbitant taxes!

I suppose "English as a Second Language" doesn't appear on Hyrule report cards

No matter where you go or who you talk to, almost every single person you meet will speak perfectly fluent and understandable English. It doesn't matter if you travel five or five thousand miles, chances are, the people there will speak English. Heck, in some games, aliens and non-human species even have a grasp of our native tongue! Leave it to gaming to completely dissolve the language barrier. Just imagine if this were true of our world... We'd actually hear Miyamoto talking, and not his pesky little translator!

"Your car can survive falling 30,000 feet? How much you want for it?"

Half-Life 2, Need for Speed, Driver, Halo... Almost any game that involves driving cars usually ends up involving said car falling a billion feet and driving away unscathed. Last I checked, cars don't fare all that well when plummeting from dizzying heights. I have honestly never encountered a game with cars where this hasn't been true. From Halo's mighty Warthog to Half-Life 2's slapped-together buggy, it seems no force of gravity can bring your car to a halt. I really need to figure out who makes these cars and buy some stocks.

Stuck on an alien planet? Need ammunition? No problem.

it seems that no matter where you go in an FPS, there will always be somewhere to replenish your ammunition stocks. Covenant dropship in Halo? I gotcha covered. Deep, dark caverns in Half-Life? No problem. Far-flung planet in the distant Alimbic solar system? The ammo's right over there, Ms. Aran. Either our heroes (And heroines) have access to insanely adaptable weapons, or someone likes to drop ammunition wherever they please, be it cavern, alien vessel or far-off planet. Damned litterbugs.

So ends yet another edition of Gaming Oddities. Feel free to discuss this in the comment section, or this forum thread. Or both, if you're feeling adventurous. I'll see you all again on Friday.

The Duck Has Spoken.

Delays, delays...

Okay, as I'm sure you should be aware, I'm always really sorry to miss an update, and tonight is no exception. Well, I didn't so much as miss an update as I just delayed it... But anyways, I really think that this article will benefit from me working on it while more properly rested. I've got all the notes jotted down, and I even have the first few paragraphs written. The rest should come together fairly easy tomorrow, hopefully sometime in the afternoon.

Until then, I apologize as always... I assure you, though, that this article will be worth the wait.

The Duck Has Spoken.

Mini-Article: There's no reason to be ashamed of liking Pokémon

Okay, I can do a little something short tonight... Really short, though. This is just something I felt should be said is all.



I've heard a lot of people say that they were "ashamed" or "embarrassed" to show up at the recent Toys 'R' Us event to get their free Darkrai for Pokémon Diamond/Pearl. So what if you're a 21 year-old man standing in a crowd of pre-pubescent Poké-fans? If you like Pokémon, you like Pokémon, and that's that. It's a solid RPG with numerous hidden values and loads of strategy. Any kid can enjoy Pokémon, but it takes a well-developed mind to truly understand and master the game.

So yeah, the game's rated E and stars a ten year-old. So? Animal Crossing's the same, isn't it? And how about Earthbound?

So a large part of its audience is made up of grade-schoolers. Aren't Mario, Zelda and so many other franchises in the same situation?

The fact is, Pokémon debuted in 1995 (1998 in North America). People who were kids then have every right to continue enjoying the game to this day, and they have no reason to shy away from admitting it. I'm a 17 year-old male, I play Pokémon, and I'm damn well proud of it. I've been playing it since I was 7, and I'm not going to stop any time soon. Every other Pokémon fan out there, no matter their age, sex or whatever, should feel the same. Do your friends not think it's right to play Pokémon at your age? Well, as far as I'm concerned, it's their loss. It's a great series of games, and everyone has the right to play and enjoy it openly.

Next time there's a "download this Pokémon at Toys 'R' Us" event, go right in there and start up Mystery Gift. If someone gives you a weird look, good for them. You're having fun, and that's all that matters.

Discuss this article on the forums

The Duck Has Spoken.

Poll #42: "Which Wii Channel do you use the least?" results, banner, article delay

"Disc Channel" 1 vote (2%)
"Mii Channel" 0 votes (0%)
"Forecast Channel" 6 votes (12%)
"Shop Channel" 0 votes (0%)
"Photo Channel" 10 votes (20%)
"News Channel" 11 votes (22%)
"Check Mii Out/Mii Contest Channel" 6 votes (12%)
"Nintendo Channel" 2 votes (4%)
"Internet Channel" 3 votes (6%)
"Everybody Votes Channel" 6 votes (12%)
"I don't know" 2 votes (4%)
"I don't have a Wii" 1 vote (2%)

Wow, someone actually uses the Disc Channel less than anything else? I guess they just don't have many games...

So, this week's banner comes courtesy of... Me! Yeah, the subject for this one came out of nowhere. At first it was going to be a celebratory banner due to last week's first year anniversary, and then it was going to be about birds in gaming, and then it was about Pokémon, and now it's about the dark side of Pokémon. I guess it's somewhat suitable considering the recent announcement of Pokémon Platinum, but really, it's mostly just to look cool. I think it pulls that off rather nicely, too. Oh, and it case you didn't keep up with the anime back in the day, that's Mewtwo on the left. He's just wearing a suit designed by Giovanni to control the cloned Pokémon's powers. Needless to say, the suit doesn't stay on him forever...


This week's poll topic is "Which generation of Pokémon was your favourite?". I don't mean just game mechanics or character design, I mean overall. Take everything into account and say which was your favourite. To be honest, I really can't decide... I think it's a tie between Diamond/Pearl and Red/Blue/Yellow...

So, about the words "article delay" in the post title... Well, to put it simply, it's a long article I have planned, and it's already past midnight. I think it's best I turn in early today and tackle that one at full force tomorrow. Sorry for the delay, but I do believe it will make the end product better. Jeez, I sound like Miyamoto...

Okay, then! I'll be sure to get working on the article ASAP tomorrow! Until then, keep on gaming, folks.

The Duck Has Spoken.