Saturday, November 29, 2008

A small assortment of Team Fortress 2 rants

I've been playing Team Fortress 2 a lot lately. And by a lot, I mean way more than I should be. During this time, while I've had a whole lot of fun, I've also run into quite a few annoyances. No, not any sorts of glitches or faults of the developer. I've run into a lot of problems with the other players. People being stupid, being jerks, or otherwise just not being fun to play with at all. The following article goes out to all these people.

First of all, y'all gotta stop pushing people off the teleporters. If someone gets to the teleporter before you do, leave them. They got to it first. It's their right to use it. You can darn well wait a few seconds for it to recharge, or just walk to the battle, okay?

Relating to the above, if you're a scout, for the love of all things good, don't use the freaking teleporters! For crying out loud, you're the fastest class by far! Leave the other, slower players to the teleporters, and hoof it! In the time it takes you to run there, the person who got the teleporter will already be there, doubling the fighting power at that moment. If you steal it, all that happens is one measly little scout gets there, while some other player waits and waits for the teleporter to recharge because it would take to long to walk. Not only is it a pain in the ass to have a teleporter meant for you used by a scout, it also hurts the team. So don't do it.

And would it kill you not to use such disgusting sprays in game? Good god, I've seen some stuff on the walls of pl_goldrush I wouldn't even show to my worst enemy. Keep your sick, twisted sense of "humour" to yourself and play the freaking game instead of disturbing all of your teammates.

If you're a spy, don't disguise as a scout. Ever. You move slower than a scout, you can't double-jump like a scout, and you can't use the bat like every other scout does. It's the worst disguise ever. Stop doing it.

A microphone can be a great tool in battle, allowing you to quickly pass information onto other players; and if you want to say something funny, go ahead, we all love a good laugh. But come on, people; Stop being racist, sexist, crass jerks. Stop screaming into your microphones. Stop blasting crappy music over them. And for crying out loud, if your microphone sucks, stop freaking using it. I don't need static and garbled speech blasting into my ears, thanks. Yes, I realize I can mute you with a few clicks, but I'd rather focus on fighting than pause and fiddle around just to stop some pre-pubescent idiot from swearing at me.

We've all heard of sore losers, but there's also such a thing as a sore winner. Yeah, your team won three rounds in a row; That's no reason to act as if everyone on the other team is the worst freaking player in history. And if someone kills you, don't scream obscenities at them. You died in a video game. You'll respawn. Calm down, man. Oh, and if your team is kicking ass, don't go "YEAH WE ROCK" if you're not even in the top ten on a twelve person team. You're hardly helping, pal, don't steal all the credit. Seriously, I've seen people with two points acting as if they're carrying the whole freaking team on their back.

Finally, quit using aim-enhancing programs. You aren't kidding anyone when you use one. You suck at Team Fortress 2 and you need a program to make you any good. It annoys everybody, enemy and ally alike. Turn off the bot, get some practice, and darn well play like you should. Can't get a kill like that? Practice some more. Believe me, it's a whole lot better than sitting back and letting the computer do all the work.

If you're reading this and any of the above applies to you, please take my words into consideration next time you play. We'd all appreciate it.

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1 comment:

Kyle said...

Very nice article.

Similar (somewhat) to what you said, check out this article I came across a while back...