Letters to the industry

I'll be out tomorrow night, so here's something today instead.

To: Nintendo
Subject: My fridge is full

Hey, Nintendo. The whole Wii refrigerator approach to the storage problem works to an extent, but it's not a real fix. What we need now is support for USB storage. No dilly-dallying and no excuses. Even if it's just a downloadable update that allows us to use our own USB pen drive or whatever, that would be great. Just do something other than dance around the issue.

Also, how about finally showing us Animal Crossing Wii? Enough teasing and hinting already, just give us a little something more substantial. A screenshot, some official renders, anything! We know you're making it, so just give us a peek already!


To: Microsoft
Subject: Mind waiting until the next generation first?

It's recently been heavily implied that a Mii-like caricature service will soon become available on the XBox 360. Even more suspected is the supposed Wii-like controller to be debuting sometime late this year or early 2009. I'm not writing to throw around accusations of stealing ideas or anything, as that's already been said more than enough times. What I'm writing about is that this seems like too much of a change to make partway through a generation. If the caricatures and motion-sensing were there at launch, I'd be okay with it. But surely you know that peripherals introduced anywhere but at the console's launch rarely catch on as well as they would if they were there from the start. This has bad idea written all over it.


To:Electronic Arts
Subject: You're not Pac-Man, stop eating everything.

As I'm sure everyone knows, competition is key to advancement in any industry. If nobody opposes you, why bother moving forward at all? Why take risks if you're the consumer's only choice? While this may work fine at first, it can only go downhill from there.

If you keep absorbing companies like you are now, so much of the competitive spirit will be sucked out of the gaming industry. You've taken BioWare and Pandemic already, and I think that's enough for now. Leave Take-Two alone, you don't need them. Things are fine as is. Competition keeps an industry healthy, not excessive mergers.


To: Data Design Interactive
Subject: You got your crap in my peanut butter

Surely you can't believe that any of the games you ever release are anywhere near adequate. Ninjabread Man? London Taxi: Rush Hour? Elvis: Rock and Roll Adventures?!?! Are you even trying? It's developers like you that really make the Wii's library look like a pile of crap. You weren't welcome on the PS2, and your ports sure as hell aren't welcome on the Wii. Either start putting some effort into your products or quit. Just no more Ninjabread Man!


To: Readers
Subject: Discuss this article on the forums

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The Duck Has Spoken.