The 2008 Golden Duck Awards

401st post: Slightly less notable than the 400th. Also, this article consists only of this year's games that I played, so if there's another game out there with a title more reflective of flatulence I sure haven't played it (Although I kinda wish I did).


As the year comes to a close, it's time to take a look back at all the games of 2008 and figure out which ones are worthy of mentioning once again in all sorts of feeble, irrelevant little categories. Feeble and irrelevant... Yep, that's One Duck's Opinion, alright!

Best Game With a Title That Sounds Like a Kids' Movie

I can imagine walking into some shady flea market in the depths of China and seeing Professor Layton and the Curious Village sticking out of a pile of bootleg DVDs. Of course, there'd be one hell of a garbled Engrish description on the back... "Open movie, Professor Layton and his young assistant Luke driving the request of the town of St. mysterious widow of the late Baron Lady Dahlia Reinhold. Baron has remained in his last will, who solved the mystery of the Golden Apple will inherit the fate of Baron, some people attempt and failures."

Come to think of it, Professor Layton and the Curious Village would make a good animated film. The art's fantastic, the storyline is solid, and all of its amazing puzzles would translate well to on-screen head-scratchers. Nothing can compare to how it is as a game, though, with its many mind-bending puzzles, exploration elements and investigative segments. Professor Layton is surely a great game all around, even if it the title does make it sound like it belongs in a Chinese flea market bargain bin.

Best Nintendo Game That Europe Actually Got Before North America

Nintendo's well-known for frequently giving the shaft to our European friends. Star Fox 64, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and even the DS Lite all launched in Europe last out of all three major regions, and these few examples are just the tip of the iceberg. It's no surprise that everyone was amazed at Europe receiving Mario Kart Wii only one day after Japan, and nearly two weeks before North America. This may not sound like such a big deal, but ask any European how they felt about waiting for Brawl and prepare to see the tears flow.

Now the tables turn and Europe begins to lord it over us for a good thirteen days. They had every right to do so, what with Mario Kart Wii's amazing track design, so-far-unmatched-on-the-Wii online play, and perfect motion controls. I suppose we had it coming after how loudly we loved Brawl...

Best Sequel With a Change of Main Character

Every Ace Attorney fan had already come to love the story of Phoenix Wright, the rookie defense lawyer who always claimed victory over even the most unfair odds. So when it was announced that Mr. Wright wouldn't be wearing the title of attorney in the fourth game people were understandably upset. Despite all our feelings of dread and our reluctance to love the new lead character, Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney still managed to make a big splash in the realm of law-based gaming.

One place Apollo Justice really managed to shine was in the graphics department. With the DS being so many times stronger than the Game Boy Advance, far more advanced sprite animations, backgrounds, and even 3D imagery became possible here. Like the bonus fifth chapter in Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, all of Apollo Justice took advantage of the DS' unique abilities to further enhance the gameplay experience, using the touchscreen for everything from taking fingerprints to pouring plaster to copy a footprint in the mud. And of course, there's no forgetting using the microphone to shout "Objection!". However, unlike many witness testimonies in the game, I have no objections to Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney.

Best Reminder That Life Could Be Worse

First you drop your morning latte, then you step in a mud puddle, and then you barely miss the bus on your way home. You're life couldn't be any worse, right? Well, imagine you instead drop your handgun, got splattered by Boomer bile, then barely miss the helicopter out of this hellhole. Sure sounds a lot worse, huh? This moment of putting life into perspective was brought to you by Left 4 Dead.

From Valve, the company quickly becoming my favourite developer in the business, Left 4 Dead is a new take on zombie games: It's all co-op. The "4" in the title refers to the player's squad, a group of four survivors of the zombie apocalypse. Only by working together can these four survive the seemingly endless waves of zombies of all shapes, sizes and abilities, from the common "horde" zombie, all the way up to the bone-chilling Witch. With rapid-fire clouds of zombies always pouring in from every direction, and each game being different due to the innovative AI Director, Left 4 Dead isn't just a reminder that life could be worse; It's also one hell of a game.

Best Way to Beat the Crap Out of Your Friends Without Getting the Police Involved

Fireballs, bombs, flying jump-kicks, magical blades, and many other objects that defy definition are just some of the weapons available in your Super Smash Bros. Brawl arsenal. Thanks to this game, now you can ignite, blow up, mangle, and altogether destroy your friends without those pesky police getting in the way.

After many months of waiting, wishing and speculating, the world finally got its hands on Super Smash Bros. Brawl this year. With by far the biggest roster yet, an insane amount of different stages and the conversion of just about every former mode into a mini-game made Brawl into one of this year's most amazing titles. Okay, so the online aspect blew massive chunks, but I still hold that Smash Bros. (Like many other games) is best played with your friends in the same room. When it comes to beating the crap out of your friends with the help of the Wii, Super Smash Bros. Brawl is second only to clonking them over the head with the console itself.

Best Indicator That the Apocalypse Might Be Kinda Cool

Whenever I envision a post-apocalyptic world, it usually looks a lot like End of Evangelion, with a red-coloured skies, seas of nothing, and rubble from former proud structures. Usually one figure stands along among it all, speechless at what they're seeing. It's quite the bleak, saddening image. However, that's not the case in Advance Wars: Days of Ruin! Sure, meteors blotted out the sun, but there's tanks and explosions and stuff! Hooray apocalypse!

Advance Wars: Days of Ruin takes the happy-go-lucky attitude of the first three Advance Wars games and thrusts it into the far-flung future of Armageddon. 90% of the world's population has been wiped out, and the remaining few struggle to survive with limited resources. Of course, just about every last shred of the world's law died with those who upheld it, and now anarchy reins. War is everywhere, and the game follows the story of one troop as he joins a brigade and begins trying to bring the world back to normal. The same award-winning gameplay from the rest of the series returns, bringing with it a few more units and a selection of new gameplay elements. If I had a choice as to how the world would end, I'd surely pick the Days of Ruin version. I'll take tanks and bombers over puddles of people any day!

Best Reason to Get Your Rabies Shot

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! Time to head on down to the clinic and get my inoculations up to date! I mean, seriously, if I lived in a town with a raccoon shopkeeper, a dog hairstylist and a hedgehog seamstress, I'd probably get the heck out of there before finding out which of the squirrels is rabid. In the happy, care-free land of Animal Crossing, though, we need not worry about booster shots. Good thing, too, or else I'd have more puncture wounds than Hellraiser.

In Animal Crossing: City Folk, there is no real point or goal. The player can just do things as they want, when they want, living a nice, calming secondary life with friendly humanoid animals. Buying furniture, upgrading the house, competing in fishing tournaments... Okay, so it's the exact same thing as the other two games. Same or not, though, get your rabies shots just to be sure. I don't trust the look in K.K. Slider's eye...

Best Game With a Title Reminiscent of Flatulence

No more really needs to be said here.

LostWinds is a unique game in that the player controls two characters at once: A young boy, Toku, and the wind spirit, Enril. The two work in tandem, with Toku being controlled by the analog stick, and Enril taking the role of the Wii remote's pointer. Simply point, click and drag, and a gust of wind will blow along the line you drew. Wind is key to solving just about every puzzle in the game, from fanning coals into a fire to kick-starting a windmill. LostWinds is certainly a great game, even if its name does remind me of methane clouds.

And so end the first ever Golden Duck Awards, giving useless, fictitious trophies to random video games I played. Can you think of some inane and utterly pointless awards you'd like to give to some of this year's video games? Feel free to let your ideas be heard in either the comment section, or this forum thread.

Mega Man 9 review

Remember, this review is using the new rating system outlined here. I don't want to confuse anyone!


Developers: Inti Creates, Capcom Japan
Publisher: Capcom
Release Date: September 22nd
ESRB Rating: E for Everyone
ESRB Notes: Mild Cartoon Violence

After many years of waiting, Mega Man 8 finally gets its sequel in the form of Mega Man 9 for WiiWare, Playstation Network and XBox Live Arcade. Saying Mega Man 9 goes back to basics would be an understatement, as it features 8-bit graphics, NES-style music, and incredibly linear gameplay. With nostalgia coming out the wazoo and a higher difficulty than most of today's video games, Mega Man 9 is a title for the retro gamer in all of us.

As Mega Man begins, Dr. Wily is once again admitting defeat to Dr. Light's robot warrior. Shortly after, though, Dr. Light's robots all start going insane, blowing things up and attacking the populace. Dr. Wily claims that this is all Dr. Light's doing, even going so far as to present a recording of Light speaking of taking over the world. Of course, we all know this can't possibly be true, and it's up to Mega Man to defeat all the robots and prove Dr. Light's innocence.

In order to do this, Mega Man must defeat eight of Dr. Light's 'Bots gone wild, and then track down both Dr. Wily and the truth. The levels and bosses all have their own themes, from water to fire to bees. Yes, bees. I'm not sure why either. Anyways, with each level comes a theme, and with each theme comes new hazards. Magma Man's stage is full of lava and flamethrower-wielding robots, Hornet Man's level is fraught with heat-seeking flower missiles, and Jewel Man's mine-themed stage is packed full of robot mine carts. To fight back against these bosses and their themed terrors, Mega Man must rely on his trusty Mega Buster. After defeating a boss, however, Mega Man gains the ability to mimic their weapon. Unlike the Mega Buster, though, these special weapons have limited ammunition, and must be used sparingly. Certain weapons are significantly more effective against certain bosses. For example, Splash Woman's Laser Trident is very strong against Magma Man. After all, water puts out fire.

Of course, Mega Man 9 isn't only about defeating the robot masters and their minions. A large amount of getting to the bosses involves skillful timing and jumps, as well as quite a bit of patience. Waiting for the right moment to jump is crucial in many of the levels, and knowing where all the hidden traps are is key to success. This somewhat makes Mega Man 9 largely about trial and error, in that players will often be killed by an obstacle before learning of its existance. For example, Galaxy Man's stage is filled with robots that drop from the sky, grab Mega Man, and drag him into walls of spikes. Learning where all these robots lurk is key, as just touching a spike wall is curtains for the Blue Bomber. A good memory is a great tool to have when playing Mega Man 9.

Those grabby buggers are a real pain in the robotic ass.

If things get really hard, players can also purchase items such as Energy Tanks, ally "calls" and extra lives using the bolts collected throughout play as currency. This helps tone down the difficulty a tiny bit, but it's just so much more satisfying to beat the crap out of a robot master without any help.

One not-quite-classic feature included in Mega Man 9 is an XBox Live-like achievement system. Achievement requirements range from beating 500 enemies to defeating a boss in under ten seconds. While I can never hope to obtain these achievements for myself, they'll certainly keep me coming back, trying in vain, until my Wii remote snaps in half. Considering how sturdy Nintendo products are, I'll probably be at it for a while.

Sometimes a gamer will call a game "retro" because of its simplistic art style and 2D presentation. Well, it's time for those guys to find a new word, because Mega Man 9 is the one true example of a new game being retro. Mega Man 9 looks just like an NES game from the glory days, right down to the three-frame running animation. Some people think that this art style is a cop-out, a way for Capcom to save money and get the game out the door sooner. Well, those people are, quite frankly, nuts. Mega Man 9 is a return to the good ol' days, and the art style followed suit. Only thing is, now we don't have to blow into the console to get it to work.

Keeping in the theme of NES-style presentation, Mega Man 9 also features a beautifully electronic set of sound effects and background music. A short, looped song on the stage select screen just furthers the incredible retro feel of Mega Man 9. Also making a return are the simple blips and bloops of firing the Mega Buster and jumping around. It's simply amazing how far Capcom went to make this game retro in every way. I'm definitely impressed.

I know I'll be playing Mega Man 9 for a while yet. Two robot masters down, six to go! At this rate, I won't be done until it's nearly Halloween!

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Mega Man 9 is a throwback to the days of the NES. Back when men were mega, when bros. were super, when there was action in elevators. Mega Man 9 is a true retro game released in the days of high-definition and surround sound. It brings back all the great, challenging gameplay of the NES, and somehow makes it feel like new all over again. Finally, the true sequel to Mega Man 8 has arrived, and it certainly hasn't disappointed. Without a doubt, Mega Man 9 earns a big fat...


Anyone who loves Mega Man, classic gaming, or a good challenge needs to download Mega Man 9 ASAP. Fire up your console of choice, launch this game, and enjoy the nostalgic goodness. Mega Man 9 is a mega good time.

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Mega Man 9: Two complaints

Mega Man 9 review most likely coming your way on Wednesday. For now, listen to me whine for a minute or two.


So far, I'm enjoying Mega Man 9. Sure, it's brutally difficult and I've yet to even get close to one of Wily's eight robot masters, but it's still a great game. In fact, I've got nothing against the game itself. However, I do object to two little aspects of how Capcom decided to handle the title.

First, the in-game manual is hardly existent. Sure, you can hit the Home button and view a button summary, but in order to see the whole thing, you have to go to the Wii Shop Channel. What the heck, Capcom? Would it have been so hard to include the manual with the download? The title only take up 66 blocks of memory, so there's plenty of space to fit in a more comprehensive digital booklet. I wouldn't have minded waiting two seconds more to finish the download if it meant not having to jump through a bunch of hoops to read the manual.

Second, I'm pretty upset with how Capcom is handling downloadable content (Or DLC) for this game. Okay, I can understand having a new character as DLC. It would have worked well as an unlockable, sure, but that's kind of reaching outside the limitations of the NES. Then again, so is DLC, but whatever. Bottom line is, Proto Man being DLC is A-OK with me.

What I'm not alright with, though, is all the other DLC for Mega Man 9. Two of them, Hero Mode and Superhero Mode, are just additional difficulty levels. Personally, I think that's bullcrap. Does anyone else here remember NES games having selectable difficulty levels? I do. These should have been included with the game, for the same base price of 1000 Wii Points.

Another download, Endless Mode is a new way to play, with players competing to get as far as possible without dying. Uh, isn't that what the rest of the game is about, too? You know, fighting towards the end and all? Maybe I'm missing something here...

The final download is the Special Stage, and it actually sounds decent. Basically, it's a whole new level in a Time Attack format. Get through it as fast as possible, and compete to set records. Along with Proto Man Mode, this is one of two worth-your-money downloads as far as I'm concerned. The rest of it should have just been in the game to start with. Gouging consumers for additional difficulty levels is ridiculous, and the Endless Mode just sounds like more of the same.

While Mega Man 9 is a great game, Capcom made some mistakes in distributing it. I'll probably just do the smart thing and vote with my wallet here. Unless you're a hardcore Mega Man fan that absolutely must play the game in every way possible, I suggest you do the same.

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Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney review

Without even thinking of it, I basically just recycled the first paragraph of my Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney review in this article. Oh well.

Developer: Capcom
Publisher: Capcom
Release Date: February 19th, 2008
ESRB Rating: T for Teen
ESRB Notes: Mild Blood, Suggestive Themes, Violent References

If you were to try and think of a profession that would make a great video game, chances are, you wouldn't think attorney. It seems Capcom thinks differently from us, though, since they decided to make Gyakuten Saiban for the Game Boy Advance back in 2001. The game was a huge hit in Japan, spawning two critically-acclaimed sequels. When the DS came out, Capcom smelled money and ported the first game over to Nintendo's new console. With the crazy amounts of success the series received in Japan, Capcom thought it was time to introduce the rest of the world to this quirky new series. The response around the world was incredible, with the now-named Ace Attorney series becoming a huge hit. The second and third games also received ports on the Nintendo DS, both of them just as fun as the first.

Problem was, there were then no more Gyakuten Saiban games to import or remake. What was Capcom to do? The answer was simple: Build a new Ace Attorney from the ground up for the Nintendo DS! And thus, the story of Apollo Justice began.

Speaking of story, the writing in Apollo Justice is just about as sharp as it was in the first three games. The cases are full of twists, many of which are sure to catch players off guard. If there's one downside, though, it's that some of the new characters aren't quite as interesting as those from the past games. It's been seven years since the events of Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations, meaning many of the familiar faces have moved on with their lives. Larry Butz, Lotta Hart, Maggey Byrde, and many of the other characters series-long fans have grown to love are absent.

Sadly, while many of the new characters are well-written and likable, none of them are quite as interesting or notable as the well-established personalities from the Phoenix Wright saga. It's understandable, though, as it's really hard to improve on the amazing cast from the original series. You can't blame Capcom for falling short of the incredibly high level of character quality established in previous titles.

Trucy, you're adorable, but... You're just not Maya.

To me, one thing that really stood out in Apollo Justice's story-telling is how much foreshadowing there is. It's incredible how much of the first three cases returns in the fourth and final chapter, undoubtedly beating out any Phoenix Wright game for weaving together several separate stories so perfectly.

Being a defense attorney, it's Apollo's duty to defend his client and prove them innocent. In every case but the first, this begins with an investigation phase. During this time, the player can question witnesses, talk with their client, and even go hands-on with the investigation. Much of this phase revolves around finding evidence and presenting it to the right person to coax them into talking. Sure, it's a little unrealistic in that a lawyer never does this sort of thing in real life, but let's not let realism get in the way of fun.

Time for frog lady to meet with Justice!

The game being made ground-up for the DS really shows through in the investigation phase. Several investigative maneuvers such as copying footprints and dusting for fingerprints are now handled by the touchscreen, much like they were in the fifth case of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney. Far more interesting than simply reading a description of the item that says "Bears Bob's fingerprints". Of course, that does still happen sometimes, but at least we get to have some fun once in a while.

There's no real problem with this advanced form of evidence gathering, but the lack of time we get to mess around with it sure is. Dusting for fingerprints and getting plaster molds of footprints only happens in the second case, which is a pretty big disappointment. I would have liked to see this higher level of interactivity spread throughout the game more evenly, instead of only experiencing it once or twice in the entire course of the game.

In addition to dusting evidence for prints, players can also investigate a 3d representation of the object to look for clues. Sometimes the most important part of a piece of evidence must be discovered with a hands-on investigation! Finding a drop of blood on an object can change the entire case, so close scrutiny is key.

Once the investigation is through, the real battle begins in the courtroom. The court proceedings in the Ace Attorney world are quite different from that of our law system. It's not so much an organized trial at some points as it is an all-out war, with evidence and testimony serving as ammunition. Certainly far more interesting than what we see in real life!

Certainly a lot more colourful a prosecutor than what you'd see in Law & Order.

The main part of any trial is the cross-examination. It's at this point that the player gets to pick apart the witness' testimony, exposing lies and inconsistencies in pursuit of the truth. The trials are undoubtedly the main attraction in any Ace Attorney game, and they're just as incredibly fun in Apollo Justice as they were in the Phoenix Wright titles.

One new feature exclusive to Apollo Justice is the "Perceive" function. Available only during trials at certain points, the player can focus in on the witness and detect tension. If the witness tenses up during a part of their testimony, the player can press them on that particular phrase and point out that they were subconsciously admitting to a lie. This tensing up can be represented in many ways, such as the witness fiddling with an object they have, sweating, or just a minor twitch. It's a lot like detecting a player's "tell" in poker, figuring out when they're bluffing about having a really good hand. In this game, though, the stakes are far higher than money. Justice hangs in the balance!

However, it seems that the cases aren't quite as difficult on the whole. While the first case is somewhat hard considering how early it is in the game, the overall difficulty is a little lower than past titles. For much of the last case, I could figure out what to present and where to do it on my first try, never earning a penalty. In fact, I think I had more trouble in the first case!

That's not to say that game's a cakewalk, though. There are still some pretty difficult sections. It's just not quite as difficult as some of the previous games.

One of the first things any Ace Attorney veteran will notice when playing Apollo Justice is how much cleaner the graphics are. Benefiting from the DS' increased horsepower, character sprites are much cleaner, and the additional frames in character animations are a huge improvement over the original series' more clunky animation.

Klavier's air guitar solo is a great example of Apollo Justice's improved character animations

In the third case, there's an amazing concert pre-rendered entirely in 3D. The quality of the animation is pretty good, and the video compression is hardly noticeable. Capcom really went the extra mile making this scene. The scene is available on Youtube if you want to see it, but I recommend just waiting until it happens in-game. Seeing it in context is so much more amazing than simply watching it online.

As expected, the music in Apollo Justice is catchy and well made. Several tunes from the Phoenix Wright trilogy have returned, some of which with a few little alterations. And of course, the trademark "OBJECTION!" yells are back, re-recorded with the new voice actors.

Of course, there's also a song played over the aforementioned concert. There are no words, but the melody is great. If the Gavineers were a real band, I'd likely be a fan.

When I first heard that Apollo Justice only had four chapters instead of five, I was a little disappointed. However, in the end, the incredible length of the chapters more than makes up for this. Chapter four was at least two chapters worth of gameplay. As for whether or not I'd play it again, I'd be working on my second play through right this minute if it weren't for the fact my sister's playing it now. As soon as she's done, though, I plan on jumping right back in. Sure, I may know which characters are lying and where to present evidence, but it would still be great to experience the story one more time.

SUMMARY

Storyline: 9.0/10
The cases are just as creative as they were in the original trilogy, with more twists and turns than a pretzel factory. However, most of the new characters just aren't as likable as the cast of the first three games. I just hope that we get some more interesting people occupying the inevitable sequel.

Gameplay: 9.5/10
Investigating and defending are as fun as ever, although compared to the Phoenix Wright games, Apollo Justice is a little on the easy side. Dusting for prints and using plaster to gather footprints is a welcome change of pace, however it only really pops up in one case. Still one heck of a great game, though.

Graphics: 9.25/10
I absolutely love the art style in all the Ace Attorney games, and with that being said, I was incredibly pleased with how Apollo Justice turned out visually. The occasional 3D parts are all very good-looking as well, and that one concert scene is just stunning.

Audio: 9.0/10
The Ace Attorney games have always been a pleasure to listen to, and Apollo Justice is no exception. With amazingly well orchestrated background music and the trademark "OBJECTION!" flying out of my DS speakers, I can safely say that Apollo Justice is a real treat for the ears.

Longevity: 9.0/10
Despite having only four cases, Apollo Justice still lasts just about as long as any other Ace Attorney title. Even though, after your first play through, you'll know what evidence to present and where, it's still worth another go just for the great writing.

OVERALL: 9.0/10
Apollo Justice is yet another worthy entry in the Ace Attorney series. The incredible writing and plentiful twists really pulled me in, making me unable to put it down until I discovered the truth. If you want a good, thinking-man's game, Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney is the right game for you.

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The Duck Has Spoken.